


First You Get Hurt

by transboiyurio



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Attempted Suicide, Eating Disorder, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Modern AU, Self Harm, Slow Burn, hella angst, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-06
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2018-12-24 02:25:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 61,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12003006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transboiyurio/pseuds/transboiyurio
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha's life is pretty bad. But then things get worse. But then they get a lot better. But then they get so. Much. Worse.





	1. Homecoming

Sasuke leaned his head back against the window of the train, the vibrations spreading throughout his head. The trip back to Konoha wasn't so long, but he had been on this train for at least two hours now, and he was starting to get tired.

Sasuke was in college in Otogakure, which was a few hours away from Konoha. Konoha was where Sasuke’s family was from, it was where his brother lived. His brother, who had looked after him since he was ten. Since their parents had died. It was his brother who always made sure he was safe. Who dropped out of high school to get a job and put food on the table.

Sasuke knew that Itachi had wanted him to go to school and do what Itachi never could. And now that Sasuke was coming back from school, he knew Itachi wouldn't be too happy.

The rest of the train ride passed by in a blur. Sasuke wasn't completely sure if he had zoned out or dozed off or none of the above. But the train was stopping just outside of Konoha, and Sasuke picked up his bags and stepped off.

Konoha was cool this time of year. It wasn't cold enough for a jacket, but it wasn't warm enough to do without something on your arms, either. Otogakure was north of Konoha and it had been a bit colder. Sasuke's jacket was just fine, though. It wasn't like him to complain about the cold.

Waves of nostalgia crashed over Sasuke as he stepped through the gates of Konoha. He was remembering so much of the childhood he had spent here. Walking through the city’s streets, he could barely contain a smile from gracing his lips. Konoha’s streets were reminding him of everything good from his childhood, before he had grown to despise the place.

Sasuke still remembered his way through the streets of Konoha. Oto’s streets had been difficult to memorize, since they differed so greatly from the layout of Konoha. But Sasuke had been able to memorize every twist and turn of the roads in Oto, and still remember everything about Konoha, too.

So Sasuke didn't have to search too far back in his memory banks to find his way to where he was certain someone would be.

The Uchiha family restaurant.

There was a big man that Sasuke didn't recognize was standing at the door when Sasuke walked inside. This man was tall, broad shouldered, and somehow resembled a shark. Sasuke wasn't sure why, he just did. His name tag read Kisame, and that name didn't ring any bells to Sasuke. Itachi must have hired him once I left. _I wonder what other changes Itachi made…_

“Can I help you?” Kisame grunted, forcing Sasuke to look back at him. His voice was gruff and his eyes were kind of cold. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder why Itachi had put someone so cold and unwelcoming to work as a host.

“I’d like to see Itachi,” Sasuke said. He definitely didn't miss the way that Kisame’s eyes narrowed at his brother’s name.

“What do you want with Itachi?” Kisame growled.

Sasuke shrugged. “He's my brother. I'd like to see him,” he argued.

Kisame’s eyes went back to their normal size and he cocked his head in confusion. “Sasuke?” he guessed.

“That’s me. Can I see my brother now?”

Kisame hesitated, but nodded anyway. “Sure. He’s in the kitchen. You know where that is?” he said. Sasuke nodded. “Alright. Go ahead,” he added, dipping his head and stepping aside, letting Sasuke enter his family’s restaurant.

Sasuke glanced around at the familiar colors on the walls, and at the pictures that covered them. This restaurant had been in Sasuke’s bloodline for generations, Sasuke had practically grown up here. It was a little after lunchtime, but still before dinner, so there were few people there. Sasuke recognized a few of them, but not all. _At least Itachi’s still got customers. He must make a pretty steady income if business is the same as it was before I left._

The path to the kitchen had been etched into Sasuke’s brain from a very young age. His parents always let him in the kitchen, teaching him how to cook and serve and whatnot. He knew they had been raising him to take over the restaurant. He wondered how they would feel about him going to law school.

Sasuke walked into the kitchen. There weren’t very many people there, but there were enough. Most were people that Sasuke didn’t recognize, but there was one person there that he did recognize. One person with long, black hair tied back in a ponytail with dark eyes and stress lines on his face from the years he had to support himself and a younger brother with a small income of money by himself. Itachi.

Most of the people there were the wait staff, with a few of them wearing black aprons and chef’s jackets. At the sound of footsteps, a guy with long, blond hair styled in the most ridiculous fashion and bright blue eyes turned and looked at Sasuke. His eyes narrowed. Sasuke had never seen this person before in his life, so he was thankful for the nametag pinned to his black shirt that read Deidara.

“Can’t you read? Staff only in the kitchen, hm,” Deidara hissed, crossing his arms over his chest. This caused all the others in the kitchen to look at him, with looks that Sasuke could only describe as menacing.

Sasuke just smirked and rolled his eyes. “You sound so stupid right now,” he said, then pushed Deidara back and walked further into the kitchen. He stopped in front of his wide-eyed brother. “Itachi.”

Itachi’s jaw had dropped. He was staring in awe at Sasuke, not even noticing the way that Deidara looked ready to murder Sasuke with a glance. Another guy with red hair was holding Deidara back, but Sasuke didn’t even bother to look for a name. “Sasuke.” Itachi finally said suddenly. Then, he smiled softly. It was that soft smile that Sasuke had known since they were kids. But there was a certain warmth to it that made Sasuke drop his angsty smirk and actually smile back. “It’s good to see you, brother.”

“You too,” Sasuke answered.

“Everyone- out. Go tend to the guests. I’d like a moment with my brother,” Itachi ordered, looking past his brother to see everyone’s stunned faces. A collective groan sounded among the staff, but they went outside anyway.

“Sasuke,” Itachi repeated, turning off the burner of the stove that had been on. “What’s going on? I thought you were in school.”

Sasuke’s smile fell. There were so many things that he needed to tell Itachi, but as he stared at his brother, he could only imagine the disappointment that would follow. Sasuke took a deep breath. “They sent everyone home for a few weeks on a temporary leave. So I decided to come home,” he explained.

Maybe that wasn’t the truth. Maybe Sasuke was avoiding giving a reason to sound better to his brother. Maybe Itachi would kick his ass if he found out why Sasuke was home. Maybe it would just be better if Itachi never found out.

“You’ve always hated it here, Sasuke,” Itachi pointed out dryly.

“Nevertheless, I wanted to see you. And I’m back,” Sasuke argued.

Itachi smiled again. “Maybe I wanted to see you, too,” he murmured. Sasuke smiled softly. It wasn’t often that Itachi decided to show some affection, but it was welcome. “Any particular reason you decided to show up at my work, though?”

Sasuke shrugged. “I knew you’d be here. You always work long hours. And I don’t have keys for the house anymore,” he said.

Itachi reached in his pocket and produced a pair of keys. “Maybe I’ll close up early tonight and you and I can go out and grab dinner,” he said, placing the keys in Sasuke’s outstretched hand. “You should go home for now, though. I don’t want you hanging around here all day. I know Oto’s a bit far, and you must be tired from travelling all day.”

Sasuke shrugged. “Not really. But I’ll leave you be,” he said, closing his fingers around the keys.

“Sasuke,” Itachi said as Sasuke turned to leave. His brother was facing the stove again, reapplying heat to the large pot that sat there. Sasuke turned his head. “Welcome home.”

**

Sasuke slept on Itachi’s couch for a while after leaving the restaurant. Itachi still lived in the same two-bedroom apartment that he had gotten for them after the death of their parents, but Sasuke was just too tired to go to his old bedroom for a nap. So he crashed on the couch, but didn’t sleep long. Sasuke never slept long anymore.

He was on his way back to the restaurant now after waiting at the house for a while. Itachi had texted him while he had been sleeping to meet him at eight. Now it was 7:30, and Sasuke couldn’t wait around anymore.

He got to the door, only to see Kisame turning around the open sign to say “closed” instead. Sasuke opened the door anyway, noticing the way that Kisame sighed. “You again?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. “I guess I have to let you in,” he said, stepping inside to allow Sasuke to walk into the dining room. Sasuke nodded and walked by.

Many unfamiliar faces passed him on his way out the door, though Sasuke had just seen them all in the kitchen before. He still knew very few of their names. Other than them, however, the restaurant was vacant.

Sasuke sat down at a small table in the middle of the room, deciding not to go searching for his brother. He figured Itachi wouldn’t want to go out anywhere else and was just about to come out with two hot bowls of ramen and glasses of water.

Sure enough, a few moments later, there was Itachi coming out of the kitchen with two bowls in his hands. He was followed closely by the blond guy with a dumb ponytail (Deidara? Was his name?) who held two glasses of water. He just glared at Sasuke, but Itachi smiled warmly.

Itachi set down the two bowls first, and Sasuke could literally see the steam coming off of the noodles and broth. Itachi then took the glasses of water from Deidara and set them down. Then, quickly, he turned to face Deidara and wrapped an arm around his waist. Sasuke certainly didn’t miss the way that his older brother pressed a quick kiss to Deidara’s lips, then as a blush came over the smaller man’s cheeks. “Thank you. You may go now,” Itachi murmured, smiling at Deidara and running his fingers through the blond hair covering his eye.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, hm?” Deidara said, not actually sounding angry and arrogant this time.

“Tomorrow. Goodbye,” Itachi dismissed. Deidara smiled softly before walking away from Sasuke and Itachi.

Itachi sat down and let his smile fade. He looked totally casual now, as if his younger brother hadn’t just witnessed him and his boyfriend(?). “Sasuke. Are you feeling alright?” Itachi asked.

Sasuke shrugged. “I’m fine. But you… are you dating that guy? Is he your boyfriend?” he asked, hoping his brother couldn’t tell how much he had been dying to ask.

Itachi chuckled softly, then let a small smirk grace his lips. “Boyfriend? Hardly. I’ve slept with him from time to time, but then again, he sleeps with everyone,” he explained, picking up his glass and taking a sip of water. “I told him if he helped me make us dinner, then I’d sleep with him sometime this week. Not that he’s a particularly good cook, because honestly, he’s a waiter for a reason. But he’s very good in bed, I will admit that, and that’s why I asked him to help.”

“I don’t think I want to talk about your sex life, Itachi,” Sasuke grumbled, awkwardly playing with the straw in his glass of water.

“Why? Is it because your sex life is non-existent?”

Sasuke sighed. “You’re right. I do hate it here.”

Itachi’s smirk grew. “I’m sorry, little brother. That’s enough about me, anyway, you’re the one who’s been away. How’s Oto? Is school going okay, other than the temporary leave thing?” he asked, finally picking up his chopsticks and starting on his bowl of ramen.

Sasuke shrugged, and did the same. “It’s alright,” he lied. “I’m doing fine in all my classes, and it’s not too hard.” Again, it was a lie. But Sasuke always found it easier to lie about these little things to his brother than to tell him the truth. Itachi would be absolutely livid if he found out the truth. And Itachi’s intense anger was something that Sasuke knew he wouldn’t be able to handle at the moment.

“Good, good,” Itachi murmured, nodding, and slurping on his noodles. Sasuke just picked at his dish. “So, why are you home? I got the temporary leave part, but why? I know they won’t just send you home just because, there’s got to be a reason.”

Sasuke silently thanked any kind of higher power out there that he had had time to think long and hard about why he wasn’t at school. Because the whole school on temporary leave just wasn’t true. It was just Sasuke on temporary leave, and for reasons that weren’t so good. But he had an excuse prepared, and he was going to use it. “One of the key administrators died suddenly near the end of the semester. With graduations and exams, the faculty was kind of lost and had no time to prepare to fill the position in. So they sent everyone home while they figured it out, and classes should be resuming in a month,” he said.

It was a lie, of course. Sasuke would not be returning to school in a month. It would take much longer for him to be able to return to school. But Sasuke figured that one month would be enough time for him to build up the courage to tell Itachi the real reason he wasn’t at school anymore.

“A whole month? That’s a pretty long for the school to find a replacement. But if you’re home, then I’m not complaining. It’s been a long time, brother,” Itachi said. He took another bite of his ramen.

Sasuke shrugged. “It is what it is. I don’t have to do anything for a whole month,” he murmured.

“That’s true, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t do anything,” Itachi said, setting his chopsticks down for a moment and taking a sip of his water.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “What does that mean?”

Itachi smiled again. “Sasuke, I could use your help around here,” he said. “Business is crowded as always, and you know your way around here.”

“But you've hired all these people, and now I'm assuming that you're sleeping with all of them. I doubt you'll need me,” Sasuke argued. He looked down at his ramen. He really had no appetite, but he wasn't about to tell Itachi that.

Itachi sighed. “Just so you know, I am only sleeping with two of my employees. The rest of them are all just sleeping with each other, not me,” he explained. “And it'll do you good to do something while you're here. You know how crowded it can be around here, and your help would be greatly appreciated since you already know so much about the way I do things.”

Sasuke bit his lip. “I haven't been cooking in years. I don't remember how to make noodles anymore,” he admitted.

Itachi smiled again. “That's fine. I wouldn't move you to the kitchen right away, either. You'll be a server for now.”

“A server?” Sasuke exclaimed. “I was raised in this restaurant and you're making me a server?”

“You said it yourself; you haven't been cooking years. So you'll be a waiter until you figure out how to make ramen again,” Itachi said. “Don't worry, I guarantee you'll be a better waiter than some of the others I have around here.”

Sasuke sighed. “I don’t know… I mean, I finally get a break from school and you’re making me work for you now?” he asked.

Itachi shrugged. “Yes. I know your schooling isn’t cheap, and you could use some extra money for when you go back. I’m just helping you, Sasuke. Will you work with me?” he asked.

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice, then. Alright, I’ll work with you,” Sasuke murmured.

Itachi smiled brightly. “Good. Thank you,” he said. “Now, eat up. You’ve hardly even touched your food, and I’m almost done.”

“I’m not very hungry.”

“Fine. Eat what you want, then I’ll finish what you don’t. Then we can go home,” Itachi murmured, eating more of his ramen.

Sasuke shrugged, ate a small bit of the dish. Again, he had a very little appetite, so he handed the almost-full bowl over to his brother before he had even finished his own.

“Sasuke, are you feeling alright? You’ve hardly eaten,” Itachi commented, though he gladly accepted Sasuke’s bowl.

“I already told you. I’m not very hungry. I’m feeling fine, I just don’t want to eat anything,” Sasuke repeated with a sigh.

Itachi shrugged. He had looked concerned there for a moment, but that look quickly disappeared as he drank the broth from his own bowl, then moved on to eat Sasuke’s share. Sasuke smirked. Good. I can’t have Itachi worrying about me. I can’t have him finding out why I’m not at school. He would absolutely hate me, Sasuke thought, sipping his water. He hated hiding such important matters from his older brother, since they had always been so close. But that closeness was the very reason that Sasuke had to keep this a secret.


	2. Bad Memories

_ The door was closed, but from what Sasuke had been hearing from outside, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go in. His head was screaming at him to move, to either go inside or run away, but Sasuke knew he couldn’t go inside. He could hear screams from inside, and they sounded a lot like his mother’s and his father’s. There was another voice that Sasuke didn’t recognize, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to open the door and figure out whose voice it was.  _

_ Only the sound of some louder screams and a thud was enough to force Sasuke to finally push through the door.  _

 

_ His mother’s body was on the ground and there was blood splattered all over the floor. His father sat on his knees, an arm around his mother’s body. He looked up at the sound of a door opening. He screamed out, “Run, Sasuke!” But Sasuke couldn’t run, all he could do was stay still and stare at his parents. Before he knew what was going on, a dark figure with no face appeared from the shadows, and stabbed his father through the heart with a long sword. His father screamed at first, then fell silent as his body slumped down against his mother’s.  _

 

_ “No!” Sasuke cried out, rushing towards his parents. But he didn’t get very far until he felt a sharp pain on his arm. The man with the sword had cut the side of his arm. Tears were brimming in Sasuke’s eyes as he tried to look up at the intruder, but he was being hit with the hard handle of his sword on his temples. Sasuke stumbled back, then fell against the floor, hitting his head roughly once again. His eyes unfocused and he eventually shut them with tears still on his cheeks.  _

 

Sasuke woke up suddenly, sitting up immediately. He was gasping for breath and when he put his head in his hands, he could feel the tears on his cheeks. He sighed. This wasn’t an unusual dream for Sasuke to have, he actually had it quite frequently. But no matter how many times he got it, it always brought him to tears to think about. 

 

It had been so hard for Sasuke to get over the death of his parents, and in so many ways, he still wasn’t over it. It had definitely affected everything in Sasuke’s life; him leaving Konoha for Oto, and him eventually leaving his university in Oto. But that part of his life was over now, and Sasuke had a job now. 

 

He had come home on a Saturday, then he hadn’t had to go to work on Sunday. But today was Monday, and he did have to go to work. He wasn’t looking forward to it; it had been a long time since he had been in Konoha and seen the people here. And he wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing any of them again. Sasuke had never really had any friends here, he had always been quiet and the death of his parents just made him close himself off completely. And to have to face all of those questions of, “Why aren’t you in Oto?” would just be awful for him. 

 

Sasuke had no idea what time it was when he got out of bed, but as soon as he walked out into the kitchen, he noticed that Itachi wasn’t up yet, probably since the kitchen window told Sasuke that it was still dark outside. Sasuke shrugged, since he knew he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anyway. Instead, he just walked further into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee. 

 

He sighed and pressed his cup to his lips, slowly sipping the hot liquid. It was black and devoid of any other significant flavor, but Sasuke liked it that way. He figured he should make breakfast or something, but he was never quite the cook that Itachi was. He decided to just wait for Itachi to get up and make breakfast for both of them. 

 

Until Sasuke heard a low moan that sounded like it came from Itachi’s room. 

 

Ever since the death of his parents, he had never been comfortable with hearing strange sounds in his house. It had always scared him more than it probably should have. Memories of that night came flooding back to Sasuke as he set down his coffee. He rose up from his spot at the table, wondering whether or not he should go check out what was happening in Itachi’s room. He couldn’t decide whether he should be worried about it or not. 

 

Then he heard the sound again, and when Sasuke shut his eyes for a moment, the only image that came to him was one of Itachi lying in a pool of his own blood on his bed. Sasuke shuddered at the thought, and finally decided he should go check on his brother. Without Itachi around… well, Sasuke didn’t even want to think about it. 

 

Sasuke’s hands trembled as he went into the kitchen and picked up one of Itachi’s home chef knives. He didn’t want to feel completely helpless this time if the worst  _ was  _ happening. Slowly and quietly, Sasuke padded down the hallway towards Itachi’s master bedroom. As he got closer, he heard something that sounded like a muffled scream. Sasuke’s eyes widened at the sound and he quickened his steps. His heart was pounding in his chest and as much as he hated it, he couldn’t stop thinking about the deaths of his parents, and how the same thing could be happening to his big brother. Sasuke only hesitated for a second before opening the door to his brother’s room. 

 

Itachi wasn’t dead or dying, though. He was very much alive. And so was Deidara. 

 

Itachi wasn’t alone in his room, he had Deidara with him. And they were both naked. Deidara laid underneath Sasuke’s older brother, his legs around Itachi’s waist. Itachi was on top of him, pinning Deidara’s hands above his head with only one hand. Itachi had his other hand clamped over Deidara’s mouth. Deidara’s eyes were shut and he had a bright red blush on his face. Sasuke was just glad that they were close enough together that he couldn’t see anything he really didn’t want to from his brother. 

 

Itachi’s head snapped up at the sound of the door opening and Sasuke’s eyes widening. “Sasuke?” he said, not moving from his position. Hearing Sasuke’s name must have brought Deidara out of whatever daze he had been in and his blue eyes opened, then widened when he saw Sasuke standing in the doorway. “Sasuke, do you know what time it is?” 

 

“Do  _ you?”  _ Sasuke hissed back. His hands had stopped shaking now. 

 

“Sasuke, go to bed.” 

 

“But-” 

 

_ “Now.”  _ Itachi had always been a little scary, but now he was glaring at Sasuke and growling his words. Sasuke sighed and took a step back and closed the door. He sighed before walking back out to the kitchen. He should have known that Itachi wasn’t in any kind of danger. He should have known that Itachi was just sleeping with someone. He closed his eyes and shook his head, trying to forget the images of what he’d just seen in Itachi’s bedroom.  _ Fucking gross…  _

 

His hand shook as he still held the knife in his hand. He lifted it up, staring at the blade for a few moments. The longer he stared at it, the darker his thoughts continued to get.  _ No. Not now. There’s still the smallest possibility that Itachi will come out and then he’ll know why I’m not at school. He can’t find out just yet,  _ Sasuke thought. He put the knife back in its holder, then went back to his cup of coffee. 

 

It was kind of cold now, and as Sasuke sat down, he realized how it had really been a waste of time to go check on his brother. Especially since it had been nothing important to him at all. 

 

But as Sasuke drank the rest of his cold coffee, he couldn’t help but think about what he had just seen his brother and Deidara doing. Itachi had mentioned sleeping with him two days ago, but Sasuke hadn’t thought that he would actually bring him home. It made Sasuke wonder just how many guys Itachi was bringing over while he was away at school. Itachi was six years older than Sasuke, but Sasuke couldn’t help but compare himself to his brother. 

 

He knew that Itachi had mentioned sleeping with Deidara before. He had actually mentioned sleeping with  _ two  _ of his employees. Sasuke assumed Deidara was one of them, but that still meant that there was another one he didn’t know about. Sasuke wasn’t so sure he  _ wanted  _ to know. 

 

And Sasuke… well, Sasuke had been off at college. And at college, he had been staying just as chaste as always. He tended to shut himself off from people, he didn’t even have many friends. Meanwhile back in Konoha, Itachi seemed to be doing the opposite. Maybe Sasuke was feeling a little lonely, and seeing his brother with someone was only amplifying that feeling. 

 

Sasuke couldn’t help but long for someone that he could open up to. He didn’t want what Itachi had, he knew the bond between his brother and Deidara was nothing more than sex and had no feelings, but the fact that he had some kind of bond with someone else was desirable to Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke sighed, then made more coffee. 

 

He had drank another two cups of coffee and almost dozed off while sitting at the table. He didn’t let himself, though, because he already knew what kind of dream he would have. Actually, he was already dozing off when he heard the sound of a door opening and footsteps approaching the kitchen. Sasuke opened his eyes slightly and saw Itachi, fully dressed this time, thankfully, walking towards him. 

 

Instead of glaring, Itachi actually smiled at Sasuke softly. “Sasuke, didn’t I tell you to go to bed?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged, forcing himself to sit up. “I can’t sleep. That’s why I’m up in the first place,” he said. 

 

“You sure? You looked like you were dozing off there,” Itachi pointed out. 

 

Sasuke yawned, even though it didn’t help his case any. “Don’t question me,” he said. “Where’s your fuck buddy? Shouldn’t he be leaving soon?” 

 

Itachi shrugged and sat down across from Sasuke at the table. “He’s sleeping. He gets tired after coming three times in a row,” he murmured. He reached out and grabbed Sasuke’s half full cup of coffee. He just casually took a sip while Sasuke wrinkled his nose. 

 

“Thanks. As if I needed more images of that,” Sasuke growled. 

 

“Speaking of my sex life, I think we need to talk,” Itachi murmured, reaching for a spoon out in front of Sasuke and giving the coffee a stir. What exactly he was stirring, Sasuke had no idea. 

 

“If you’re going to ask me again, I will tell you, I have no sex life. I’ve never fucked anyone, and I’ve never even kissed anyone,” Sasuke hissed out first. 

 

Itachi smiled. “That’s sad, Sasuke, but that’s not what I was going to say. I wanted to talk about exactly what I saw when you walked into my room.” 

 

“Itachi, it’s fine. I know you’re gay, and I know I should have knocked. Sorry, it won’t happen again,” Sasuke said quickly. “Can I have my coffee back now?” 

 

Itachi slid the coffee cup over to his little brother. “Sure. I don’t like it black anyway,” he said. “Anyway, none of what you just said was relevant, other than that you should have knocked. I’ll just cut to the chase now, since you don’t seem to get it. Sasuke… I want to know why you walked into my room with a knife in your hand and obvious panic on your face.” 

 

Sasuke froze up, clutching the spoon in his cup between two fingers. “I… I heard a noise and I got scared. You having sex was probably the last thing I would’ve expected,” he murmured, staring down at the coffee. 

 

“Why were you scared? Why were you even up? Was Dei too loud, because I’ll beat his ass if he woke you,” Itachi said, pointing off in the direction of his bedroom. 

 

Sasuke sighed. Should he tell Itachi? Was that a good idea? He bit his lip, then took a sip of his coffee. “No, no, it wasn’t him. I had a bad dream, and I couldn’t sleep. Anyway, as to why I got scared and walked in on you… well, you know what happened the last time I heard someone screaming in another room. What else was I supposed to think?” he explained. 

 

Itachi sighed. “You thought I was in danger? Is that why you were holding a knife?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. “I’m sorry to hear that. Because Dei thought you were just a protective younger brother and you were going to stab him for sleeping with me,” he explained, chuckling lightly. 

 

“No, I don’t care about that. You can sleep with whoever you want, and I won’t care. But I just… last time, I was totally helpless to do anything. I only had that knife because if it had been an intruder, then I wouldn’t have to be helpless anymore,” Sasuke said, taking the spoon out of his coffee cup and licking it off before sipping his coffee again. 

 

Itachi stood up suddenly, walking around to the back of the kitchen. Sasuke could hear him making his own cup of coffee behind him. Sasuke sighed and took a sip of his own coffee, telling himself he shouldn’t make any more coffee once Itachi was done. Eventually, Itachi sat down again, with a cup of coffee sitting in front of him. He reached out across the table, placing his hand on top of Sasuke’s. It only lasted for a second, though, because Sasuke pulled his hand away soon after the initial touch. “Sasuke, you don’t need to be afraid,” Itachi said. 

 

Sasuke looked away. “I know,” he murmured. “But sometimes I just get these thoughts, and then I can’t stop thinking about them.” 

 

“Sasuke, are you lonely?” Itachi asked suddenly. 

 

Sasuke looked back at his brother suddenly. “That has nothing to do with anything that we’re talking about,” he hissed. 

 

Itachi smiled again. “I know. But then again, yes it does. I know you haven’t been able to get over the deaths of our parents, but maybe if you had someone, it would be easier for you to deal with it. I know you ran away to Oto because you felt alone, and you probably felt even more alone while you were there. You need people around you, Sasuke,” he said. 

 

“I have people around me. I have you,” Sasuke said. “And you seem to be able to tolerate me. Why do I need anyone else?” 

 

Itachi sighed. “Sasuke, you’re totally missing the point. I’m saying you need more people around you, someone that’s not related to you by blood. You need someone like my Deidara, or maybe someone that you actually feel love for,” he explained. 

 

“You’re saying you don’t love Deidara? After what I walked in and saw and you don’t love him?” Sasuke asked, folding his arms over his chest. “And if you don’t even love him, then you’re in no place to lecture me about love.” 

 

“I know that. What I feel for Deidara is simply nothing more than lust. He’s hot, I’m hot, we work well together. But I know that he’s not the only one that I’m sleeping with, and I can name at least three other guys at the restaurant that he’s sleeping with. We have lust, and it works fine.” 

 

“And now you’re saying that I need to find someone to have lust with?” Sasuke asked. “I don’t know if I like that.” 

 

Itachi smirked. “Lust works for me. Lust may not work for you.” 

 

“So who else are you sleeping with?” Sasuke asked suddenly. 

 

“Since when is this about me?” 

 

“Since you tried to tell me that I need a fuck buddy.” 

 

“If you must know, it’s Kisame from the restaurant,” Itachi said. “Him and Dei are my regulars. But sometimes I make exceptions if someone looks at me the right way.”

 

Sasuke furrowed his brow. “Kisame and Deidara? But they’re so different from each other.” 

 

“It  _ works,  _ Sasuke, you don’t need to understand,” Itachi explained. 

 

Sasuke shifted in his seat. “I don’t think I want to talk about your sex life anymore, Itachi,” he said uncomfortably. 

 

Itachi sighed. “Oh, you’re no fun, Sasuke,” he said. At Sasuke’s tired expression, Itachi shrugged. “Sorry, Sasuke.” 

 

“Right. Anyway, what time do you have to go to work? What time do  _ I  _ have to go?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Itachi shrugged again. “Not till later. You should get some rest, though. I can’t have you being tired at work. That just means bad service, which you won’t be getting paid for,” he said. 

 

“I’m not tired. I don’t need that much money anyway,” Sasuke argued. 

 

“Alright, fine. Don’t sleep, I don’t care. But I just came three times, so I’m going to bed,” Itachi said, standing up. He had somehow downed all his coffee already and was putting the cup in the sink. 

 

“Itachi, I don’t like knowing about your sex life,” Sasuke casually reminded. 

 

“I know. Too bad it’s the only interesting thing about me,” Itachi argued as he walked off to his bedroom. Sasuke sighed and stared back at his coffee cup. It was cold now, and Sasuke didn’t have the heart to drink any more of it. 

 

There was just something so disheartening about listening to Itachi go on and on about all the sex he was having, when Sasuke was still a virgin at twenty years old. He had never felt too much attraction towards anyone, but late at night, he couldn’t help but wonder why he was so undesirable to everyone else. He didn’t want to think about when the real morning came and he’d have to see Deidara walking out of Itachi’s bedroom wearing Itachi’s shirt that was too big on him and with Itachi’s arm draped around his shoulder. Maybe Itachi was right, Sasuke needed someone to be his Deidara. 

 

Feeling exhausted, Sasuke decided to go to his bedroom. He collapsed on the bed, burying his head in the pillow. But the second he closed his eyes, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep with all the loneliness creeping up on him. 


	3. The Darkness Gets Bigger

Sasuke walked into the restaurant behind Itachi a little before noon. The restaurant never opened until noon, and Sasuke supposed that was good, assuming he'd actually be able to sleep later than six in the morning some time. 

 

Sasuke followed Itachi to the kitchen, wearing one of the waiter’s shirts that was just a little too big on him. It had been Itachi’s shirt, and Sasuke supposed he was pretty skinny. Itachi lead Sasuke into the kitchen, and when they got there, there was already a group of people standing around. Kisame, the guy from the door who Sasuke couldn't look at the same way ever again, Deidara, another one who Sasuke couldn't look at ever again, and some others that he didn't recognize. 

 

Itachi was grabbing an apron from somewhere and tossing it to Sasuke. Sasuke caught it, though he was barely paying attention. “Sasuke, I’d show you what to do, but I know you know how. But just let me know if you need any help,” he said, then walked further into the kitchen. 

 

“Hn. I won’t need any help,” Sasuke growled. 

 

“I know. Just figured I’d be nice and offer it,” Itachi mused, smiling up at his brother while he started bringing his pots over to the stove. 

 

“Kisame, you should get out there. We’ve only got five minutes until we open, and I like to be prepared,” Itachi added, turning to the large man standing in the doorway of the kitchen. 

 

Kisame nodded, and Sasuke hated the way that he smirked at Itachi. Especially now that he knew what Itachi and Kisame did sometimes after hours. Sasuke figured it was just a matter of time before he walked in on his brother riding Kisame’s dick or something like that. The thought honestly disgusted Sasuke. 

 

“In the meantime, Sasuke, I don’t think you’ve ever been formally introduced to anyone else here other than Deidara,” Itachi commented, looking up from the large pot that he was filling up with water from the sink. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Hn. I don’t care,” he commented. “I won’t be here long anyway.” 

 

“Sasuke, don’t be rude,” Itachi warned. 

 

“But it's true,” Sasuke argued. “I'm leaving in a month, and I don't need new friends.” 

 

Sasuke regretted saying it, and he wanted to go crawl inside the oven as soon as the words left his mouth.  _ Stop lying. It's bad enough that you have to lie to Itachi as it is, but do you really have to keep digging yourself deeper into it?  _ Sasuke bit his lip, but made no move to fix himself. 

 

Itachi sighed and turned back to his stove. “Whatever, Sasuke. I guess I can’t make you do anything,” he murmured. 

 

There was a deep pit in Sasuke's stomach. Every part of him just wanted to fall to the floor and tell everyone the truth. If he was already this guilty after three days, how was he supposed to keep living this lie for a month? Sasuke wished he hadn't gotten himself into this, but he also knew that there was no way he could face Itachi and tell him what was going on. 

 

“What's the matter,  _ Sasuke?  _ You feel bad about being a little bitch? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, hm.” 

 

“Deidara, please,” Itachi’s voice pulled Sasuke out of his daze. 

 

Sasuke blinked, then looked down at the small, blond man standing next to him. He glanced over at Itachi for a moment, then rolled his eyes and looked back at Sasuke. Sasuke just smirked. “After the position I saw you in last night, or this morning, rather, and you still dare to talk to me like that?” he scoffed. 

 

Deidara’s blue eyes widened, and his cheeks turned a little pink. Sasuke couldn't help but feel pretty proud of himself. He could feel Itachi glaring at him from across the room, and that only intensified when a guy that Sasuke didn't recognize spoke up. 

 

“Damn, Deidara. I knew you were sleeping with Itachi, but I didn't think you liked Uchihas enough to fuck your boss’ baby brother, too.” The man who had spoken had silver hair, despite being around Itachi’s age. His hair was slicked back, and he had this asshole smile on his face. His black button down shirt was buttoned down a few buttons to expose a pretty good sized portion of his chest. His name tag said  _ Hidan _ , even though Sasuke had no idea how it was still on his shirt. 

 

Sasuke glanced down at Deidara, smirking again. The blond’s face was turning even redder and somehow, his eyes widened even more. “Shut up, Hidan, I’d never sleep with  _ him!”  _ Deidara shouted, his fists clenching by his sides. 

 

“As much as I hate to agree with him, it’s true. I don’t like slutty guys,” Sasuke said, still smirking. 

 

Deidara’s head turned to face Sasuke quickly and intensely. His bright blue eyes had narrowed in a glare, and it might have seemed a little scary. However, Deidara was a grown adult and he was quite a bit shorter than Sasuke was, and that just diminished any possible threat that the smaller man could possibly pose. “Did you just call me a  _ slut?”  _ he growled. 

 

“Yes, I did. But then again, I’m only going off of what Itachi told me,” Sasuke murmured in a bored tone. 

 

Sasuke probably should have felt bad for saying that, since he saw the way that Deidara’s face fell. He turned towards Itachi, who looked livid as he glared at Sasuke. “Itachi… you didn’t really say that, did you?” Deidara asked, his voice soft. 

 

Itachi's eyes turned back to Deidara. “No, I-I… well, I might've… but, I didn't mean anything bad about it,” Itachi stammered, looking guilty. 

 

“You'd talk about me like that?” Deidara uttered, his voice breaking. Sasuke could see the way that his eyes watered, and that was when he knew that he'd fucked up. “I know it was just to your brother, but is that really how you feel about me? Hm, like I'm just some cheap slut that you get to fuck whenever you want? I thought you thought more of me, Itachi, hm!” 

 

Itachi sighed. “Dei, I never said that,” he protested. 

 

Deidara was shaking his head, though. “You didn't need to say it. I know it's what you're thinking,” he said, looking away. When he did, Sasuke could see even better that Deidara  _ was  _ on the verge of tears. It was kind of strange, since he always seemed so haughty and arrogant. To suddenly see him look so vulnerable was just  _ weird.  _

 

“Dei-” 

 

“Itachi, I'm letting people in now. You should start sending your servers out soon,” Kisame announced, suddenly inserting himself into the conversation from the doorway. 

 

Deidara scoffed and wiped his eyes. “I'm going home,” he said, reaching around his back and untying his apron. 

 

“Deidara, I'm not paying you if you go home,” Itachi said, his voice sounding bored. 

 

“I don't fucking care!” Deidara shouted, throwing his apron down on the floor and storming through the kitchen to the back door, and leaving. 

 

Itachi sighed, staring after the door for a few moments. Then, he turned his gaze towards Sasuke, as did everyone else in the kitchen.  _ “Sasuke, you're dead,”  _ Itachi hissed, his voice low and actually kind of scary. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. He knew how angry his brother was, but he just couldn't find it in himself to care. “Guests are coming in. Waiters- get out!” Itachi barked, turning back to his stove. He dropped a metal spoon with a clatter, and Sasuke decided that it wouldn't be in his best interest to stay. 


	4. Old Memories

The restaurant that Sasuke had grown up in hadn’t changed at all, but the people who were coming sure had. It wasn’t that there was an entirely new crowd of people here, because hardly anyone ever moved to Konoha from some place else. It was just that the people who were coming had changed so much since Sasuke had left. 

 

For example, there was Kiba, the dog boy that had been in Sasuke’s class. Back then, he had been a small boy who always wore jackets that were too big and tried to sneak his small dog into the restaurant in a bag. Now, however, he had grown and his dog was too big to even fit under the table. And then there was Shikamaru and Choji, two other boys who had been in Sasuke’s class. They were the ones who always laid in the grass during recess with only their pinky fingers looped together. Now, though, they sat at a table for two together, their hands openly out on the table and all of their fingers laced together with wide smiles on their faces. 

 

It was kind of strange to see how all of Sasuke’s old classmates had changed. It was even stranger to give them fake smiles and tell them how he’d be leaving again soon enough. All of it just made Sasuke feel bad. Because he began to realize how everyone around him had changed so much, but Sasuke was just the same depressed kid who hated his life that had left for Oto three years ago. 

 

The worst was perhaps when Sasuke saw some of his old teachers. It was around 8 now, and the last of the dinner crowd was just getting settled in. Sasuke was already tired after the lunch rush, and he was feeling exhausted after the end of the dinner rush, too. And so he reluctantly walked up to one of his tables that had just sat down while he stared at the little notepad in his hands, trying to memorize another table’s orders. He only looked up when he heard his name. “Sasuke?” 

 

Sasuke lifted his head, only the people who recognized him used his name. And actually, not a whole lot of people recognized him. But this voice was familiar, and it hadn’t changed like most of his old classmates had. And the face confirmed it. A man with silver, spiky hair and a scarf around his nose and mouth was staring up at him, holding up his hand in a half-hearted wave. “Kakashi-sensei?” Sasuke asked stupidly as he placed the face of his old high school teacher. As Sasuke glanced around the table, he realized he recognized almost every person who sat there. There was Kakashi. There was one of the teachers that Sasuke never had but had always heard Kakashi talk about, Gai, was sitting there in his tight green shirt and dark bowl cut. Lastly, there was someone that Sasuke didn’t recognize. He was a broad-shouldered man in a red and black flannel with mousy brown hair and scary, dark eyes. And they were all sitting in a booth, all three squished together on the same side. Strange. 

 

“Sasuke, I thought you were studying in Oto,” Kakashi commented. “It’s nice to see you, though.” 

 

Sasuke forced himself to smile softly. “Yeah, I was. I’m on a short leave for a month, though, and Itachi’s having me take up my time working here,” he explained. “What are you guys all doing here, anyway?” 

 

“We’re on a date, Sasuke,” Gai announced loudly, beaming brightly at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke nodded, glancing around at the three men. Guy was smiling, and Kakashi’s eyes were crinkled in such a way that lead Sasuke to believe he was smiling. The unnamed guy just had a blank expression, until he turned towards Kakashi, saw his smile, then smiled softly as well. “All of you?” Sasuke asked, hoping he didn’t look nearly as confused as he felt. 

 

“Yes, of course,” Gai confirmed, wrapping an arm around Kakashi’s shoulders and pulling the other man close to him. 

 

“It’s called polyamory, Sasuke,” Kakashi said, his face blank. 

 

“I know. I’m not judging, though, don’t worry,” Sasuke said, forcing himself to smile again. “It’s just a little surprising. Anyway, can I get you guys some drinks?” 

 

“Yamato and I will have waters, and Kakashi will have an iced tea,” Guy said, with another one of his trademark smiles. 

 

Sasuke scribbled down their orders, then tapped his pen against his notepad a few times. “Okay, I’ll be right out with that,” he said. He smiled again, then disappeared into the kitchen. 

 

On his way, he heard Kisame call out from the front of the room, “Sasuke, I’ve got another one in your section!” Sasuke sighed. He had forgotten how emotionally and physically draining the dinner rush was. 

 

He returned with the drinks, distributing them to each teacher respectively. They thanked him and gave their dinner orders. Sasuke then went over to his other table, where a blond head was studying the menu. Sasuke walked up to the side of the table, finding that this man was dining alone. “Hi, what can I get you?” he asked, just as the man sitting there said his name. 

 

Sasuke looked up and saw yet another familiar face. This was the face of another one that Sasuke had gone to school with. He couldn’t remember his name, though, because he had never really interacted with this person. He was someone who could be friendly with everyone, which was the exact opposite as Sasuke. However, Sasuke vaguely remembered this guy as being at the bottom of all of his classes. Sasuke didn’t even know how this kid knew his name. “Sasuke, is that you?” the other man asked. 

 

Sasuke blinked. “Yes. I’m sorry, but I can’t recall who you are,” he answered honestly. 

 

The other man’s face fell for a second, then it brightened back up. “My name’s Naruto Uzumaki. Remember it, because you’ll be screaming it all night long,” he said, smiling up at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke just blinked.  _ What?  _ “Um… okay. I think I remember you,” he mumbled. “Now, can I get you something to drink?” 

 

Naruto’s face fell again, as he looked back at the menu. “Uh, yeah, I’ll have Mountain Dew,” he answered. 

 

Sasuke nodded and wrote it down. “Okay. I’ll get it right back out to you,” he said, then turned back to the kitchen. 

 

On his way, he kept thinking about what Naruto had said to him. It just didn’t make sense. Why would Sasuke be screaming his name? The two hardly even knew each other, so what did it mean? 

 

It took until Sasuke was getting Naruto’s drink into the cup for it to hit him.  _ Screaming his name all night long… he wants to have sex with me.  _ Sasuke gasped when he was filling up the drink, eventually dropping it and spilling Mountain Dew all over his shoes. 

 

“Sasuke, what the fuck?” Itachi shouted. For some reason, Itachi was standing right behind Sasuke and had been there to see him drop the drink.  _ Fuck, Itachi’s already pissed at me. Now he’s gonna hate me even more for making a mess,  _ Sasuke thought, forcing himself to turn around. 

 

“Uh… I think someone was just flirting with me,” Sasuke murmured, glancing up guiltily at his older brother. 

 

Itachi crossed his arms over his chest. “Hm, maybe I’ll go find who it is and ruin your damn relationship,” he fumed. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “Itachi, I’m sor-” he started to say. 

 

“No, shut up. And you really had no reason to drop that drink. Be thankful I don’t trust you enough to clean it up,” Itachi spat. He then stalked away, back into the kitchen. “Konan! My  _ brother  _ just spilled a drink and I need you to clean it up for him!” he called out to an unknown person. “And bring him another cup!” 

 

Sasuke was looking at the ground, at the soda surrounding his feet. His body was shaking, why was he shaking? Itachi was so angry at him, and Itachi never got  _ that _ angry at him. What was wrong with Sasuke? His arms wrapped around his own body, and he just couldn’t stop shaking… 

 

“Sweetie, don’t feel bad. Here, take this, and don’t stand in that mess.” Sasuke looked up at the sound of a woman’s voice. He saw a woman who was a little taller than he was with purple hair and a piercing below her lip smiling gently at him. Sasuke assumed this woman was Konan. She held out another cup to him. Hesitantly, and with shaky hands, Sasuke took it. 

 

He grunted, hoping she hadn’t noticed the way that he was about to break down. He filled the cup back up with ice and soda and walked back out to the dining room, fishing a straw out of his apron’s pocket. He set it down on Naruto’s table, and placing the straw beside it. “There. Now, what can I get you to eat?” Sasuke asked softly, taking his notepad back out. 

 

Naruto beamed at him, but Sasuke couldn’t find it within himself to smile back. “Can I get the ramen with barbequed pork?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke nodded, and wrote it down. His handwriting looked awful, since his hands were still shaking so badly. “Is that all?” he asked. Naruto nodded. “I’ll go get it, then,” he added, closing up his notepad and heading back towards the kitchen. 

 

Konan was still mopping up the spilled soda by that time. He ripped out the piece of paper with Naruto’s order and hesitantly slid it across the counter, not daring to look up at his brother on the other side. He felt the paper being yanked away from his hand, most definitely by an angry Itachi. Hesitantly, Sasuke shoved his hands in the pocket of his apron, and went back towards the front of the kitchen. He passed the spill again, but she wasn’t there anymore, though there was still a small puddle of soda. 

 

Sasuke didn’t know where to go, he hardly had anyone left in his section. There was hardly anyone left in the restaurant, anyway. Sasuke wanted to go home, but Itachi would hate him even more if he left before his shift was over. And Sasuke was so afraid to go home, so afraid to probably get his ass kicked by Itachi. Itachi’s wrath was something that Sasuke never wanted to experience, but now it was surely going to happen. 

 

“Sasuke! Come get this order out there!” Itachi was shouting from the kitchen. Sasuke jumped at the harshness of his brother’s words, but walked back to the kitchen. 

 

“Sorry,” he murmured, taking the tray from the counter. He forced himself to avoid Itachi’s hard glare as he walked away from his counter. What the hell was he going to do once he got home? Home alone, with no one else except him and Itachi… 

 

Sasuke nearly tripped as he walked back out into the dining room, but caught himself. He blinked, instead focusing on which person had ordered what. It was the order for all of his teachers, and his eyes were shut as he walked up to them, focusing carefully. “Sasuke? You alright?” one of them asked. Sasuke opened his eyes, finding that it was Gai who had spoken. 

 

Sasuke nodded. “Y-yeah. Sorry about that. Anyway, here’s your food,” he murmured, distributing each dish to each awaiting man. “Enjoy. I’ll be around if you need me.” And with that, he nodded and left the kitchen. 

 

Walking back, he noticed that the puddle of soda had been cleaned up. Actually, Konan was just leaving as Sasuke went into the kitchen and set the tray back up on the counter. He was turning to leave just as Itachi was shouting at him again. “Sasuke! Another order! Stop slacking off!” 

 

Sasuke fought back a sharp reply and he took the bowl of ramen from the counter. He didn’t bother getting a tray, since it was just one dish. It was hot, but Sasuke didn’t care. He just wanted to get out of the kitchen. 

 

He brought the ramen to Naruto’s table, accidentally slamming it down a little too loudly. Naruto jumped at the sound of it. “Sasuke? You alright?” he asked, looking up at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke scoffed. “Yes. Will you stop asking me that?” he snapped. 

 

“I only asked you once…” Naruto snapped back, narrowing his eyes into a glare up at his waiter. 

 

Sasuke stared at him for a moment, then sighed. “Sorry. Today’s not been a good day,” he confessed, glancing down at the floor. 

 

“You wanna sit and talk about it?” Naruto offered, the tone of his voice turning gentle. 

 

“No, thank you,” Sasuke denied stiffly. “Just eat quickly so I can go home quickly.” With that, he nodded and briskly left the other man’s table. He could feel Naruto’s eyes on him as he left, but he tried not to think about it. The only thing he wanted to think about was the idea of going home and going to sleep. 

 

Sasuke hid back in the kitchen, watching from the window from the kitchen at the door with the other servers. It was kind of funny, some of them were holding hands in a circle, praying that no one else would come in. There were ten minutes before the restaurant’s official closing time, and honestly, Sasuke nearly asked if he could join their prayer circle. 

 

Fortunately, no one else came in, and Sasuke had cleared his section. Kakashi and Gai had both hugged him once they left, telling him they hoped to see him again before he left for Oto again. Their other boyfriend, Yamato, just kind of smiled at him. Sasuke supposed it wasn’t so strange, since he had pretty much left Konoha without any goodbyes to anyone except Itachi. 

 

It was much shorter once Naruto left. Sasuke simply took his bowl away and brought him his check, telling him to pay it up by Kisame. “Can I see you again sometime?” Naruto had asked, winking at Sasuke. 

 

“If you come in and sit in the same section within a month, then yes,” Sasuke answered coldly. 

 

Naruto just smiled. “I’ll come in every day to see you, then,” he answered. 

 

Sasuke just shrugged. “That’s fine. It’ll just go to my paycheck, after all,” he said. “Have a good night, sir,” he added, turning away quickly before he could get into more of a conversation with Naruto. 

 

He dropped the bowl off with Obito, who was washing dishes, then walked back towards the group of other servers. “Sasuke, has your section been cleared?” Konan asked, her voice warm and gentle. He nodded. “Mine has, too. That means we’re done for the night. Itachi’s given us permission to leave for the night. Would you like me to walk home with you?” she offered. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. “No. I can handle myself,” he answered. 

 

“Sasuke, you don’t need to push everyone away,” Konan warned, crossing her arms in front of her chest. 

 

“I know. I’d just rather be alone, thank you,” Sasuke said, trying to prevent his temper from flaring up. 

 

“Then let’s just walk to the door, and then we’ll go our separate ways. Sasori, come with us,” Konan said, turning her head over her shoulder to address the short, red-haired man. “We’re all done, so it’s best to just go home.” 

 

Sasuke nodded, deciding he didn’t want to seem too terribly rude anymore. The three of them walked towards the door after taking off his apron. Kisame turned at the sound of footsteps. “Going home?” he asked, glancing between the three. They each nodded wordlessly. “Have a good night, then. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” With that, he opened the door for them and let them outside. 

 

“Good night, Sasuke. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Konan said, smiling softly once they were outside. Sasuke smiled softly and nodded. He waited until Konan and Sasori exchanged a glance, then walked off in the same direction together before he turned and walked away in the opposite direction. 

 

The night was cold, but Sasuke didn’t mind. He worked on getting the name tag off of his black button-down shirt while he walked home. The cold wasn’t bothering him. His thoughts were the ones bothering him. 

 

Facing Itachi once he got home was what scared Sasuke the most. His brother rarely got angry with him, and when he did, it always blew over quickly. This, however was not going to blow over quickly.  _ What the hell had I been thinking?  _ Sasuke thought as he walked away. He scoffed and shoved his hands in his pockets. He never should have said anything to Deidara, it was honestly the stupidest thing he could have done. 

 

Sasuke arrived at the apartment he shared with Itachi. He had found his key in the time that he had been home, and so he was able to get inside. Once inside, he didn’t even bother to turn on the lights. He just put his key back in his pocket, then went to his bedroom. He went inside shut the door, and took a deep breath. Finally, he laid down on his bed, his face in the pillow and closed his eyes, trying not to think too much about what had happened today, and what was about to happen once Itachi got home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there, I'd just like to say thanks because I've actually gotten a lot more positive feedback than I was expecting??? Especially since this is the first fic I've actually had the balls enough to post lmao. But yeah, thanks to you guys for the nice comments and kudos :)


	5. The Worst Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: this chapter does contain self-harm in the form of cutting. Please proceed with caution.

Sasuke knew Itachi was home once he heard the sound of the front door slamming. “Sasuke!” Itachi shouted, his voice loud. Sasuke jumped, then got out of bed, and finally got out of his bedroom. He saw Itachi standing in the living room, his arms by his sides and his fists clenched. That same cold glare was still in his eyes and it was fixed on Sasuke. 

 

“What?” Sasuke asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He hoped he didn’t look nearly as nervous as he felt. 

 

“Don’t say that like you don’t know what’s going on! I know you know what you said, and I can’t even begin to explain how upset I am with you!” Itachi growled. He stepped forward, towards Sasuke, and Sasuke instinctively stepped back. 

 

“Itachi, I’m sorry. I never meant to-” Sasuke began, raising his hands up in defense. 

 

“I don’t care if you meant to or not! You still did it! Like damn, Sasuke, you knew I liked him, and you still talked to him like that? There’s some things that I say that you just shouldn’t repeat. I really thought you’d be smarter than that,” Itachi hissed. 

 

Sasuke’s hands found themselves back up to crossing his arms. “You liked him? You said it yourself, Itachi, you don’t love him. Why should I care if you lose one of your fuck buddies? I’m sure you’ll find another one with a good body who doesn’t mind working for you. Why’s he so special?” 

 

“Sasuke, I don’t expect you to understand. But I  _ liked  _ what I had with Deidara. And he liked it, too. And now you’ve come home, and you’re determined to ruin my relationships. He already didn’t like it when you walked in on us, and now he’s really upset. If I can’t get him back, Sasuke, then I swear, you’ll be dead!” Itachi threatened. 

 

“I don’t care! Get him back, don’t, it doesn’t matter. If you really liked him, then you would’ve never called him a slut in the first place,” Sasuke argued. 

 

“Shut up!” Sasuke had hardly noticed how Itachi had gotten closer to him, but now, he was right in front of him. His hand was striking against Sasuke's cheek. 

 

Sasuke’s head turned to the side, and he made no move to move it. Itachi had just hit him. Itachi  _ never  _ hit him. He could see Itachi’s shoulders heaving up and down with rage, and it took everything inside of Sasuke not to break down in tears. “Go to bed, Sasuke,” Itachi hissed. His voice was so cold, it was honestly terrifying. “Or go out. I don't care where you go, just get out of my sight.” 

 

Sasuke wasted no time. He decided not to say anything, because he really didn't want to cause any more trouble. He left for his bedroom without another word. 

 

He closed the door softly, then stayed with his back pressed against it for a few seconds. He could hardly breathe, but with every breath he took, he felt he was being too loud. Itachi hated him. He had been hoping that Itachi wouldn't be that angry, but he really was. It didn't take long for the tears behind his eyes to fall and stream down his cheeks. 

 

Sasuke walked towards his bed and collapsed on top of it. He tried to keep his sobs as quiet as possible, but it wasn't working so well. He buried his face in the pillow again, his body shaking. 

 

He hated everything that had happened today. He hated himself for letting it all happen. He couldn't control his mouth, and he hated that about himself. Temptation was clouding up Sasuke's mind, to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He reached over towards his suitcase on the floor of his bedroom. He still hadn't put his things away yet; he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He searched through the pockets until he found a small pocket knife that he hadn't wanted to bring out so soon. 

 

With shaky fingers, Sasuke unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt and took it off. He threw it across the room, then extended the blade of his knife. Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, the pressed the blade of the knife against the skin of his arm. He dragged the blade across his skin slowly and carefully. He pulled the blade away, watching as the scarlet blood bubbled up over the wound. Sasuke looked away, and repeated the motion a few more times. Sasuke tucked his knees up to his chest, sobbing softly. He threw the blade back into his bag. He glanced down at all the blood on his arm, then pulled a tissue out of the box next to his bed. He draped it over the wounds, pressing against it, despite how badly it stung. 

 

Tears still ran down Sasuke’s cheeks. How had he managed to fuck up so badly? He sighed, lifting up the bloody tissue from his arm. There was still so much blood on his arm, and the tissue was nearly soaked in blood. Sasuke wiped the tears from his eyes, then placed another tissue over his wounds. Honestly, it was such a headache. 

 

The blood flow had slowed, but had not stopped completely. Sasuke’s eyes were already drooping, and he didn’t want to stay awake to clean it all up. Itachi’s words were still fresh in his mind, and Sasuke could only pray that everything would be okay by the morning. He got an old, gray hoodie from his university out of his suitcase now, and slipped it on. Looking down at the left sleeve of it, he could see the small blood stains from past nights like this. 

 

Sasuke sighed and covered himself in his blankets, wiping his eyes with them. He let his eyes drift shut and his mind carry him off to sleep. 

 

**

 

There was blood on Sasuke’s sheets when he awoke. It scared him at first, but then he felt the stinging feeling in his arm and realized it was his own. He was able to relax a little bit more, and pull the blankets up tighter around him.

 

His room was still enshrouded in darkness, though, and when Sasuke checked his phone, he realized it was only one in the morning. Sighing, Sasuke shut his eyes again, hugging his scarred arm against his body. He knew he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep anymore, but he figured he would try anyway. 

 

But memories from the night before replayed over and over again in his mind. His hands were shaking underneath his blankets, and he realized that trying to sleep would just be a waste of time. So he sat up, and tried to ease his mind. It didn't work, and he ended up trying to sneak out of his bedroom and into the bathroom as quietly as possible. 

 

Sasuke shut his eyes and tried to control his breathing. He had always thought that being in school was the most anxiety-inducing place he could ever be, but being here at home was closely challenging that. 

 

The stinging feeling on his arm was the constant reminder of what Sasuke had just done. Now, in the bathroom, he had turned the lights on and was glancing down at the sleeve of his hoodie. He could see the fresh spots of blood in between all the old stains that had been there since one of the first weeks of college. Sighing, Sasuke figured that he should clean up the dried blood on his arm. He took off his hoodie and threw it down on the floor. 

 

Staring at his own reflection in the mirror was enough to make Sasuke sick. Ever since he had gone away to college, he had gotten significantly skinnier. Many of his peers had joked about how instead of gaining the “Freshman Fifteen,” he had instead lost the “Freshman Fifteen.” 

 

Before he had gone away to Oto, in his first three years of high school, Sasuke had been able to maintain a healthy weight. He had never been overweight, but he hadn't been underweight, either. He had always had a good body weight. But in his last year of high school and into college, he had stopped eating like he should and eventually lost a lot of weight. 

 

Now his ribs were nearly visible and any muscle that had been built up in his abs was gone. His arms were much thinner than they used to be. But he just never had the appetite to eat anything or get back to a healthy body weight. 

 

The sight of his own body scared Sasuke so much, so he looked away. He hadn't come here to shame himself for his weight, he was here to clean up his wounds. The new scars on his arm were still covered in quite a bit of dried blood, and the thought was just a big reminder of everything going on with Itachi. That fight still burned so badly in Sasuke's mind, and he really didn't want to think about it anymore. 

 

Stumbling up to the sink, he grabbed a wad of toilet paper and wet it with tap water from the sink. He wrung out the excess water, then pressed the damp tissue against his new scars. He dabbed at them until the water ran pink down his arm. Disposing of the tissue, he dried the skin with a towel. He was then left looking at the mutilated skin of his left arm. Between the fresh, red, and angry scars that Sasuke had put there only a few hours before were the small, white ghosts of scars. They had never healed properly, since Sasuke was always able to see them. At this point, Sasuke figured they would never go away. 

 

Who the hell would ever be able to love someone with so many ugly scars? 


	6. It Never Ends

Itachi left early for work the next day without even a word to Sasuke. Sasuke nearly forgot he had work, too, and he didn't even leave the house until it was fifteen minutes before noon. The restaurant wasn't too far away, however, and Sasuke ran to make it there on time. He got there with five minutes to spare, even though he was panting by the time he stumbled through the door. Fortunately, Kisame wasn't at the door so Sasuke was spared some of the immediate embarrassment. But as he hurried into the kitchen, he was dismayed to find everyone else already there. Everyone, except for Deidara. 

 

“Well, look who finally decided to show up,” Itachi commented loudly, forcing everyone to look up and stare at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “Don't be mad because I'm here and your little boy toy isn't,” he snapped. 

 

One of Itachi's large chef’s knives was flying past Sasuke's ear and lodging itself in the wall behind him. “I wonder why he's not here! I wonder who could have possibly made him not want to come into work today!” he shouted. 

 

The knife aimed by Sasuke’s head caused everyone in the kitchen to gasp. The fact that Itachi would throw a knife at his brother’s head probably scared and surprised them, probably because Itachi usually never spoke ill of Sasuke. But now there was a knife behind Sasuke’s head, which only narrowly missed nicking his ear. Sasuke would have wanted to cry, but he told himself not to break down in front of Itachi. “I wonder who called him a slut in the first place. I may have said it to his face, but you’re the one who said it first. I never said that  _ I  _ thought he was a slut,  _ you  _ are the one who actually called him a slut. How is it my fault that I was just repeating your words?” he hissed. 

 

“I just don’t understand how  _ stupid  _ you have to be to repeat something like that to his face!” Itachi shouted. “Maybe just stay out of my business! I swear, ever since you’ve come back from Oto, you’ve done nothing good for anyone! Maybe you should just go back to Oto!” 

 

Sasuke just held his gaze. There was no point in arguing, not when it was completely true. Sasuke wasn't doing anyone any good by being home. His mental state was so shaky, he already ruined his great relationship with his brother. And yes, while it did hurt to hear Itachi saying those things, Sasuke knew that he deserved it all. 

 

Someone's hand was on Sasuke's shoulder, and when he looked up, he discovered it was Konan. She wasn't saying anything, though, she was actually watching Kisame, who had his hand on Itachi's shoulder. “Itachi, why don't you try to get Deidara back to work at least? I'm sure he still needs money,” he suggested, his tone calm and even. 

 

Itachi shook his head. “It’s no use. I've been calling and texting him all last night and all morning. He won't pick up his phone,” he explained. He had calmed down quite a bit now. Now, he was acting like a kitten in Kisame’s lap. 

 

“Well, he's probably still angry at you, so he won't answer  _ you.  _ But he might answer to someone else, and they can convince him to come back,” Kisame suggested. 

 

Itachi looked thoughtful, then nodded. “Sasori!” he called out, looking towards the small redhead. “Have you spoken to Deidara since he stormed out yesterday?” 

 

Sasori blinked, his expression blank. “No. I haven't tried,” he said nonchalantly. 

 

Itachi sighed. “I have no idea why he likes you so much,” he muttered. “Has anyone talked to Deidara in the last twenty-four hours?” 

 

“Well, I have. I called him after work and he just kept crying about how inconsiderate you were,” Hidan said. 

 

Sasuke's stomach dropped. Why had he been so rude to Deidara? Sure, he was arrogant and annoying and actually kind of a slut, and Sasuke hadn't thought that calling him out on it would hurt him so bad. But to hear that he was just at home crying to only his best friend about how hurt he was made Sasuke feel truly awful. 

 

“Did you even try to convince him to come back?” Itachi asked, sounding tired. 

 

Hidan shrugged. “No. You were being a dick to him, I figured he'd be happier at home,” he said. 

 

Itachi shot a glare at Hidan.  _ “I  _ was being a dick? Let's not forget who caused this problem!” he shouted, casting a glare at Sasuke for a moment. 

 

“Itachi, stop it,” Konan warned, extending her arm so it was around Sasuke's shoulders. Normally, Sasuke would have loved to tell her to fuck off, but he just wasn't ready to talk to anyone. “Now you really  _ are  _ being a dick. If you keep treating your brother like this, then I hope Deidara  _ never  _ comes back to sleep with you again.” 

 

Sasuke watched as Itachi just rolled his eyes. Then, completely ignoring what Konan had just said, he turned towards the small redhead again. “Sasori, call Deidara. Put him on speaker and convince him to at least come back to work. I have a feeling that if you actually try, he’ll listen,” he said. Sasori nodded, then pulled out his phone as Itachi looked around the room. “I don’t want him to know that we’re all here, so no one say anything. Especially not you,  _ Sasuke,  _ you’d better not make a damn sound if you know what’s good for you,” he threatened, his gaze turning into a glare as he faced his younger brother. Sasuke chose not to respond. 

 

Sasori’s phone was ringing and he casually held it out in front of him. His expression was completely blank, despite the fact that everyone was staring at him intensely. Except for Sasuke, of course. 

 

The sound of each ring echoed throughout the silent kitchen, and when Sasuke glanced at his brother for a moment, he could see the intense worry evident on his face. However, Deidara actually picked up on the fourth ring. “What’s up, my man?” he asked. 

 

_ Crying, my ass. He sounds just like the same arrogant jackass he is on every other day. He’s fine,  _ Sasuke thought darkly. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he nearly missed the conversation that everyone in the kitchen was kind of eavesdropping on. “Deidara. Where are you?” Sasori asked, his voice casual. 

 

“At home, hm. What did you expect?” 

 

“Well… what are you doing?” 

 

“As if you care, hm. Sasori, why are you calling?” 

 

Sasori let out a dejected sigh, despite the fact that his face showed no expression. “I want you to come back to work with me, Deidara,” he said. 

 

The line was silent for a few moments. Then, Deidara cleared his throat and simply stated, “No.” 

 

“But-” 

 

“I said, no, Sasori. You can't make me go back, and I have no intentions on doing so, hm,” Deidara explained. 

 

Sasuke cast another glance towards Itachi, and he looked even more concerned than before. Sasuke would have rolled his eyes, but he still felt bad about causing all of this.  _ Maybe if I had never come back from Oto, we wouldn't be having all these problems,  _ he told himself bitterly. 

 

“Deidara, will you at least listen to me?” Sasori was asking. His face was emotionless as ever, but his voice had such exasperation to it. 

 

Deidara sighed from the other line. “Maybe. Depends on what you're trying to tell me,” he said. 

 

“Why won't you just come back? You don't have to even talk to Itachi, or anything. You can just avoid him, but come  _ back,”  _ Sasori pleaded. 

 

“No. I don't want to be anywhere near him, hm,” Deidara insisted. Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Kisame’s arm extend around Itachi's shoulders. 

 

Sasori sighed, glancing around the room for a moment. He closed his eyes, and took a deep breath before continuing. “Deidara, I-” he started to say. 

 

“I don't give a damn if Itachi misses me!” Deidara was shouting from the other line. Sasori’s eyes opened with a tired expression behind them. “If he was gonna miss me so much, then maybe he shouldn't have opened his goddamned mouth to his goddamned brother, hm! So Itachi can cry and plead all he wants, and I'm just gonna stay right fucking here!” 

 

“Deidara, if you hadn't cut me off, you would've known that I wasn't going to say anything about Itachi. I don't really care if Itachi misses you or needs your help or anything. This isn’t about Itachi. It’s about you, and it’s about me,” Sasori was saying. Sasuke had no idea how he remained so calm and so stoic. “As I was saying, Deidara,  _ I _ miss you.” 

 

Deidara was silent on the other line. Another glance at Itachi showed Sasuke that he was narrowing his eyes, his fist clenched against his chest. “You-you  _ what?”  _ Deidara finally asked, sounding entirely bewildered. 

 

Sasori sighed, and actually rolled his eyes. “I. Miss. You. There, is that clear enough for you?” he hissed. 

 

“Yes, hm. I-I just never expected  _ you  _ to say something like that,” Deidara admitted. 

 

“I’m going to ignore that, and instead ask if you’re coming back to work since I miss you so bad,” Sasori said. 

 

Deidara sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, hm, I’ll come back. But only for you, no one else, hm,” he said. He paused for a moment. “Wait, shit, you’re already in, aren’t you? Should I even bother coming in if it’s almost twelve, hm?” he asked. 

 

Sasori looked confused, until he looked towards Itachi. Itachi nodded furiously, there was a new fire in his eyes that betrayed all his feelings. “Yes, please come in. Yesterday was awful, and I miss you. Please come in,” he pleaded. 

 

“Alright. I’ll get ready. I’ll see you soon, then, hm?” Deidara asked. 

 

For the first time Sasuke had ever seen, Sasori smiled. “Yeah. Goodbye, then,” he murmured. Deidara only hummed in response before the line went dead. Sasori put his phone away, then sighed and looked around. “Good news. Deidara’s coming in,” he said, looking up at Itachi. 

 

Sasuke expected Itachi to be happy, but instead he was growling and throwing one of his metal spoons at Sasori. Sasori scoffed and glared at him. “I told you to get him to come back to work, not to profess your love for him! That totally defeats the whole purpose of him being here!” Itachi shouted. 

 

Sasori took a deep breath, but his eyes never let up from their glare. “You told me to get him back, so I did. And I only told him I missed him, not that I loved him. I’m not sure I’d go that far. Don’t be angry at me for doing what you asked,” he hissed. 

 

“For you, saying ‘I miss you,’ is practically the same as ‘I love you!’ You  _ knew  _ how badly I wanted him back! That was the whole point of this! You probably didn’t even mean it when you said that you missed him!” Itachi yelled. 

 

Sasori shook his head. “You don’t know a thing about me. You act like you’re the only one who cares about Deidara, but you’re not. You realize he sleeps with me, too, right? And that means something to me? Sure, I don’t always show it, but I think I care about him a hell of a lot more than you do. You know, since I never called him a slut.” 

 

Itachi looked livid, and Sasuke figured there was another knife that was aimed for Sasori’s head. But before his suspicion could be proven, Kisame spoke up. “Itachi, it’s nearly twelve. You need to start getting ready,” he advised. 

 

Itachi blinked, then looked up at Kisame. “You’re right. Let me know when Deidara comes in,” he said. He turned to glare around the whole kitchen. “Everyone else- get out unless you have to stay. Move!” 

 

**

 

Sasuke didn’t see when Deidara came in. He hardly even heard about. Deidara must have been avoiding him, just like he was doing to Itachi. Except it actually meant something to Itachi. Sasuke couldn’t care less, though, despite the aching in his head to apologize. Sasuke still had his pride, though, so he knew there was really no way he’d be apologizing. 

 

Despite Deidara’s silence, Itachi also seemed to be avoiding Sasuke. Actually, Itachi was pretty much avoiding everyone except for the occasional time when Kisame would drop in the kitchen in the slower times. It was weird, like Itachi didn’t even have the strength to argue with Sasuke or anyone else anymore. 

 

It was pretty sad, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel guilty for causing all of this for his brother. That thought just caused him to sulk around for the rest of his day. 

 

His day was pretty dull, anyway, though. It didn’t bring him nearly the same nostalgia as yesterday had. There was no group of polyamorous teachers, no old classmates and their dogs. Just Sasuke and a few familiar faces, but none really noteworthy. Sasuke hated to admit it, but he was kind of really missing Naruto right now. His smile and bad jokes might make Sasuke feel a little better, but it wasn’t exactly guaranteed. 

 

Sasuke was ready to go home by the time the dinner rush struck, but after the dinner rush, he found a familiar blond head seated by himself in Sasuke’s section. Sasuke sighed and walked over. “Hi. I see you’re here again,” he commented dryly. 

 

Naruto glanced up at him and smiled. “Did you really think I would go back on my word? Do you really think that lowly of me?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Maybe. I just figured your paycheck wouldn’t be able to handle coming here every night for dinner,” he murmured. 

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what would make you say that. You don’t know where I’m working,” he snapped. 

 

“Sorry. I just figured you were just a college kid, like me, with a dead end job in retail that won’t pay for your student loan debt,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

Naruto smiled. “Actually, you got part of that right. Except my college isn’t nearly as expensive as your pretentious one in Oto, so my little coffee shop job will pay for it just fine,” he countered. 

 

“You work in a coffee shop?” Sasuke asked. 

 

“Yeah. Every morning, from seven to one. You should stop by sometime and see me,” Naruto added with a wink. 

 

“My mornings are busy,” Sasuke said blankly. Naruto’s face fell. “Anyway, can I start you off with something to drink?” he asked professionally. 

 

Naruto sighed. “I’ll have a Mountain Dew, thanks,” he murmured. “And I can order now, too, if you want to put that in.” Sasuke nodded, scribbling down the drink in his notepad. “I’ll have the ramen with barbequed pork.” 

 

“Do you order the same thing every time?” Sasuke muttered. 

 

Naruto smiled. “I really like ramen,” he said. 

 

“I can see that,” Sasuke breathed out. “Anyway, I’ll go put your order in.” Sasuke turned around and left.  _ No pick up lines today… I guess he finally realized how terrible I am,  _ Sasuke thought as he ripped Naruto’s order from his notepad and sliding it across the counter. Itachi wasn’t there to grab it, Obito did it instead with a solemn glance towards Sasuke. Sasuke grabbed a cup, filled it up with ice, and then with Mountain Dew. He didn’t spill it this time, and he walked it out to Naruto. 

 

Setting the cup down, Sasuke sighed. “Your food will be coming out eventually,” he murmured. He turned around then, with full intentions of walking away. 

 

Before he could go, however, Naruto’s voice disrupted him. “Sasuke, wait,” he said. Sasuke turned around. “I had a question for you.” 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “What is it?” he asked. 

 

“Is there a mirror in your pants?” 

 

Sasuke blinked. 

 

“Because I can see myself in them,” Naruto said, winking again. 

 

_ And there’s the pick-up line. It’s so bad. Why did my heart just skip a beat?  _ Sasuke thought as his cheeks heated up. “I, um, have to go,” he murmured hastily. Quickly, he turned around and practically ran back to the kitchen. 

 

_ Naruto’s shitty pick-up lines are  _ not  _ working on me. I should not feel flustered, yet I am? Holy shit, why does Naruto seem to know exactly what to say to me?  _ Sasuke’s heart was racing as he walked back into the kitchen. He shook his head as one of his other customer’s orders out. While he walked through the dining room, however, he couldn’t help but cast a glance back towards Naruto’s table. The blond man sat with his back facing Sasuke. His shoulders slumped down and he was staring intently down at his phone. Sasuke hated that he blushed and had to look away. 

 

Once Naruto’s ramen was out, he delivered it out to his table. His head was torn between wanting to see Naruto, and not wanting to talk to him. Naruto only smiled and thanked him for the food, so Sasuke only nodded and walked away. 

 

Or he tried to walk away, anyway. 

 

“Sasuke, wait!” Naruto was calling out, forcing Sasuke to stop. He turned around to face the other man. Naruto was smiling back at him, so that was a good thing. He walked closer to Sasuke, smiling still as he asked, “Can I get your number?” 

 

Sasuke’s cheeks flushed bright red at the question. “I, uh… I don’t have a phone,” he lied.  _ Wait, what?!  _

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Yes, you do. I see you on it when you’re in between orders,” he countered. 

 

Sasuke felt even more embarrassed now, since there was a family of four sitting down beside them and trying to decide who would pay. Now they were looking up at him, and Sasuke was certain that his whole face was bright red. “You’re right. I meant to say yes, but that lie just slipped out,” he murmured. 

 

Naruto shook his head and smiled again. “You’re so awkward, Sasuke. I have no idea why all the girls liked you so much back in grade school since you’re so lame,” he said. 

 

_ That was before my mental state failed. That was before I left the village and everyone really started to hate me,  _ Sasuke thought. He just looked down at the ground. “Sorry. Guess you’re not getting it then,” he said instead, before turning and walking away. He could hear Naruto calling after him, but he just decided not to stop. Eventually, Naruto must have decided to leave, because when Sasuke looked back again, he wasn't there. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it has come to my attention that by the time this is finished, this fic is going to be really long. So to those of you already invested, I thank you and hope you'll decided to stick around whenever I get this all finished.


	7. Old Friends

Everyday that Itachi held his grudge against Sasuke, the more numb Sasuke felt inside. The more scars appeared on his arm. At this point, his arm stung so bad to even just wear his work shirt over. But there was no way he’d put on a different shirt and risk exposing those ugly scars. 

 

Very few things got Sasuke through his day. It was really only the fear of how livid Itachi would be if Sasuke skipped out on work to stay home and kill himself. So he went to work again, expecting to only fuck everything up like usual. 

 

But just after the lunch rush had mostly ended, Sasuke heard someone say his name while his head was busy being buried in his notepad. He lifted it, looking at the table of new customers in front of him. It was two girls; one with short pink hair and green eyes, the other with a long, blonde ponytail and striking blue eyes. Both of them smiled at him. They had both matured quite a bit since Sasuke last saw them, but he was still able to recognize them. They were Sakura and Ino, two girls that Sasuke could have sworn used to swoon in front of him. Actually, Sasuke had thought that they had hated each other, yet here they were, sitting together and smiling. 

 

“Sakura? Ino?” Sasuke asked, narrowing his eyes. 

 

Their smiles widened even more. “Sasuke, it’s been a while,” Sakura began. “Too long.” 

 

“I thought you were studying in Oto?” Ino asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “I was. Er, I still am. I’m on a short leave for a month, so don’t get too attached again,” he mumbled. 

 

Sakura rolled her eyes and her smile fell. “I know you were hot shit back in high school, but we’re changed women, now,” she insisted. 

 

“I can see that. You’re sitting together and talking together,” Sasuke said, smiling softly. 

 

At the sight of Sasuke’s smile, Ino smiled even wider. “You’ve really missed a lot, haven’t you? After you went M.I.A., everyone changed, even Sakura and me,” she said. 

 

“Let me guess; you two are dating now?” Sasuke murmured lazily. 

 

“How'd you know?” 

 

Sasuke looked up, his eyes wide. Both girls were smiling now, and they were even holding hands over the table. “I-I didn't,” he admitted. “Lucky guess, I suppose.” 

 

“I don't know what would make you guess it, but good job,” Sakura commented. 

 

“It's just that so many people from our high school are dating each other now. It's so weird,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“Who else do you know about?” Ino asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Well, there was Choji and Shikamaru. But I guess I saw that one coming. But Rock Lee and Neji Hyuga, that one threw me off. And Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei, and some other dude are all in some polyamorous relationship? I don't get it,” he murmured. 

 

“Choji and Shikamaru have been dating since high school. I used to see them kiss in the hallway all the time. They're actually really cute together. But yeah, I know what you mean about Lee and Neji. I mean, they kinda used to hate each other, but it's really sweet now when I see Neji walking around with braids in his hair that I  _ know  _ he'd never put in himself. And about Kakashi, Gai, and that other dude, Yamato… well I always figured there was something weird going on there, but it's actually really cute, too,” Sakura said, smiling up at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke just shrugged, then looked back down. “Anyway, I should be taking your orders,” he pointed out. 

 

Both girls were just smiling at him, still. “No, no, you should sit with us and we can catch up!” Ino suggested happily. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly, even though it was kind of wistful. In truth, he would  _ love  _ to sit here with these girls and just talk about anything and everything. But then there was the fact that Itachi might literally  _ murder  _ him if he stopped working to sit with some friends. And Itachi was already angry enough as it was. So Sasuke just smiled. “Oh, I’d love to, but my brother’d be pissed if he found out I wasn’t working. Sorry,” he declined politely. 

 

Sakura nodded with understanding. “That’s okay. I’d hate for your brother to be mad at you,” she said. Sasuke didn’t say anything, but he thought,  _ Oh, Sakura, if only you knew how bad it was…  _ “So, yeah, Ino, let’s order. I’ll have an iced green tea, if that’s okay,” she said, cutting off Sasuke’s thoughts. 

 

Sasuke nodded and looked at Ino. “I’ll have the same,” she said. 

 

So Sasuke scribbled it down in his notepad, then he closed it and nodded. “I’ll have that right out for you,” he promised. He offered another small smile before he turned back and walked towards the kitchen to get it. 

 

It didn't seem like very long before Sasuke was coming back to Sakura and Ino’s table with their food. He distributed each plate to each woman then held the tray against his body. “Enjoy your meal,” he said. 

 

Sakura and Ino exchanged a glance. “Sasuke, are you sure you can't sit and talk with us?” Sakura asked, leaning towards him. 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked around. “I don't know if I should,” he said. 

 

“Aw, come on, Sasuke. It's been so long,” Ino added. 

 

Looking up again, Sasuke tried to form an opinion. It wasn't like people were beating down the door or anything. There were very few customers in the restaurant, and very few in Sasuke's section alone. He saw Sasori delivering food to a table just a section away, so Sasuke did what he had to. “Hey, Sasori?” The redhead looked up at him. “Could you cover my section for a little bit? I've gotta do some things,” Sasuke called. 

 

Sasori just called back, “Okay,” and held his thumb up. 

 

Sasuke grabbed a chair from a nearby empty table and sat down between where Sakura and Ino were. “So what did you wanna talk about?” he asked. 

 

“Well, I dunno. Let's talk about you, Sasuke,” Sakura said through a mouthful of food. Sasuke supposed he couldn't stop the girls from eating. “What's it like in Oto? And what are you even studying out there?” 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “It's alright, I guess. I spend a lot of time studying, so I don't really get to appreciate the city. I'm studying law, and it takes a lot out of me,” he said. 

 

“Ooh, law. You any good at it?” Sakura asked. 

 

“I'm alright at it,” Sasuke lied. He didn't like lying to his friends, but it was better than telling them the truth. 

 

“So what's going on at your school? Why are you home, and when do you have to go back?” 

 

“I have to go back in a month. One of the key administrators of the school died suddenly, and no one really knew what to do so they shut down the school for a month until they can find a replacement. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but it's whatever,” Sasuke explained. 

 

Every time he told that lie, he was always a little more surprised with how well it worked. It didn't seem very plausible, but Sakura and Ino were both nodding with understanding. “Look, I like talking about college and all, but I really just have one question,” Ino interrupted suddenly. She exchanged a glance with Sakura, then looked back at Sasuke. “Sasuke, do you have a girlfriend?” 

 

“What?” Sasuke didn’t know what he was expecting, but that definitely wasn’t it. “Uh, no,” he said. This was definitely an awkward question. 

 

“What about a boyfriend?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“Any kind of significant other?” 

 

“No. Why do you keep asking?” he finally asked, narrowing his eyes. 

 

Ino shrugged. “You're kind of like the hottest guy in the village. I wanted to know if there was  _ anyone  _ good enough for you,” she explained. 

 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Ino just shrugged again. “Look, none of us Konoha girls could seem to get you. For a while there I was wondering if you had to go to Oto just to find a girl. Or a boy, I don't know what you like,” she said. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “I didn't go to Oto to find a significant other,” he said. 

 

“Well, I know that now,” Ino said. “But is there anyone you  _ want  _ to become your significant other?” 

 

Sasuke stared back at her for a few moments. He had no idea why she was so interested in his love life. No one else ever thought it was interesting, mostly because it was nonexistent. He didn't really want to answer this question, but Sakura and Ino were both staring intently at him, so he sighed and said, “No.” 

 

Both girls looked… shocked? Confused? It didn't make sense to Sasuke. “Really? You're not interested in anyone?” Sakura asked. 

 

This was getting frustrating. “No, I'm really not looking for anyone right now,” Sasuke huffed out. “Why are you so interested in my love life?” 

 

“We told you. You’re the most attractive guy to ever come out of Konoha. You could have any man or woman you want. And yet you're using your charms for nothing. It seems kind of stupid if you ask me,” Ino said. 

 

Sasuke sighed. He had never really cared about having a love life. Still, that didn't explain why he had been feeling so lonely since he came home and saw his brother kissing someone. Or why his heart started racing when he was talking with Naruto. The subject was suddenly making him uncomfortable as he thought of Naruto. 

 

“I don't want to talk about me anymore. Can we talk about you guys?” Sasuke said suddenly. 

 

Sakura and Ino exchanged a glance. For whatever reason, Ino had this sly look in her eyes. It kind of scared Sasuke. “Sure. What do you wanna know?” Sakura said instead. 

 

“I dunno; how long have you been dating?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Sakura smiled softly. “Well, it was shortly after we started college. We're both in the same medical school and have a lot of classes together. When we first saw each other there, we got kind of mad. We were about to start fighting, but I realized that it was dumb to hate her over some guy who wasn't even around anymore. So we started talking and being friends, and it eventually turned into love,” she explained. 

 

Sasuke found it in himself to smile gently. “I didn't realize you were both in medical school. That's impressive,” he commented. 

 

Sakura shrugged. “I guess so. I really just want to help people,” she said. 

 

Sasuke was about to respond when Sasori came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, Itachi’s starting to wonder why he hasn't seen you and he's about to get mad real quick. So end your date and get back to work,” the other man said quickly. 

 

“It's not a date,” Sasuke hissed. Sasori just shrugged and walked away. Sasuke sighed and turned back to his friends. “I guess I can't stay anymore. I'll see you later, I guess.” 

 

Sakura sighed as Sasuke stood up. “Okay. Wait, give me your hand and a pen,” she said. Without question, he gave her a pen and held out his hand. She took both and scribbled a phone number on his hand. “There. That's my number. So you can text me and we can hang out sometime,” she said with a smile. “Now get back to work.” 

 


	8. It's A Start

Sasuke's day wasn’t bad, but definitely could've been better. And the way it got better was by hearing the familiar, “Hi, Sasuke!” after the dinner rush had ended. 

 

He almost smiled at the sound of Naruto’s voice, but then realized that he couldn't let Naruto see that he was literally the best part of Sasuke's day. “Hey. Now, lemme guess, ramen with the barbecued pork and a Mountain Dew. Is that right?” he asked. 

 

Naruto smiled. “Wow, you memorized my order. Almost like you like me or something,” he said. 

 

Sasuke had to will himself not to blush, though it probably didn't work. “Only in your dreams, dumbass,” he hissed as he scribbled down the familiar order. He then turned to leave. 

 

“Wait, don't go!” Naruto cried out. Sasuke turned back around to face him. “You still haven't given me your digits.” 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I know that. I'll give it to you if and when I want to,” he said. Then he went to the kitchen to put Naruto's order in. He got the soda first, then delivered it to the blond’s table without a word. 

 

He didn't have to wait very long for the bowl of ramen to appear on the counter. He quickly grabbed it and took it to Naruto's table. “There you go. Enjoy your meal,” he said. 

 

“Thank you,” Naruto said. Sasuke nodded, and stepped back to leave. “Wait, Sasuke. I have a question.” 

 

Sasuke sighed. “What is it?” he asked. 

 

“Is there a phone in your back pocket?” 

 

Sasuke blinked. “What?” 

 

“Because that ass is calling me.” 

 

Sasuke should’ve known that that would only lead to another one of Naruto's bad pickup lines. Naruto’s bad pickup lines that seemed to work so well on Sasuke. “If that was your way of trying to get my number, it fucking sucked,” Sasuke said before he walked away. 

 

As bad as Naruto's pick up lines were, they somehow always seemed to really throw Sasuke off. He couldn't serve anyone else without thinking about what Naruto had just said. It wasn't even like it was a good pick up line for Sasuke. Sasuke had no ass, so what exactly was Naruto trying to get at? 

 

Sasuke returned to the kitchen, finally finding himself a break. As time seemed to tick by, he found himself joining the other servers at the window to watch for their customers leaving. Until, he caught Naruto staring directly back at the window. 

 

Sasuke's first reaction was to ignore it. To pretend it was just one of Naruto's weird quirks. But he didn't stop staring, and the other servers were starting to catch on. 

 

“Hey, Sasuke. That guy in your section keeps looking back here. You should go check on him,” Hidan said, glancing over at Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke groaned, but said nothing. He decided he should go check on Naruto, so he left the kitchen. As soon as Naruto saw Sasuke come out of the kitchen, his face lit up. “Sasuke! Can I get another drink?” he asked. 

 

“I don't know. Can you stop harassing me?” Sasuke asked and crossed his arms over his chest. 

 

Naruto's face fell. “I’m not harassing you! You've never acted like I was harassing you before,” he pointed out. 

 

Sasuke sighed. He was tired. “I'm sorry. It's just been a long day,” he said. 

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” 

 

“No.” 

 

“Uh… alright. Well, I'm just about done, so I guess I don't need that drink,” Naruto said. 

 

It was only then that Sasuke realized how off-putting as a server he must be. “Are you sure? I can get it for you if you really want it,” he said. 

 

Naruto just smiled, and Sasuke's heart melted a little. “It's alright. I'll leave if you get me the check,” he said.

 

Sasuke sighed and nodded. He gathered Naruto's bowl and glass, then walked back to the kitchen. He noticed the way Itachi completely ignored him. Sasuke pretended it didn't hurt as he printed out the check and delivered it to Naruto's table. “Here,” he said as he set it down. 

 

“Thanks, babe,” Naruto said. Sasuke had to look away to pretend he wasn't blushing. He just nodded and took a step back. “Wait, don’t leave yet!” He quickly gave his card to Sasuke. “I can pay now,” he said. 

 

Sasuke nodded and took the card back to the register in the back. Back to where all the servers were standing. “Sasuke, you’re blushing. What’d that guy say to you?” Konan pointed out, causing all the servers to look back at him. His blush must have only worsened. 

 

“Mind your own business,” Sasuke hissed as he printed out a receipt. He was about to take it out to Naruto, but he grabbed a pen before he could do so. For whatever reason, Sasuke found himself scribbling down his phone number on the end of the receipt with a written “text me.” He put the pen down, and walked out of the kitchen without another word. 

 

He got to Naruto’s table. He folded up the receipt so that his number wasn’t showing, and placed it down along with the card. “Have a good night, Naruto,” Sasuke said. He then walked away before Naruto could say anything or pick up the receipt. 

 

He was safely back behind the kitchen by the time Naruto picked up the receipt and looked at what was written on it. His jaw literally dropped into the goofiest smile, and Sasuke couldn’t help from smiling. Naruto looked so happy. His wallet was out, and he had placed a five down on the table as a tip, but after seeing the receipt, he slammed an extra twenty down on the table. Sasuke’s eyes widened. 

 

“Damn, Sasuke. He sure looks happy. What’d you write on that receipt, anyway?” Hidan was asking. Sasuke was quickly learning just how catty all these servers were. 

 

Sasuke just stared after Naruto as he left and said, “My number.” 

 

It was only once Sasuke was walking out into the chilly night on his way home that he felt his phone vibrate. 

 

**Unknown Number:** hey sas it’s naruto

 

Sasuke couldn’t help the stupid smile that spread across his face. 


	9. Maybe We've Got Something

If Sasuke was having a bad time on weekdays when he was at work, it was literally nothing compared to his weekends. As soon as he came out of his room at a reasonable hour, he was met with the daily reminder that Itachi fucking hated him. There was Itachi, sat on the couch, and curled around a cup of coffee. As Sasuke walked out into the kitchen, Itachi didn’t even look up at him. Sasuke sighed softly and just continued into the kitchen. For once, he would’ve rather gone to work today. 

 

He made a cup of coffee. The tension in the room was thick enough for Sasuke to cut through if he so desired. He couldn’t just sit there and have Itachi glare at him from afar. So he took his cup of coffee and went back to his room. Where he assumed he would have to stay for a while. Probably all day. 

 

He drank his coffee and reevaluated his entire life. He still had such a hard time believing that he had managed to do something stupid enough to make Itachi hate him like this. Gently, he set down his coffee mug and rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie. He instead grabbed the little pocket knife that was conveniently placed on his night table. Opening the blade, he could only sigh as he added more scars to the ever growing modicum of angry red lines on his forearm. When he came back to his senses, he set the knife down and picked up his coffee like his arm wasn’t currently bleeding. 

 

It was a little while after he had finished his coffee when he got a text. From Naruto. 

 

**Naruto:** hey sas u busy today????

 

Sasuke didn’t know when or why Naruto had decided to start calling him “Sas” but it felt nice that someone had given him a nickname. He waited a full minute before he texted back, since he wasn’t trying to seem desperate or anything. 

 

**You:** no why?

 

Naruto literally texted back immediately. Funny. 

 

**Naruto:** just wondering if u wanna do anything today

**Naruto:** bc im not doing anything

 

Sasuke had to hold his breath for a moment. He  _ never  _ had plans with a friend like this. He smiled softly. For some dumb reason, he  _ loved  _ the idea of going out and doing something with Naruto. It would get him out of the house, at least. 

 

**You:** sure

**You:** what do you wanna do? 

**Naruto:** idk can u meet me somewhere?? then we’ll figure it out

 

Sasuke looked down at his arm. It had been such a terrible idea to cut before this. What if Naruto saw? What would he think? He’d probably never want to talk to Sasuke again. He’d think Sasuke was some kind of freak or something. This one stupid thing could be the reason Sasuke lost one of his only friends. 

 

He’d just have to clean up really soon. 

 

**You:** give me like an hour

**Naruto:** that’s fine

**Naruto:** i’ll meet you near the gates then we’ll go somewhere

 

Sasuke chose not to reply. Now he just had to make it to the bathroom without Itachi noticing. Well, even if Itachi noticed, he wouldn’t care. So Sasuke was safe. 

 

He took a shower, put on a hoodie that was too big, and carefully walked out to the living room. Itachi didn’t glance up once, not even when Sasuke opened the door and left the apartment. He couldn’t help but be a little upset. 

 

The air was cold. Sasuke felt like he should’ve worn more of a jacket, but there was no way he’d go back into his apartment. Not while Itachi was there. So he just continued down the streets until the gates of Konoha were in sight. And along with them, a blond guy in an orange hoodie. At least Naruto was on time. 

 

As Sasuke approached him, he watched as Naruto’s smile grew. “Hey, Sasuke!” he called out. He was looking all up and down Sasuke’s body. His smile had turned a bit cocky by the time he had settled on Sasuke’s face. “Nice legs. At what time are they open?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke stopped a foot or so away from Naruto, staring at him with wide eyes. Why did Naruto say these things to him? “What are you trying to get at- saying things like that?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

Naruto blinked, then just gave Sasuke a blank look. “Well, I thought my intentions were pretty obvious,” he said. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. “Uh, forget it. Let’s go somewhere, okay?” he suggested. 

 

“Where are we going?” Sasuke asked. It sounded to him like Naruto didn’t have much of a plan. 

 

“I don’t know. Wanna get some breakfast and then head back to my place and watch movies or something?” Naruto suggested. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t feeling the breakfast, but if Naruto was hungry, he wasn’t going to oppose. “Yeah, that’s alright,” he said. No one said Sasuke had to eat, too. Honestly, he just wasn’t hungry. 

 

Naruto was smiling. “I’ll take you to the coffee shop that I work at. Then you can come visit me in the mornings,” he said. 

 

Sasuke smirked. “I’ll visit you in the mornings in your fucking dreams,” he said. 

 

“Don’t be rude,” Naruto hissed, finally stepping off. Sasuke wasn’t exactly sure why he followed. 

It was mostly quiet as they walked through the city streets. Sasuke wasn’t really one to start conversations, so it wasn’t really his fault. But as he walked through the streets with Naruto, he couldn’t help but feel nostalgic. Although he never would’ve hung out with Naruto before he’d left for Oto, he was happy to spend this time with him. New friends were always good, right? 

 

As Naruto walked with Sasuke through the streets, they ended up running into a lot of people that Sasuke had known from before. However, most people didn’t recognize him. There were old ladies outside on their porches that Sasuke could’ve sworn he knew, yet they only said good morning to Naruto. There was Kiba out taking Akamaru for a walk, and he completely disregarded Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t know how to feel. None of these people exactly liked him, but for some reason, he cared what they thought. 

 

Except a few blocks later, when they came across Kakashi, Gai, and Yamato out walking all eight of the former’s dogs. That was when Kakashi handed all the leashes that he was holding to Gai so he could hug both Naruto and Sasuke at the same time. That validated Sasuke for a moment. 

 

It wasn’t very long before they were stopping by a coffee shop. “This is where I work. It’s not too far from your restaurant, so you should definitely visit me. I promise I won’t spit in your coffee,” Naruto said, still smiling at Sasuke. 

 

“Whatever, loser. I don’t need you to make coffee for me,” Sasuke hissed. 

 

Naruto just stared at him. “Don’t be fucking rude. I’m gonna buy you some coffee,” he said. He opened the door and, quite literally, pushed Sasuke inside. 

 

“I don’t really want-” Sasuke tried to say. 

 

“Shut up, Sasuke. I’m buying you coffee,” Naruto insisted. Sasuke sighed, but chose not to fight back. Naruto lead him up to the counter. Sasuke was very surprised to find Rock Lee standing there, smiling at them both. 

 

“Naruto, why do you always come in on your days off?” Lee was asking, even though he was still smiling. 

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Nothing better to do. But this time, I’m just bringing Sasuke for coffee,” he said, gesturing to Sasuke. Sasuke wished that Naruto wouldn’t bring so much attention to them. 

 

“I can see that,” Lee said. Then he turned to Sasuke, and smiled again. “Hello, Sasuke! It has been a while!” he said happily. 

 

Sasuke forced himself to smile back. Lee was annoying and kind of dumb, but other than that, Sasuke had nothing against him. “Hey. Yeah, it has,” he said softly. 

 

“Anyway, what can I get for you?” Lee was asking. Sasuke was glad he didn’t try to further any kind of small talk. 

 

Naruto spoke before even asking Sasuke. “I’ll have a large mocha cappuccino with a double shot of espresso and extra sugar. And Sasuke- how do you like your coffee, Sasuke?” he asked, turning to Sasuke. 

 

“Black,” Sasuke said simply. 

 

“Okay, edgelord,” Naruto responded. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “And a large black coffee for Edgelord over here.” 

 

“Real mature, Naruto,” Sasuke murmured. Naruto just seemed to ignore him. 

 

“I will have that out for you soon!” Lee promised. He gave them the total, but Naruto was a lot faster with his wallet than Sasuke was. He paid for both of them before Sasuke really realized it. 

 

They were waiting on their drinks when Sasuke finally said, “You know, I can pay for myself.” 

 

Naruto just shrugged. “It’s alright. Besides, you only just got back to work. I doubt you’ve even gotten a paycheck yet,” he said. 

 

“I don’t need a paycheck when you always tip extra,” Sasuke murmured. “Why do you do that, anyway?” 

 

Naruto shrugged again. “I like to show my appreciation when I get good service. And your service is the best I’ve ever received,” he said with a wink. 

 

Sasuke had to look away as soon as he saw Naruto wink at him. What was any of that supposed to mean? Why did Naruto treat Sasuke the way he did, when he’d always seemed to resent him in high school? Things weren’t adding up, and Sasuke hated that. 

 

“I have one for Naruto and one for, uh… Edgelord? Who the- oh my god, it's Sasuke!” The girl making the coffee exclaimed. When Sasuke looked up at who was serving him coffee, he recognized the brown buns on her head. This was Tenten, one of Lee's best friends. He didn't know much about her other than that, but she sure seemed to know him. 

 

Still, Sasuke forced himself to smile softly. “Tenten, hi,” he said. 

 

Tenten was smiling at him. Sasuke never understood why people he barely knew were being so nice to him. He didn’t deserve all that. “What are you doing back here? I thought you were studying in Oto! And now you’re hanging around with Naruto, and Lee just wrote ‘Edgelord’ on your cup, here. Why’d you do that, Lee?” she was asking, leaning over to look at Lee. Sasuke was impressed by her ability to switch topics so easily and talk for a long time. 

 

Lee was joining the conversation again, since there were no customers in line. “That is what Naruto told me to write, so I listened to him. Not because I think Sasuke’s an edgelord or anything, I-I just-” Lee was saying. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly. “It’s okay, Lee. I know it’s all Naruto’s fault,” he said, turning a glare towards Naruto. 

 

“Well, how was I supposed to know that Lee would be dumb enough to write ‘Edgelord’ on your cup? And if anything, it’s Tenten’s fault, since she recognized that the cup that said ‘Edgelord’ would be your cup, Sasuke!” Naruto protested. 

 

Sasuke could tell that both Lee and Tenten were about to fight what Naruto had said. Sasuke just sighed rather loudly and said, “Guys, it’s not that deep. Can I just have my coffee now?” 

 

Tenten nodded and gave him his cup. “Yeah, of course. Sorry about that. Have a great day, you guys!” she called out. 

 

Naruto and Sasuke both smiled before they finally moved to sit down at a table in the shop. Sasuke was finding it so hard to believe that all these people he had completely disregarded in high school were turning into his friends. This was the best he'd felt in a long time. 

 

Sasuke quietly sipped his coffee. He wasn't sure exactly sure if he should say something or not, or even what to say. So he just sat quietly and waited for Naruto to make the small talk. Except Naruto never did, and so they just had to sit there awkwardly. 

 

Sasuke was very uncomfortable with the silence, so he decided to break it. “Can I ask you something?” he asked. 

 

Naruto looked up at him. “Uh, go for it,” he said. 

 

“Why are you doing this?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Naruto raised an eyebrow. “What kind of a question is that? Do you think you could be any less cryptic?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Why did you ask me to come with you today?” 

 

Naruto’s face was blank for a moment, but then he finally smiled. “Well, that’s easy. You’re my friend, and I wanted to spend time with you outside of your workplace,” he said. 

 

_ We’re friends? No one told me about this…  _ Sasuke thought. He decided not to voice his thoughts, though. He just sighed and looked down at his cup of coffee. “Well, don’t you have other friends? Like, why does it have to be me?” he asked. 

 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Well, I spend time with my other friends a lot. But I’m not best friends with you yet, so I’m going to spend as much time with you until we are,” he explained. 

 

“Who ever said I wanted to be best friends with you?” Sasuke said bitterly. 

 

Naruto just chuckled. Sasuke glared at him. “Well, you did text back really fast today, you know? It kinda made me think that you wanted to be best friends with me, too,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked out the window next to their table. “Don’t go thinking you’re special. I really just wanted to get out of the house,” he said. 

 

“Why’s that?” 

 

Sasuke froze at the intruding question. He had two options: a) he could spill his backstory and emotional baggage to Naruto over coffee and pretend everything was okay or b) he could just lie his way through, like he had been doing with nearly everyone these days. 

 

Option B was looking really good right now. 

 

“I don’t have school anymore right now, so I don’t really have anywhere to go except for work. It’s getting pretty boring,” Sasuke lied. Good. He couldn’t tell Naruto about Itachi and everything going on right now. They weren’t even that close yet. 

 

Naruto sipped his coffee. “That’s right; you’re out of school. Why is that? Now seems like a really strange time for a break,” he pointed out. 

 

Everything inside of Sasuke was screaming at him to just  _ tell the fucking truth  _ and finally be honest with someone. But when he opened his mouth, it was only more lies that spilled out. He should’ve felt bad. “An administrator died in the middle of the year. It was really unexpected so the headmasters freaked out and sent all the students on a temporary leave for a month. Don’t get attached, because I won’t be here in another three weeks,” Sasuke explained. 

 

Naruto was frowning. “Okay, that sucks,” he said. “We’re still gonna be best friends by the time you leave me again for Oto.” He paused. “Speaking of, how is your schooling going?” 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Pretty well,” he lied. “I’m studying law.” 

 

“Ooh, law. Sounds hard.” 

 

“It’s not.” 

 

“Well, good for you.” 

 

One of these days, Sasuke was just going to have to be completely honest with everyone. He was lying to a lot of people lately, and it was all going to fall to shit in a matter of  three weeks. Still, he couldn’t bring himself to tell  _ anyone  _ the truth. Everyone close to him would just end up hating him for why he wasn’t in school. And if they could get past that, they’d just hate him for lying for so long. Either way, everyone was going to hate Sasuke and he was going to be miserable forever. 

 

“Sas? You good?” 

 

Naruto’s voice brought Sasuke out of his little trance and made him look up. “Huh?” 

 

Naruto smiled softly. But if Sasuke wasn’t crazy, then there was a bit of sympathy behind those blue eyes. “You zoned out. And you looked pretty upset while doing it. Is something going on?” he asked. 

 

Why was everyone able to read Sasuke so well? It really frustrated him. “I’m fine,” Sasuke hissed. Before Naruto could say anything, Sasuke lifted his cup and downed the rest of his coffee. 

 

“You really don’t look very fine,” Naruto said. “You can talk to me if you need to.” 

 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Sasuke hissed. Hadn’t he just been over this in his own head? 

 

“I won’t pressure you into anything, but just know that I’m here. Y’know if you ever change your mind,” Naruto said. He looked and sounded really sincere. It almost made Sasuke want to just fucking spill. 

 

Sasuke tried to hide behind the coffee cup by taking a sip, but when he pressed the cup to his lips, he found that the cup was empty. Well, there goes his brilliant plan… 

 

“Are you just going to send me home after this?” Sasuke asked. He only asked because he wanted to know if he had to mentally prepare himself to be home alone and ignored by Itachi. 

 

Naruto’s face fell. “Did you want to go home after this?” he asked. He sounded kind of sad. 

 

Sasuke set the cup back down. “Not particularly. You have anymore fun places to take me?” he asked. 

 

Naruto raised an eyebrow. “Well, I dunno about ‘fun,’ but we could go back to my apartment and watch TV for a while,” he suggested. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly. “That sounds like plenty of fun to me,” he said. 

 

Naruto was giving Sasuke a confused look. “If that’s what you’re saying is fun, then your life must pretty much suck,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed and let his smile fall. “You have no idea,” he said. 

 

Naruto was silent for a moment. “Wow, you’re depressing. Let’s go to my house before you bum me out forever,” he said, rising from his seat. Sasuke said nothing and did the same. 

 

For some reason, Rock Lee gave Sasuke a hug when Naruto went to tell him they were leaving. Sasuke wasn’t sure why. Again, they weren’t really friends. Sasuke had been too surprised to hug him back or anything. 

 

He walked with Naruto to his house. He was surprised to discover that it was pretty close to his own house. Meaning that he could probably just walk over when shit with Itachi was getting too bad. They spent the rest of the day at Naruto’s house, just watching TV and talking about trivial subjects. It was a nice change from everything that had been going on for Sasuke recently. Naruto made instant ramen for dinner. Sasuke didn’t eat very much of it, but he tried, at least. He just had no appetite these days. 

 

At around 11 o’clock, Naruto finally turned to Sasuke. “It’s getting kinda late, y’know? Maybe you should head home,” he said. Sasuke must have looked disappointed, because Naruto’s face fell and he said, “N-not that I don’t want you here anymore; it’s just getting pretty late. Unless you wanted to have a sleepover or something.” 

 

It wasn’t hard to tell that Naruto didn’t really want to have a sleepover. At this point, Sasuke would rather go home to where Itachi ignored him than stay and jeopardize his friendship with Naruto. Because Sasuke was now starting to realize that he did need friends. 

 

Sasuke forced himself to yawn, so he at least looked tired. He wasn’t actually tried at all. “No, it’s fine. I’m tired anyway,” he said, standing up from the couch. 

 

Naruto stayed seated. “I had fun today. We should hang out again sometime,” he said. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly and looked back towards Naruto on the couch. “Yeah, I agree,” he said. “Well, see you later, I guess.” He opened the door of the apartment. 

 

Naruto smiled and waved back at him. “Later, Sas,” he said. Sasuke said nothing else and left Naruto’s house. 

 

It was only when he was walking back to his own house that he realized that he was alone again. And Sasuke hated being alone. 


	10. It's Not Healthy

Sasuke managed to get through the weekend somehow and went back to work on Monday. He found himself actually looking forward to it. He didn’t mind some of the people he worked with, and it would be a lot better than being alone. 

 

He managed to get about halfway through his shift when he started to get dizzy. He didn’t know why, but he figured it would pass eventually. So he just kept working, along with all the pain and dizziness in his head. 

 

His hands were shaking and his whole body was in a cold sweat. It was the middle of the dinner rush now, and Sasuke’s vision was starting to go blurry. He was confused as to what was going on, but he decided not to do anything about it. 

 

Until he went to his next table to take their orders. It was Kakashi, Gai, and Yamato, and they were all sitting on the same side of the table again. As he approached them, his dizziness was getting even worse. He could barely see, and when he went to greet them, he couldn’t hear his own voice. Everything went black for a moment, and he heard something crash to the floor. 

 

Gasps came from all around the restaurant. When Sasuke finally got his vision back, he realized that the crash and thud he’d heard had been from his own body. Because he was laying on the floor now, and Gai was kneeling above him. “Sasuke? Are you okay?” 

 

Sasuke's head was really hurting. “Uh, I don't know?” he groaned. “What just happened?” 

 

Gai looked really concerned, which just made Sasuke feel confused. “You just passed out. Tell me, how do you feel?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke groaned again and sat up. Gai moved back to give Sasuke some space. “Uh… bad? I don’t know; my head hurts,” he said. 

 

“Did you hit it when you fell?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“Can you stand up?” 

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

“I’ll help you,” Gai offered. He was moving so he was putting his arm under Sasuke’s on and hoisting him up to his feet. Then, he sat Sasuke back down on the other side of the booth, so he was sitting across from a very worried Kakashi. 

 

Sasuke put his elbows on the table and rested his head in his hands. He hoped it would stop some of the pain he was feeling. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder and it wasn’t Gai’s. Looking up, he discovered Konan standing next to him. “Jesus, Sasuke, are you alright?” she asked. 

 

“I’ll be fine,” Sasuke said. He was probably lying. 

 

Konan sighed. “Alright. Well, I’ll go tell Itachi what happened so you can head home,” she said. Then she turned to Gai, Kakashi, and Yamato. “I’ll get you guys some drinks while I’m at it.” 

 

“No!” Sasuke cried out. He moved his hands and was looking up at Konan urgently. She looked shocked. “Please don’t tell Itachi! I’ll be fine to work the rest of my shift; just please don’t tell Itachi!” 

 

“Sasuke, don’t be ridiculous. I have to tell him. I am not letting you work the rest of your shift. Just go home and take it easy,” Konan insisted. “Besides, don’t you think Itachi would want to know that his baby brother just fainted?” 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked away. “You know he won’t. He’ll just be even angrier at me if he finds out about this. That or he just won’t care and not send me home. It’s just not worth it,” he said. 

 

Konan paused. “You don’t know that,” she said softly. 

 

“I do. Just don’t bother him,” Sasuke advised. 

 

She smoothed the hair out of Sasuke’s eyes. “Fine. Just because I care about you. But I’ll look after your section until you wanna get up again, if you do. You can sit the rest of your shift out if you want to,” she said. 

 

“Thank you,” Sasuke said. 

 

Konan just nodded and walked away. That was when Sasuke finally realized that there were others sitting at his table. All three were staring at Sasuke intently. That was when Sasuke realized that they had all heard what he’d said to Konan, and were probably wondering about it.  _ Fuck. I said too much. Now I’m gonna get questions,  _ Sasuke thought. He sighed and put his head back in his hands. 

 

“Hey, Sasuke?” It was Kakashi who had spoken. Sasuke looked up to find that his teacher was looking incredibly worried. Mentally, Sasuke was kicking himself. “What the hell is going on between you and Itachi?” 

 

Sasuke knew that was coming. He knew that the guy who had raised Sasuke and Itachi for two years would be concerned about that. Especially when they had always been such close siblings. There was just no way that Sasuke could look Kakashi in the eyes and tell him that he’d managed to make Itachi hate him. “I-I don’t want to talk about it,” he finally said. 

 

Kakashi looked like he wanted to say something more, but Gai just nudged his shoulder. “Don’t bother him, Kakashi. If he doesn’t want to talk about it, then don’t make him. Especially not right now,” he said. Kakashi sighed, but nodded. Gai turned back to Sasuke. “What we need to figure out is why you just fainted. Do you have any idea?” 

 

“I don't know. I just got really lightheaded and then I could barely see, and then I was on the ground. That's all I know,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Have you eaten anything today?” Yamato asked. Sasuke thought it was strange, since he barely knew this guy. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Uh… I don't think so,” he said. What he didn't mention was that he hadn't eaten in like three days. 

 

Kakashi and Gai both looked over at Yamato. “That's probably it. He needs to eat something,” Yamato advised. 

 

Sasuke put his head down on the table. “I'm not very hungry,” he said. 

 

It was then that Konan approached the table with a tray of four glasses of water. She distributed them out; she even gave one to Sasuke. Sasuke glanced up at her with a confused look. “Here. Drink up. It’ll make you feel better,” she said. She turned back to Kakashi, Yamato, and Gai, and asked, “Now, can I get you guys something to eat?” 

 

Each of them told her what they wanted, then Konan asked if that was all. That was when Kakashi turned to Sasuke and said, “Get something, Sasuke.” 

 

Sasuke looked back up at him and raised an eyebrow. “I told you I wasn't hungry,” he said. 

 

“I don't care. Get something to eat. I'll pay,” Kakashi said. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. “No, you don't have to. I'll be fine,” he said. 

 

Kakashi was glaring at Sasuke. But Konan spoke before either of them could say anything more. “Okay, well I'll put this in, and then I can come back if you decide that you do want something,” she said. She was leaving again. 

 

Gai nudged Kakashi’s shoulder again. “It’ll be fine, Kakashi. We can share with him,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed and put his head down on the table. He supposed it would be useless to tell these guys that he didn't want their food. 

 

He just kept staring at the surface of the table. He decided not to look up, and his teachers must have realized that he wasn’t going to say anything, so they didn’t either. The only reason Sasuke looked up again was when he heard his name. 

 

“Sasuke? So you’ll sit with these geezers but you won’t sit with me?” 

 

Sasuke looked up and found Naruto standing next to the table he sat at. He didn’t have the chance to say anything, though. “Naruto, what are you doing here?” Kakashi asked and smiled up at the other man. 

 

Naruto smiled back at him. “Getting dinner, just like the rest of you. You see, Sasuke’s my usual waiter and every time I come here, I ask if he wants to sit with me. He always says no, but now he’s sitting with you guys,” he said. 

 

“Idiot, I wouldn’t be sitting here if I had a choice,” Sasuke hissed, glaring up at Naruto. 

 

Naruto just stared at him. “What does that mean?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked down at the table. He didn’t feel like explaining and having Naruto get all worried about him. He hated having all this attention. “Why don’t you sit with us and we’ll talk?” Kakashi invited, gesturing to the space next to Sasuke. 

 

“Okay.” Naruto was shoving Sasuke so he wasn’t in the middle of the booth and he sat down beside him. “What’s going on, Sas? You, uh, you don’t look so good,” he said. Sasuke could tell that Naruto was staring intently at him. 

 

Sasuke groaned and put his head down on the table. He didn’t want to explain. So he let Kakashi do all the talking, as usual. “Well, stupid over here just fainted because he won’t eat anything. And he won’t order anything, even after I offered to pay,” he explained. Sasuke just decided to disregard the fact that Kakashi called him stupid. 

 

Naruto’s hand was on his back suddenly, but Sasuke still didn’t look up. “Jesus, Sasuke, you need to take care of yourself,” he said. Sasuke just grunted in reply. “How are you feeling?” Naruto added. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. He still wouldn’t look up. “Bad,” he decided to say. 

 

“I’ll buy you some ramen. It’ll make you feel better,” Naruto offered. He extended his arm so it was fully extended around his shoulders. Sasuke didn’t have the energy to shrug it off. 

 

“I’m not hungry. How many times do I have to tell you guys?” Sasuke hissed. 

 

Naruto was about to say something. He was always about to say something. But someone else’s voice spoke up first. “Ah, sorry if I didn’t wait for you. No one said anything about expecting someone else,” Konan said. She had approached the table again, and was talking to Naruto. “Can I get you something?” 

 

Before Naruto could speak, Sasuke glanced at her without lifting his head. “He’ll have ramen with the barbequed pork and a Mountain Dew,” he said. He wasn’t exactly sure why he had just ordered for Naruto, but he wasn’t exactly in his right mind at the moment. 

 

Konan smirked. “Is that what he wants, or what you want?” she asked. 

 

“It’s what he wants. He gets the same thing every time,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Then what do you want?” Konan asked. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Nothing. I’m not hungry,” he said. 

 

“You won’t make it home if you don’t eat anything. And no one’s gonna be there to pick you up when you faint on the dark side walk,” Konan said darkly. 

 

“Good. Maybe I’ll die,” Sasuke muttered. 

 

Konan sighed. “Sometimes I worry about you, Sasuke. But I’ll leave you alone for now. You know if you change your mind-” 

 

“I’ll call you over and order some food. But it won’t happen, so don’t get your hopes up,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“I’ll have your food right out for you, sir,” Konan said to Naruto. She shot one last glare at Sasuke before she walked back off to the kitchen. 

 

Suddenly, Naruto was shoving his face against Sasuke’s. Sasuke yelped softly and tried to get away from Naruto’s iron grip on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Sasuke! I’ll walk you home after work!” he said. 

 

Sasuke still struggled to get away from Naruto. However, Naruto was a lot stronger and he absolutely would not let up his grip on Sasuke’s body. “Don’t you dare. And please let go of me,” Sasuke grumbled. 

 

Fortunately, Naruto let go of Sasuke. Sasuke scooted to the other side of the booth so that he was pressed up against the wall. He still wasn’t feeling well, so he put his head down on the table again. At least Naruto wasn’t clinging to his body for dear life anymore. He didn’t pay attention to what was going on anymore. Since then, the teachers had just started to talk to Naruto; asking him about school and all that. They seemed to have the idea that Sasuke didn’t want to talk anymore, so they kindly left him alone. 

 

Very shortly, Konan was bringing out the food for all the teachers and Naruto. She distributed them all out to everyone at the table. “Enjoy your meals,” she said. She then turned to Sasuke. “Sasuke-” 

 

“I don’t want anything. Please stop asking,” Sasuke insisted. 

 

“I’m only trying to help,” Konan said. Sasuke didn’t respond. “Anyway, enjoy your meals, guys.” She finally left. 

 

Sasuke didn’t pay very much attention to what was going on at the table now. Everyone had their food. But honestly, the idea of eating anything just made him feel a little sick. No one seemed to understand that about him. 

 

Naruto especially did not seem to understand that. Because he was wrapping a clump of ramen noodles around his chopsticks and immediately shoved them in Sasuke’s face. “Open up, Sasuke!” he said happily. 

 

Sasuke tried to move away from Naruto, but he was already pushed into the corner. “Even if I wanted your food, I sure as hell wouldn’t let you feed me!” he cried out. He could hear chuckles coming from all of his teachers on the other side of the table. 

 

“Too bad. Now open up!” Naruto ordered. 

 

“I said-” Sasuke couldn’t finish what he was saying, because Naruto shoved his noodles in his mouth as soon as he’d opened it to speak. Sasuke nearly choked. 

 

Very reluctantly, Sasuke chewed and swallowed the noodles. Naruto was just smiling as he removed his chopsticks from Sasuke’s mouth. He glared at Naruto. “Don’t you ever do that again,” he growled through gritted teeth. 

 

“If you won’t take care of yourself, then someone’s got to. Why can’t it be me?” Naruto asked. 

 

“I don’t need taking care of. And I don’t want your food,” Sasuke hissed. 

 

“Fine then. More for me,” Naruto said, scooping noodles into his mouth. It was honestly an adventure just to watch him eat. 

 

It wasn’t long before they had all finished their meals. Kakashi had paid for everyone, and tipped both Konan and Sasuke. (“Why? All I did was pass out in front of you” “Shh, just take the money Sasuke”) Once Konan had returned to the table to return Kakashi’s card, she turned to Sasuke and said, “You can go ahead and go home. Your section’s been cleared and you need to go rest,” she advised. Sasuke wasn’t about to argue. 

 

Sasuke had gotten hugs from literally everyone at the table. They all walked outside together. Before Sasuke could turn and walk towards his house, Kakashi, Gai, and Yamato all grabbed him in a tight group hug. “Please take care of yourself, Sasuke,” Kakashi murmured. Sasuke didn’t know how to feel. 

 

They were on their way before Sasuke could say or do anything. Actually, if he was being honest, as soon as he’d stood up, his head had started to feel light again. He felt like he was gonna pass out again. He just hadn’t said anything to his teachers because he knew they’d all collectively kick his ass if he had. “Sasuke? You look pretty pale. Er, paler than normal, you know?” Naruto said. 

 

“I feel dizzy,” Sasuke finally said. 

 

“Shit.” Naruto was putting his arm around Sasuke’s waist and helping him walk to the other side of the restaurant. “Uh… what if you just sat down for a little while? Okay, and then you can go home when you’re feeling better,” he suggested. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. If he sat down outside the restaurant, then someone was bound to come out and find out. If he was even that unlucky, it could even be Itachi. “No. I have to go home,” he insisted. Still, he knew he’d never make it there by himself. He took a deep breath before continuing, “Please just- god, this is so lame- help me home.” 

 

Fortunately, Naruto didn’t take him up on the obvious chance to laugh at him. “Okay. It’s okay, I’ll walk with you,” he said. He took Sasuke’s hand that was closest to his body and put it around his neck. This way, Sasuke was completely relying on Naruto. “I don’t know where you live, though, so you’ll have to help me.” 

 

“It’s not too far,” Sasuke said. “Just go straight for a little while. I’ll tell you when to turn.” 

 

They didn’t talk at all on the way there, with the exception of Sasuke directing him where to go. It was mostly because Sasuke was feeling too weak to say much else. It was honestly pathetic. When they got up to Sasuke’s floor and were outside of his apartment, his hand shook as he put the key in the lock and opened the door. “I’ll come put you down on the couch,” Naruto said. 

 

But Sasuke couldn’t help but think of how Itachi wouldn’t want to see him when he did come home. “No. Please take me to my room,” he requested. “It’s the first door on the right when you get to the hallway.” 

 

Naruto seemed confused at the request, but obeyed it nevertheless. He got to Sasuke’s room, didn’t even turn on the light, and literally lifted Sasuke up to put him on the bed. Sasuke wasn’t feeling well enough to think anything of it. “Stay here. I’m gonna get you something to eat and some water,” he said. 

 

“You don’t know where my food is,” Sasuke said. 

 

“I’ll figure it out. Just sit back and I’ll take care of you,” Naruto said. Before Sasuke could say anything, Naruto was leaving his room. He saw him turn on the light in the kitchen. 

 

Naruto returned shortly after with a glass of water and a sleeve of Ritz crackers. “Here,” he said, setting down the glass of water on his nightstand, then handed the crackers to Sasuke. Sasuke took it with shaky hands. “Now, I’m not leaving until you eat at least three of these. Go ahead,” he said, sitting on the foot of his bed. 

 

“No, you need to go,” Sasuke urged. He didn’t know what to do if Itachi came home while Naruto was still here. 

 

Naruto was persistent, though. “Nope. Eat three crackers, and I’ll leave. I’m not leaving before,” he insisted. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “No, please. You have to go. If my brother comes home and you’re still here-” he started. 

 

“I will personally fight your brother if I have to. I’m trying to take care of you, Sasuke,” Naruto said. “Please eat these.” 

 

Hesitantly, Sasuke opened the sleeve of crackers. Naruto was watching intently as he ate the first cracker. He reached out for his glass of water. But his hands were shaking so badly when he took a sip that he ended up spilling some on himself. “Whoa,” Naruto said, grabbing the bottom of the glass and steadying it. “Now drink.” Sasuke took a sip. 

 

“I don’t need your help,” Sasuke insisted. Still, he let Naruto set the cup back down. He ate another one of his crackers. 

 

“Yes, you do. I’m just looking out for you,” Naruto insisted. Sasuke rolled his eyes and ate the third and final Ritz cracker. “How many crackers was that?” 

 

Sasuke waited until he finished swallowing the cracker. “Three. So you can go now,” he said. 

 

“Eat another.”    
  


“Three was the deal.” 

 

“You’re not healthy, Sasuke. I’m just looking out for you, man,” Naruto insisted. 

 

Sasuke didn’t break off eye contact as he ate another cracker. “I am literally begging you to go home now,” he said. 

 

Naruto sighed. “And I will,” he said. But he didn’t leave before he grabbed another cracker, and literally shoved it in Sasuke’s mouth. Sasuke almost choked again. Naruto smiled. “Just being safe.” 

 

Sasuke swallowed the cracker and glared at Naruto again. “Fuck you,” he said. 

 

“I’m going to leave now. Will you be alright?” Naruto asked. 

 

Sasuke sighed and let his previous anger pass. “I’ll be fine,” he said. Naruto nodded and turned to leave. “Wait, Naruto.” Naruto stopped and turned to face him. Sasuke swallowed the lump in his throat and quickly said, “Thank you. I probably would’ve passed out on the sidewalk if you hadn’t been there.” 

 

Naruto smiled. “It’s no problem. That’s what friends are for, you know? But I’ll get going before your brother beats my ass. See you tomorrow, Sas,” he said. Sasuke smiled softly as he watched his friend leave. 

 

Naruto reappeared in the the doorway after only a moment with a goofy smile on his face. “I almost forgot: do you know what I like in a guy?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked. 

 

“My dick.” Naruto winked, and then he was gone. Sasuke even heard the front door close this time. 

 

Sasuke was still sitting on his bed, his eyes wide. He just sat still and literally screamed for a moment. 


	11. Invitation

When Sasuke got up the next morning, he decided he was tired of spending literally all of his mornings alone in his dark bedroom. He was really tired of having to pretend Itachi wasn’t in the kitchen when he made his morning coffee. So he decided that he would go out this morning. To Naruto’s coffee shop. He really hoped this wasn’t the one day Naruto didn’t have work. 

 

Sasuke got dressed and didn’t even bother to try and fix his hair before he was slipping on some shoes and walking out. Itachi was sitting at the kitchen counter, but hadn’t said anything. Sasuke didn’t know why he expected anything else. 

 

It was lucky that Sasuke remembered the way to Naruto’s coffee shop. It wasn’t very far from his house at all, and he still had hours before he had to go into work. So he could take as much time as he wanted. 

 

The doorbell jingled when he walked into the coffee shop. It was still relatively empty, despite it being eight o’clock. So that was how Naruto looked up from the counter, and then the biggest and goofiest smile engulfed his face. “Sasuke!” he cried out, nearly tripping over Lee to get to the counter. 

 

Sasuke pretended like he wasn’t embarrassed as he walked up to the counter. Naruto was still smiling at him. It was a little pathetic. “Sasuke! And you said you’d never visit me at work!” he exclaimed. 

 

“You should lower your voice. You’re causing a scene,” Sasuke advised. 

 

Naruto’s smile dropped. “You’re always so boring, Sasuke. You’re my best friend; I’m happy to see you,” he said. “Anyway can I get you something?” 

 

Sasuke couldn’t focus on what Naruto was asking anymore.  _ You’re my best friend.  _ Sasuke had never been anyone’s best friend before. People always seemed to like him for some reason, but they still never seemed to talk to him or find out anything about him. But here was Naruto: spending time with him, being happy to be around him, actually talking to him. It made Sasuke feel… really  _ good.  _

 

“Uh, Earth to Sasuke? Come on, buddy, I have a job to do,” Naruto was saying. Sasuke blinked and was brought back to reality. Naruto smiled softly at him. “You just zoned out again. Do you do that a lot? You tend to do that a lot,” he said. 

 

“Sorry. I was just… thinking,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“That’s okay. Can I get you something?” Naruto repeated. 

 

“Uh… large black coffee, please,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto was narrowing his eyes again. “Is that it?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“No, it’s not.” 

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“Have you eaten anything today, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. 

 

Sasuke nearly groaned. He should have known this was coming after yesterday at work. “Well… no. But I-” he began. 

 

Naruto glared at him. “Don’t lie, Sasuke. I know you haven’t eaten anything and you’re not going to. So I’m going to give you a free doughnut because you’re my friend and I care about you,” he said. Sasuke rolled his eyes. 

 

He just watched as Naruto grabbed a large cup and wrote something on the cup. “Naruto, I can make that,” Lee was offering, coming from nowhere, it seemed. He reached out to grab the cup. 

 

Naruto smacked Lee’s hand away. “No, you can’t!” he said. Lee looked confused. “I’m making this one.” 

 

Lee looked up at Sasuke, then at the name on the cup. He smiled at Naruto. “Oh, I understand. Go ahead and make that then, Naruto!” he called out. Then he turned to Sasuke, still smiling, and said, “Hello, Sasuke! It is good to see you again!” 

 

Sasuke smiled and said hi, but he was still watching Naruto make the coffee. What the hell had Lee been talking about? It really confused him. 

 

Naruto was making the coffee, and it wasn’t long before he was giving the cup to Sasuke. “Here you go!” he said. “Have a- oh shit, I forgot your free doughnut.” 

 

“Naruto, I don’t need a free doughnut,” Sasuke said. “Besides, can’t you get fired for that?” 

 

Naruto grinned widely. “Well, it’s not really free. I’m paying for it,” he said. 

 

Sasuke’s face fell. “Naruto, you don’t have to,” he said. 

 

Naruto’s smile immediately dropped and he stared at Sasuke. “You have to. I’m not taking you back home when you faint at work again,” he said, then handed a brown paper bag to Sasuke. 

 

“No one said I had to eat it,” Sasuke grumbled. 

 

Naruto stared at him with such an intensity. He didn’t even break off eye contact with Sasuke when he shouted, “Lee, I need you to work double time for a little while!” Lee didn’t say anything, but that didn’t stop Naruto from leaving from behind the counter. He grabbed Sasuke’s shoulder and literally dragged him over to a table. “Sit down. I am going to sit in front of you and literally watch while you eat that doughnut,” he said, sitting down on one side. Sasuke felt like he had no choice but to sit down and eat the damned doughnut. 

 

Sasuke forced himself to eat the doughnut, mostly for the sake of his friend. Naruto watched him the whole time, which was a little unsettling. So Sasuke was left just drinking his coffee while Naruto sat with him. “Don't you have to get back to work now?” he asked. 

 

Naruto shrugged. He looked behind him. Lee was clearly managing the slow flow of people that came into the coffee shop. “Well, technically yes, but I did want to ask you something before you left. Are you doing anything next weekend?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke was secretly very thankful that Naruto was giving him weekend plans. “No. Why?” he asked. 

 

“Do you remember Kiba from school?” Naruto asked. Sasuke nodded. “His mom’s going out of town for the weekend so he's having a party on Saturday night. I figured it might be a little more fun for me if you were there with me.” 

 

“Would Kiba even be okay with me coming?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Naruto scoffed, and smirked. “Well, Kiba didn't even invite _ me.  _ I just found out from Lee, but I'm going. He won't turn you away or anything, trust me,” he insisted. 

 

The idea of a party sounded dull, and one at Kiba’s house sounded even worse. Sasuke wasn't really friends with Kiba, so why should he go? But still, he wanted to avoid being at home on weekends if at all possible. That was the reason why he just sighed and said, “Alright. I'll go.” 

 

Naruto smiled. “Perfect. It'll be fun!” he exclaimed. “Anyway, I should get back to work now. I'll see you later, Sasuke!” 

 

As he stood up, his foot just have gotten caught on the leg of the chair and he tripped when he tried to walk back behind the counter. Sasuke gasped as Naruto fell to the floor. “Naruto, are you alright?” he asked. 

 

Naruto was sitting on the floor, looking more shaken up than anything. He was still able to smile up at Sasuke and say, “I'm fine. I'm just falling for you, babe!” 

 

Naruto was going back to work before Sasuke could ask any questions. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it's been a while since I last updated this. I've just been pretty busy with school and such, so hopefully I'll get back to posting more regularly. Thanks again for all the support, though! :)


	12. Kiba's Party

Sasuke wasn’t sure how he got to be sitting on the floor of Kiba Inuzuka’s kitchen, but here he was with an empty red solo cup laying next to him. 

Recapping the whole night, he remembered Naruto dragging him to a party. Naruto himself hadn’t been invited, anyway. But Kiba had let them in and shoved a cup in each of their hands. Sasuke didn’t want to be here anyway, so he just drank up, even though he’d finished the cup and still hadn’t known what he was drinking. 

The taste of tequila, the stench of weed, and the loud sounds of drunk people and blasting music were all going through Sasuke’s head at the same time. The lights blurred and his head began to spin. He wanted to go find Naruto, but he somehow ended up with another cup in his hand. Well, when in Rome… 

In the course of like an hour, he’d gotten into an argument with Neji Hyuga, then punched Kankuro in the face, then rubbed Kiba’s back while he threw up into a trash can. He was now sitting on a couch between Neji and a sleeping Shikamaru. For once, Neji wasn’t arguing with anyone, so Sasuke had this time to sit and think about what was going on. 

He and Naruto had showed up late to this party because Sasuke had taken a little bit of time at his house to tell Itachi he was going out and probably not coming home that night. Itachi had just grunted and said, “Goodbye.” Sasuke had to take a few moments to fight back tears in the hallway before he’d left and went to Naruto. 

That was just a bitter reminder that Itachi still hated him, and no matter what Sasuke did, he would never forgive him. Sasuke looked into his cup, but there was nothing left to drink. Sighing, Sasuke threw the cup across the room and sighed. This party blows. Kiba could be getting me a new drink if he wasn’t so busy throwing up, Sasuke thought bitterly. Then I wouldn’t feel so bad right now. 

“What’s your problem, Sasuke?” Neji was asking, turning a glare towards Sasuke. Of course Neji had noticed. Neji, who got overly confrontational when he drank. 

Sasuke scoffed, but smiled smiled softly. “Do you want a fucking list?” he answered. 

Looking back at Neji, he just seemed really pissed for no apparent reason. As if enough people didn’t already hate Sasuke… “No. Not everybody worships you enough to want to listen to your fucking sob story. Grow up, Sasuke,” Neji hissed. 

Sasuke bit his lip and looked away. “Nice talking to you,” he said, finally standing up. He didn’t know where he was going, but maybe he could enjoy the company of someone who wasn’t so angry. 

“Where are you going?” Neji asked. He still sounded angry. Sasuke was really confused. 

Sasuke shrugged. “I think I’m gonna find Naruto,” he said. Before Neji could say anything else, Sasuke was walking away. His feet found him walking towards the kitchen. He kept looking out for messy blond hair and… wait, what color shirt was Naruto wearing? Sasuke couldn’t even remember. 

The kitchen was empty. Sasuke grabbed a cup, poured something in it, poured something else in it, then took a sip. A long sip. He ended up finishing his drink in record time, then waiting for the wave of dizziness to pass. It didn’t pass, so Sasuke just sat down on the kitchen floor, hoping that his head would calm a little. 

While he waited for the dizziness to pass, he found himself thinking about Itachi’s attitude, Neji’s bitterness, and Naruto’s disappearance. Itachi was going to be angry for a while, and Neji always got like this when he drank. But Naruto was the whole reason that Sasuke was here, so shouldn’t he be here to tell Sasuke that he actually enjoyed his presence? Because now Sasuke was sitting on the floor of the kitchen and feeling like everyone hated him. 

He supposed it should have just been a matter of time before someone walked in, but he still wasn’t expecting it when he heard approaching footsteps. Looking up from the floor, Sasuke recognized Sai, a friend of Naruto and Sakura’s. He worked at the coffee shop with Naruto, but Sasuke didn’t really know him very well. He just knew that Sai also got in an argument with Neji tonight, and was taking pictures when Kiba threw up. 

“Sasuke? What are you doing in here?” Sai asked. His words didn’t stop him from continuing into the kitchen and going over to the lines of bottles. He was opening one and pouring more of the liquor into his cup. 

Sasuke didn’t have an answer. But Sai was the only person that Sasuke felt like he could talk to right now, despite their lack of friendship. “Can I ask you something, Sai?” he asked. 

“I would prefer that you didn’t, but I feel like you’re going to ask me anyway,” Sai said bluntly. 

Sai’s words didn’t make much of an impact on Sasuke. In fact, Sasuke was barely listening to a word that the other had said. “Do you hate me?” he asked, sniffling. 

Sai turned towards Sasuke and finally looked at him. He had his phone clutched in his hand. “Are you crying?” 

“Please just answer my question,” Sasuke begged. 

Sai bit his lip to think. “I don’t know you very well. I’ve pretty much forgotten every interaction we’ve ever shared. But Naruto seems to like you, so maybe you should ask him,” he said. 

Sasuke’s eyes were watering. He didn’t know why. “Naruto’s not here. Naruto hates me. He was supposed to be my friend, but then he just ditched me and now I can’t find him anywhere!” Sasuke wailed. He didn’t know when he had started crying. But he pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them. 

Sai was holding his phone like he was taking a picture. But that was ridiculous: why would he be taking a picture of Sasuke crying on Kiba’s kitchen floor? “I don’t know. You should find him,” Sai said. He started to walk out of the kitchen. 

“Wait, don’t go! Where are you going? I wanted to talk to you!” Sasuke wailed out. But it didn’t matter, because Sai was gone, and Sasuke was left crying on Kiba’s kitchen floor. 

All he wanted was to see Naruto. But he hadn’t seen Naruto in a very long time, so Sasuke was just convinced that Naruto didn’t want to be anywhere near him. And as Sasuke was left alone on the kitchen floor, he started to realize that Naruto had a point. 

Sasuke was still crying by the time he heard more footsteps approaching the kitchen. Looking up, it was someone he was surprised to see was even at this party. It was this kid called Gaara; he had gone to school in Suna, but still made close contacts with the kids in Konoha. Maybe that was why he was at a university here. But he was the next one approaching the kitchen, and Sasuke didn’t care about his lack of a relationship with this guy, either. 

Still, he waited for Gaara to notice him first. But apparently, it was pretty hard to miss the drunk guy crying on the kitchen floor. Gaara was stopping dead in his tracks to stare at Sasuke. “Um… Sasuke? You okay down there, buddy?” he asked. He sounded so unbelievably awkward. 

Sasuke sniffled and shook his head. “Can I ask you something?” he asked softly. 

Gaara’s eyes were turning sympathetic. “Sure. What’s on your mind?” he asked. Sasuke found it hard to believe how nice this guy was being. 

“Gaara, do you hate me?” Sasuke asked bluntly. 

Gaara looked a little confused. “Uh… no? Why would I?” 

Sasuke sniffled and hugged his knees to his chest a little bit tighter. “I don’t know; everyone else seems to really hate me,” he whimpered. 

Gaara looked kind of uncomfortable. “What does that mean?” he asked, taking a sip from his cup. 

“Can you sit with me? Because Naruto’s gone and I don’t know what to do,” Sasuke murmured. 

“Actually, I should really-” Gaara started to say. 

Sasuke looked away. “It’s fine if you don’t want to. I don’t know why you would want to talk to me when nobody else does. I’m not worth anybody’s time,” he said sadly, burying his face in his knees. 

Gaara was letting out a loud sigh, then sitting down on the kitchen floor next to Sasuke. “I’ll stay,” he mumbled. 

Sasuke sniffled again and wiped his eyes. “Thank you. Because I really hate being alone but I always have to be alone because everybody around me always seems to end up hating me,” he sobbed. 

Gaara didn’t even say anything, but Sasuke kept crying. Something about this other guy’s quiet and calm demeanor was making him keep talking. “My brother’s always been there for me ever since our parents died, but ever since I came back from Oto, all I’ve done is make him really mad and now he hates me! Like, he never even talks to me anymore but he’s the only person ever around me and now he fucking hates me! And I was supposed to be here with Naruto tonight, but now he’s not here with me because he hates me, too!” he wailed. 

All Gaara did was sigh and drink what was in his cup, but Sasuke didn’t mind. At least Sasuke had somebody to talk to. But by now he wasn’t sure what to talk about, so he just looked over into Gaara’s cup. “Can I have some? What’s in there?” Sasuke asked, looking up at the other man. 

“All the liquor’s right over there. If you want some, then go get it,” Gaara said, gesturing towards the rows of bottles of alcohol on the counter. 

Sasuke looked away again. He didn’t want to get up. He blinked, and more tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Gaara sighed again and handed his cup to Sasuke. Sasuke pressed it to his lips and took enough of a sip to finish the drink in the cup. He still handed the empty cup back to Gaara. Gaara looked in it and sighed. However, the sound was barely audible because as soon as Sasuke had given the cup back, he let out a wail and slammed his head back against the wall. 

Gaara’s eyes widened. “Sasuke, what the fuck?” he asked. 

Sasuke wasn’t paying attention, because he was gripping his head in his hands. “Why am I such a terrible person? Everyone should hate me! I should just kill myself now and get it over with!” he shouted. 

There was a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “Calm down. Not everyone hates you,” Gaara said. 

“But it feels like everyone does,” Sasuke protested. 

From somewhere outside the kitchen, someone was shouting, “Where the fuck is Sasuke?” 

Sasuke lifted his head and moved his hands. “See, look, someone’s looking for you. That means they probably don’t hate you,” Gaara said. “You should go see who it is.” 

He wiped his eyes again. “W-what if they do hate me, and they’re looking for me so they can yell at me or something? Besides… I-I can’t go out there and have everybody see me crying. Then they’ll really hate me,” Sasuke said, looking over at Gaara. 

Gaara sighed, then shoved Sasuke. “Stop sulking! Nobody hates you! Go make friends or some shit!” he shouted. 

“Please don’t yell at me,” Sasuke whimpered. 

Suddenly, Naruto was bursting into the kitchen. “Sasuke, there you are! Everyone’s looking for you! Wait, why are you crying?” he asked. He walked further into the kitchen and knelt down in front of Sasuke. “Don’t cry, Sasuke.” 

Sasuke sniffled and looked away. “Who’s looking for me? And why?” he asked. 

Naruto’s hand was on his face, then brushed his tears away. Sasuke’s eyes widened. What was Naruto doing? “It’s gonna sound stupid, but Ino decided we were all gonna play spin the bottle, but then she decided that we weren’t playing if you weren’t there,” he said. 

“I’m not playing,” Sasuke immediately decided. 

“No, it’ll be fun. I promise,” Naruto said. 

It wasn’t like Sasuke could put up more of a fight. Naruto was taking his hand and literally pulling him to his feet. “Wow, you’re lighter than I thought you’d be. But come on! Don’t stay here sulking!” he said. 

Sasuke sniffled. “Does this mean you don’t hate me?” he asked shyly. 

“Why the hell would I hate you?” Naruto asked. Sasuke suddenly felt a whole lot better. 

Sure enough, on the floor of Kiba’s living room was a circle of people. There was Ino, at the head of it all, who was sitting next to Sakura, even though she looked completely distracted. There was also Neji, openly complaining; Lee, hugging Neji’s waist; Shikamaru, sleeping on Choji’s shoulder; Choji, being slept on; and Sai, with his phone in his hand. There were others in the room, but they weren’t involved in the circle. “This is dumb, Naruto, you’ve already got a lot of people. And all of these people are dating, then there’s you, me, and Sai,” Sasuke protested. 

“I could get more single people,” Naruto offered. 

“Sasuke, you’re here! Whoa, you’ve been crying,” Ino said, holding out her hand towards Sasuke and Naruto. 

“This is a stupid game,” Sasuke said. Even still, he let Naruto tug him down to the floor. 

“Okay, so you all know what to do, right? Someone spins the bottle, then has to kiss whoever it lands on,” Ino explained, even though no one here was stupid and everyone knew how to play spin the bottle. “Cool, I’ll start.” 

Ino reached out and gave the empty beer bottle a spin. Sasuke watched it spin around until it finally landed on Neji. Neji just looked really unhappy when he turned towards Ino. Ino just smiled. “Well, Neji, I guess since I have a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend, they’ll both just get jealous and we shouldn’t kiss,” she said. 

Neji let out a sigh of relief. Still, Sasuke couldn’t help but be confused. Because Ino was dating Sakura, Neji was dating Lee, and Shikamaru was dating Choji, and that was the whole circle, besides Naruto and Sasuke. And Sai was there, but he was really just taking pictures. So if those two were the only single ones, then what even was the purpose of playing this game? 

Neji was spinning the bottle before Sasuke could call Ino out on her bullshit. Fortunately for him, it landed on Lee. Neji turned to his boyfriend, who just smiled. Then his fingers were running through Neji’s hair until he finally pulled the other in for a kiss. Except it wasn’t just a little peck, of course, and so Sasuke had to just sit there uncomfortably and watch Lee and Neji make out. 

It was Ino who finally had to reach over and grab Neji’s shoulder. She had to literally pull him back to break them apart. “You know it’s only one kiss, right? And that doesn’t mean one kiss that takes like an hour,” she hissed. 

Neji crossed his arms over his chest and resumed his resting bitch face. He certainly didn’t look like someone who just spent a solid two minutes kissing his boyfriend. “Whatever. Just spin the bottle, Lee,” Neji said. 

Lee reached out and spun the bottle. This time, it landed on Sakura. Sakura, who wasn’t paying attention at all. Still, Lee just shrugged and said, “Sorry, Sakura! I cannot kiss you, but you are still a wonderful person!” He gave her a thumbs-up. 

A few moments passed and Sakura still hadn’t spun the bottle. Ino looked over at her. “Sakura, aren’t you going to spin the bottle?” she asked. 

Sakura turned and rested her head on Ino’s shoulder. “Nothing is real, Ino!” she exclaimed. Sasuke figured he should be at least slightly concerned, but nobody else seemed to share the same sentiment. 

Ino just chuckled and put her hand on Sakura’s head. “I’ll just spin for you,” she decided, pressing a kiss to the top of Sakura’s head. She reached out and spun the bottle. It went around a few times before it landed on Shikamaru. 

Sasuke wasn’t paying attention, but someone must have woken Shikamaru. Because now he was awake. He looked at Sakura and yawned. Then he reached out and spun the bottle, though he still really looked really tired. This time, though, it landed on Sasuke. 

Sasuke wasn’t entirely sure what would happen. But now he was regretting ever sitting down in this circle. He and Shikamaru weren’t even really friends, so how was Sasuke supposed to kiss someone like that? Especially since he had never been kissed before. How was he supposed to waste his first kiss on Shikamaru? 

“Relax, Sasuke, I’m not gonna kiss you. I have a boyfriend, and I don’t even really like you very much,” Shikamaru was saying, bringing Sasuke out of his trance. 

“Then what’s the point of this game if no one’s gonna even kiss each other?” Sasuke finally asked. He was still really confused. 

Everyone looked towards Ino. Everyone must have just known that it was all her idea. Ino just smiled and shrugged. “You’ll all find out in due time,” she said. 

Way to be cryptic, Ino, Sasuke thought. “Spin the bottle, Sasuke,” someone was saying. Sasuke just wasn’t sure who. 

“You guys are playing spin the bottle without me?” Sasuke turned around to find a very wasted Kankuro standing behind them. He had a beer in his hand and a tissue shoved up his nose from when somebody had punched him earlier. Also he had Gaara with him, even though he looked like he really didn’t want to be there. No one liked Kankuro once he got some alcohol in him. 

Ino sighed. “I guess I’d be the rude one if I turned you away,” she said. 

It could not have been more evident that no one wanted Kankuro to play spin the bottle with them. Even Ino clearly didn’t want Kankuro there. Sasuke barely knew Kankuro and the last thing he wanted was for him to possibly have the chance to kiss him. And Kankuro was single, too, so they couldn’t just opt out of it. 

Still, Kankuro was shoving Naruto and Sasuke apart so both he and Gaara could sit between them. So now Sasuke was stuck sitting between Kankuro and Lee, and he was very uncomfortable. 

Ino just bit her lip, then looked back towards Sasuke. “Okay, you can spin the bottle now, Sasuke,” she said. 

Sasuke’s hand shook as he reached out to touch the bottle. He spun it. The whole time, he just kept hoping it would land on someone whose significant other was also in the circle. Sasuke really did not want to waste his first kiss at a party like this while his head was spinning from all the alcohol. Finally, it began to slow down, and Sasuke almost closed his eyes. Not Naruto, not Kankuro, please not Naruto or Kankuro. 

Well, it wasn’t Kankuro. 

Sasuke opened his eyes. The bottle had landed on Naruto. He looked at Ino, who was smiling for some reason. “Can I say no?” he asked. 

Ino’s smile only widened. “No, Sasuke. You’re single; Naruto’s single; you have no reason not to,” she insisted. Sasuke must have been blushing, and it must have been really bad. Still, all Ino said was, “Move, Kankuro!” 

Kankuro grumbled something, but he still scooted a foot or so back. Sasuke could feel his heart beating so fast that it was about to explode. Naruto was looking at him, but Naruto didn’t seem nearly as nervous as Sasuke was. Was Sasuke’s first kiss really about to be… Naruto?? 

Sasuke stayed completely still. But Naruto was moving closer to him. It was Naruto who finally had to be the one who closed the gap and gently kissed Sasuke’s lips. 

It was over as soon as it started. Still… Naruto’s lips were soft and gentle. It had only lasted a second, but it still left Sasuke secretly hoping for more. 

From the other side of the circle, Ino was calling out, “Guys, that’s not good enough! Use your tongue, Naruto!” 

Sasuke’s eyes widened at her words. But Naruto just shrugged and grabbed Sasuke’s face. He was caressing Sasuke’s cheek and Sasuke wanted to die. He kissed him again. But this time, it wasn’t over quickly at all. Naruto was pressing his tongue to the seam of Sasuke’s lips. He gently pushed his tongue inside Sasuke’s mouth. 

This kiss was so slow and tender and Sasuke couldn’t even think about his nerves anymore. All he was thinking about was Naruto’s lips, Naruto’s tongue, Naruto. 

Naruto was shifting his position so he was on his knees. One of his hands was on Sasuke’s shoulder and he pushed the other man back until he was laying on the floor. Naruto broke the kiss off for only a moment, then he went back to kissing Sasuke, but with his chest against Sasuke’s. Sasuke never wanted it to end. 

But it did, since Neji was very loudly saying, “Whatever happened to the one kiss rule, Ino?” The sound of his voice caused Naruto to finally break off their kiss. Sasuke only realized that Naruto had done all that while their friends were watching. 

Ino just shrugged. “Calm down, Neji. That first kiss wasn’t good enough, so they had to try again,” she explained. 

Neji rolled his eyes. “So I only get one kiss with my boyfriend, but these guys get to practically fuck on the floor? They’re not even dating!” he argued. 

Ino fixed a glare on Neji. “Don’t you dare ruin this for me, Neji,” she warned. 

“Ruin what?” Neji asked. 

Sasuke pushed Naruto off of him and sat up. “I don’t want to play this anymore,” he said. 

Ino started to look a little upset, and Sasuke almost felt bad. But Shikamaru was yawning and adding, “Yeah, this is a total drag. I just wanna sleep.” 

“Not to mention it’s unfair,” Neji added with his arms crossed. 

Ino rolled her eyes, then crossed her arms as well. “Fine. You guys are lame. Go if you want to; I don’t really care,” she said, even though it was quite evident that she cared. 

Sasuke was the first to stand up. “I’m getting another drink,” he decided. 

Neji stood up as well. “Me too,” he said. 

Shikamaru had fallen back asleep on Choji’s shoulder. Sasuke was already turning back to go to the kitchen. Neji was following him, but Sasuke didn’t pay attention to that. 

The two didn’t talk to each other. After all, they didn’t really like each other that much. They each poured their individual drinks. It took Sasuke more time to choose what exactly to drink, since there were so many options. So Neji left the kitchen first, but Sasuke was still only a few steps after him. 

Sasuke had to watch as Neji crossed the room and sat directly on Lee’s lap, who was stretched out across the couch. He looked to a different part of the room, where Sakura was laying with her head in Ino’s lap. Also on the floor, was Shikamaru still sleeping on Choji’s shoulder. And just a few feet in front of Sasuke, was Naruto sitting on the floor, talking and laughing loudly at Sai. He paid no attention to Sasuke whatsoever. It was like he had forgotten everything that had just happened. 

Sasuke needed to leave. He needed to be away from Naruto. He had never been to Kiba’s house, so he had no idea where to go to be alone. That was what lead him to going outside, even though it was cold. He sat down on the curb, and rested his head in his hands. All he was thinking about was that stupid kiss. 

Before he knew it, he was crying. Going to this party had been such a stupid idea. It was seeming like Sasuke's life was just one big mistake after another.


	13. The Day After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a filler chapter, but the plot will be moving along better next chapter. Thanks for reading :)

Sasuke was woken up by someone shaking his shoulder. He was really cold and uncomfortable. Where was he? “C’mon, Sasuke, get up.” 

 

The voice he heard sounded incredibly tired and familiar. Sasuke finally opened his eyes and looked towards the voice. It was Kiba, and the sun was rising over the rooftops of the other houses around. Why was Sasuke outside? Why did Kiba have to wake him up? And why did his head hurt so badly? 

 

“What’s going on?” Sasuke groaned, sitting up. He was on the sidewalk. Strange. 

 

Kiba held his hand out to Sasuke. He took it and stood up, despite the awful pounding in his head. “You passed out on the sidewalk. No one noticed until now, though. Still, you’d better hope none of my neighbors saw one of my friends drunk and passed out on the sidewalk. My mom will kick my ass,” he grumbled. He sounded really annoyed. 

 

Sasuke had to press his hand against his aching forehead. He was having a hard time remembering last night. Suddenly, Kiba’s hand was on his shoulder, and he was tugging him towards the house. “You are super hungover. Come inside,” he said. All Sasuke could do was nod and follow him inside. 

 

The house was dead silent, surprisingly. Once Sasuke entered the living room, he discovered that everyone was asleep. Neji was sprawled out on the couch, but Lee was on top of him with his face buried in Neji’s chest. Ino was passed out in the chair in the corner with Sakura hunched over and sleeping on her lap. And right in the middle of the floor was Sai, asleep on his stomach, but with Naruto laying on top of him. 

 

At the sight, Sasuke felt a wave of jealousy. And that was what helped jog Sasuke’s memory of the night before. 

 

Sasuke and Naruto had kissed last night. And Sasuke loved every second of it. 

 

“Uh, you don’t look so good,” Kiba whispered suddenly. Sasuke just stared at him blankly. Kiba bit his lip and continued to stare. “Do you wanna go back to sleep or something?” Sasuke figured that if he slept for a little while longer, that he’d forget about his stupid feelings. Then maybe he’d feel better physically, too. “Uh, okay. I’ll take you upstairs so you can have a bed, I guess,” Kiba decided. He was gesturing to Sasuke to follow him as he approached the staircase. 

 

Kiba lead him to the first closed door they found. Sasuke wasn’t paying very much attention, but the room was pitch black and Sasuke was suddenly longing the soft touch of a bed. “Okay, you can sleep in here for a few hours,” he said. 

 

Sasuke was about to utter his thanks, when he heard a noise from inside the room. “Huh?” 

 

Both Kiba and Sasuke turned towards the room, and the sleepy head that was lifting from the bed. Sasuke supposed that he shouldn’t have been surprised to see that it was Shikamaru. “Shikamaru? What are you doing in here?” Kiba asked. 

 

“Sleeping,” Shikamaru said bluntly. 

 

He was suddenly joined by another voice. “Who’s that, Shikamaru?” When Sasuke looked again, he could see Choji laying next to Shikamaru in the bed. Sasuke was really confused, but not surprised. 

 

Kiba sighed. He seemed too tired to fight. “Sorry, guys. I’ll leave you alone,” he said. He didn’t give either of them the chance to respond before he closed the door. “Right, you can sleep in my mom’s room,” he added, heading to the opposite side of the hallway. 

 

He opened the door and Sasuke nearly ran towards the bed. “I’ll wake you up in a couple hours before my mom gets home. You will have to leave then,” Kiba said. 

 

Sasuke just grunted in response and flopped down on the bed. All he wanted was to sleep. He was vaguely aware of Kiba shutting the door, because he was curling up under the covers and easing into sleep. 


	14. It's Official

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter we've all been waiting for.

After that party, Sasuke had promised himself that he would never get that drunk again. He had an awful headache for the rest of the day after he had to stumble home alone. And he had just made so many mistakes that he regretted so deeply. 

 

The biggest mistake was by far that kiss with Naruto. Still, he hadn’t been able to text Naruto. Naruto hadn’t texted him, either. They probably both never wanted to see each other again. Sasuke figured he’d have to be okay with that. 

 

Sasuke went into work the following Monday with only a slight headache. He was disappointed that he probably wouldn’t see Naruto today, but he forced himself to suppress all of his emotions. All that mattered right now was his work and memorizing these orders. Naruto did not matter. 

 

Sasuke had gotten through most of his day without getting too upset. He didn’t see anyone that he really knew or liked, so his day was just pretty average. Until the crowd thinned out and at the end of the dinner rush, a familiar blond head walked in and sat down in Sasuke’s section. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened so much that they could possibly fall out of his head. Naruto wasn’t supposed to be here. And if he was here, then he wasn’t supposed to be in Sasuke’s section. Honestly, Sasuke didn’t really want to talk to Naruto. He couldn’t even look at him without thinking about kissing him, and that was a problem. Sasuke may or may not have really liked kissing Naruto, and seeing him would only bring back those forbidden emotions. 

 

“What’s your problem, Sasuke? There’s a guy in your section and you look like you’ve just seen a ghost,” Hidan pointed out. It was that time of night when all the servers stood huddled near the window, looking out at the dining room, and praying that not another soul dared to enter the doors of the restaurant. That still didn’t explain why Hidan was getting on Sasuke’s case, though. 

 

Sasuke took a deep breath and turned towards his coworker. “I’ll literally give you all of the tips I’ve collected today if you go be his waiter,” he said. What could he say? Sasuke was desperate. 

 

Hidan looked so confused. “What  _ is  _ your problem? I am not looking after your one customer so that you can go home early,” he hissed. 

 

“I don’t care about going home early. I just don’t want to wait on  _ him,”  _ Sasuke urged. 

 

Hidan rolled his eyes. “We all have to deal with people we don’t like. That’s just real life, sweetie. Go take his order before he gets angry and we lose money,” he said, and shoved Sasuke out to the exit of the kitchen. 

 

Sasuke took a deep breath before he approached Naruto’s table. He didn’t want to talk to Naruto; he didn’t want to even see him. This was just going to be so awkward. He stopped and Naruto still hadn’t noticed his presence. “Can I help you?” Sasuke asked. 

 

When Naruto looked up at him, he just smiled. “Hi, Sasuke!” he exclaimed. “Yeah, I wanna order.” 

 

_ So far, so good. Just don’t mention the kiss…  _ Sasuke thought. “Ramen with barbequed pork and a Mountain Dew,” Sasuke said, writing it all down without even looking at Naruto for confirmation. 

 

Naruto was still smiling when Sasuke looked back up. “I love that you've memorized my order,” he said. 

 

Sasuke paid no attention to the connotation behind his words. That wasn't important. “I'll have it right out for you,” he said, putting his little notebook away before leaving for the kitchen without another word. 

 

He was getting looks from all of the waiters, probably because he had made such a big deal out of this. “Call me crazy, Sasuke, but isn't that the same guy you gave your number to last week?” Hidan was asking. Sasuke shot a glare over at him as he got a cup for Naruto's drink. 

 

“And the guy who walked you home after you passed out last week, too?” Konan added suddenly. 

 

Sasuke was getting too many questions. He didn't want to tell any of these people about his problems with Naruto. Honestly, he didn't trust a single one of them. “Stay out of my business,” he said quietly. 

 

“You usually look really happy to see him. What happened between you guys?” Konan asked. 

 

“Well, something happened. Something I won't tell you guys about,” Sasuke said. He had finished filling the drink and was about ready to take it out to Naruto. 

 

“Oh my god, you had sex with that guy!” Hidan’s words almost made Sasuke drop Naruto's drink. 

 

He glared back at Hidan.  _ “No,”  _ he growled. “Stop guessing, because I won't tell you.” 

 

He picked the drink back up and started to walk out of the kitchen. Behind him, he heard Hidan say, “Yo, he totally had sex had with that guy.” 

 

Deidara’s voice was calling out, “Stop being intrusive, hm!” Sasuke just rolled his eyes and went out to the dining room. 

 

He set Naruto's cup down on the table. “There. Your food will be out eventually,” he said. He turned to leave again. 

 

“Wait, Sasuke!” Sasuke froze and turned back around. “Can we talk?” Now, Naruto wasn't smiling anymore. He was just staring at Sasuke, intensely. 

 

Sasuke sighed. He had a feeling he knew what Naruto wanted to talk about. And he did  _ not  _ want to talk about that. “I'm working right now,” he said. 

 

Naruto looked around. “There's hardly anyone here. No one will mind if you take a little break,” he said. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. “My brother will kick my ass. I don't need that,” he said. He didn't let Naruto speak again before he turned around and went back to the kitchen. 

 

He didn't even have time to stand there at the window because Itachi was shouting out, “Sasuke! Hurry the fuck up!” 

 

Naruto's bowl of ramen was the dish that came out, and Sasuke had to turn around and take back out to the dining room. He brought it to Naruto's table. Naruto seemed surprised to find Sasuke there so soon. “Whoa, that didn't take long,” he commented. 

 

“Yeah? It's because we all wanna go home,” Sasuke hissed. “If you could eat this quickly, that would be greatly appreciated.” 

 

Naruto winked at Sasuke. “Anything for you, babe,” he said. Sasuke pretended he wasn't blushing. He was opening his chopsticks and beginning to eat even before Sasuke had left. Still, Sasuke was walking back to the kitchen and blushing horribly. 

 

It wasn't too long before Naruto was finishing. He was the last one in Sasuke’s section, and Sasuke was looking forward to when Naruto had left and Sasuke could go home. 

 

Sasuke brought Naruto his receipt after he had finished and forced himself to smile. “Have a good night,” he said. 

 

Naruto looked like he wanted to say something, but all he did was nod and stand up. “I'll see you tomorrow, then,” he said. He was gone before Sasuke could say anything else. Not that he would have wanted to, though. 

 

Sasuke sighed deeply and walked back to the kitchen. “Sasuke, is your section all clear?” Konan was asking. Sasuke just nodded. “Cool. Come Hidan, let’s go home,” she said, turning towards the other man. The three of them walked out of the kitchen after calling their goodbyes over their shoulders. Kisame just smiled at them as they passed through. Konan went her way, leaving Sasuke and Hidan to unfortunately walk off in the same direction. It would be okay, though, because Sasuke had full intentions on ignoring Hidan. 

 

But as Sasuke turned the corner to head in the direction of his home, he was tackled by an unknown figure. The other’s arms were around his waist and he was forcing his mouth against his lips. From the other direction, Hidan was calling out his name. But these lips felt nice and familiar. That could only mean one thing… 

 

When Sasuke finally pushed himself away from the unknown man, he recognized the shiny blue eyes and messy blond hair. He was speechless in the wake of Naruto’s surprise kiss. His hypothesis had been correct. 

 

All Sasuke could do was stand completely still and stare hopelessly at Naruto. He almost forgot that his coworker was nearby and had probably thought that Sasuke was getting attacked. Hidan only made his presence known when he finally said, “Oh, it’s him. I knew you guys fucked or something.” 

 

Hidan’s annoying voice finally brought Sasuke out of his daze. He snapped his head in the direction of his coworker, who just had this shit eating grin on his face. “Go home, Hidan,” he barked. He didn’t want to deal with any of his annoying coworkers at the moment. 

 

Hidan was walking away and still smiling at them. He yelled something suggestive at Naruto and Sasuke, but Sasuke chose to completely disregard it and turn back to Naruto. Naruto had an unmistakable smirk on his face, but Sasuke wasn’t sure why. “Uh… mind if I ask who the hell that was? And what exactly he thinks he knows?” 

 

Sasuke groaned and made sure that Hidan was at least across the street. He was, and he appeared to be heading home. “It’s just my obnoxious coworker. He-he always seems to notice when you say, uh… certain things to me. At this point, he’s convinced we’re having sex, and that stunt you just pulled sure isn’t helping anything. Which leads me to my next point,” Sasuke paused for a moment and stared Naruto down. “What the hell was that?” 

 

Naruto smiled sheepishly. It wasn’t normal to see him look sort of nervous at all, which just confused Sasuke. “Remember how you brought me my drink and I said I wanted to talk?” he began. Sasuke nodded. “Yeah, it has something to do with what I wanted to talk about.” 

 

Sasuke’s heart was pounding. He knew where this was going. “Does it have something to do with what happened at Kiba’s party?” he asked. 

 

“Bingo.” Sasuke sighed and looked down. Now that that was out of the way, he really  _ didn’t  _ know where this was going. “So… I get that this is awkward, but I just need to fucking say it because I’ve been thinking it for a very long time. I, in no way, shape, or form, regret that kiss. I know we were both pretty close to wasted, but I remember it clearly and I don’t regret a thing,” Naruto said. 

 

Sasuke gasped softly and just stared at Naruto with wide eyes. Naruto wasn’t supposed to say that. He was supposed to say that he didn’t have those kinds of feelings for Sasuke and then probably leave him here in the dark. But now that things had gone completely opposite… Sasuke had no idea how to respond. 

 

He was staring at nothing again, and so Naruto had to wave his hand in front of his face. “Sasuke? You there? C’mon, man, I’m dying over here,” he said. 

 

Sasuke took a deep breath and blinked a few times as he remembered the situation. “Sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to say that,” he said. “Um… I was really scared that you were going to say something quite different. And so I tried to avoid you for a while, because I think I feel the same way about you. There has to be a reason my heart pounds every time you even look at me, and I think this is it.” 

 

Naruto was smiling. He looked far happier than Sasuke had ever anticipated from him. “Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” he asked. 

 

“No! Please don’t make me repeat all that again. I-I’m just not good at this sort of thing…” Sasuke was saying nervously. Why did Naruto make him so nervous all of a sudden? 

 

“Aw, Sasuke!” Naruto was crying out. He wrapped his arms around Sasuke’s waist and pulled him in close for another hug. Sasuke was far too stunned to do anything. “I can’t believe you’re actually reciprocating my feelings! I always thought you were far too good!” 

 

Sasuke’s eyes narrowed and he pushed himself away from Naruto. “What does that mean?” 

 

Naruto shrugged. “Y’know how all the girls would chase after you in school? And how you always got the best grades? And how everybody, even the teachers and parents, just seemed to adore you even though you’d push them all away? Yeah, I saw all that. And maybe in high school, I had a tiny crush on you, despite all the competition. But look at me now! I’m the only one that could get Sasuke Uchiha wrapped around his finger!” he cried out. 

 

“Lower your voice, dumbass,” Sasuke hissed. “But, yeah, you’re the only one I care about. Even though I never even noticed you in high school.” 

 

Naruto just shrugged happily. “You know what, that’s perfectly okay, as long as I’ve got your full attention now,” he said. 

 

“You’ve got my attention. Now what will you do with it?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Naruto’s smile faded and he suddenly got a lot more serious. He was gripping Sasuke’s body and turning him around so he could push Sasuke against the wall. It was a bit strange, but Sasuke wasn’t exactly complaining. “I’m gonna love you like nobody ever has,” he swore. Then he, very roughly, kissed Sasuke. Sasuke made sure to kiss back this time. 

 

Just like when they were drunk, Naruto was shoving his tongue between Sasuke’s lips and into his mouth. Sasuke groaned softly around it. It was all so much better right now. Sasuke kissed Naruto so eagerly. He was sure now that Naruto was everything he hadn’t even known he was looking for. 

 

Naruto was breaking off the kiss a little too soon for Sasuke’s liking. But he just forced himself to remember that maybe this all meant that he would be able to kiss Naruto all he wanted from now on. He couldn’t help but just stare at Naruto, even in the dark light of the street, and smile softly. 

 

“You zoning out on me again, Sas?” Naruto was asking. 

 

Sasuke blinked and looked away for a moment. “You know you’re the only person to ever love me like that? The first one to ever even kiss me?” he said. 

 

Naruto’s eyes widened a bit. “You’re kidding,” he said. Sasuke shook his head. “Does that mean you’re a virgin, too?” 

 

Sasuke glared at him. “That’s really intrusive, Naruto,” he warned. 

 

Naruto held up his hands.“Right, sorry. Anyway, how the hell did someone as gorgeous as you make it to twenty without even being kissed? Dude… everyone was all over you… but I was your first kiss?” 

 

“What can I say? I’m pretty hard to get,” Sasuke joked, smiling again. 

 

It was worth it when Naruto laughed. “All I can say is that I’m so glad I got you,” he said. Sasuke laughed a little, too. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but he was aware that he and Naruto were in a very public location and very close to the people he worked with everyday. But he almost didn’t realize it until he saw Itachi walk by. His eyes widened, but mostly because he knew that Itachi had seen. Itachi was staring over at Sasuke, making direct eye contact, too. But all he did was scoff. Naruto even turned at the sound. He only got a glare from Itachi before he continued down the sidewalk. Sasuke didn’t know how to feel, but he was a bit upset. 

 

Naruto turned back to Sasuke. “Was that your brother?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. “I’m sorry. But what’s his problem?” 

 

Sasuke sighed. “It’s a long story. And I know you’ve got time, but I don’t want to talk about it. I just want you to kiss me again, maybe walk me home and tell me everything will be alright,” he said sadly. 

 

Naruto’s hand was caressing his face. Sasuke didn’t think he had ever been touched so gently in his life. Naruto smiled softly before he leaned in and kissed Sasuke again. And oh, Sasuke loved it. This one was much gentler and less frantic, but still good. He did break off, but only so he could whisper, “Everything is okay, Sas. I’m here for you,” before he leaned him and kissed him again. 

 

Eventually when the amazement of finally being able to kiss each other freely had worn off, Naruto took a step back. “Now, you said you wanted me to walk you home, right? Because I can do that,” he said, holding out his hand. Sasuke took it and smiled. 

 

There was nothing quite like this feeling of loving and being loved. 


	15. Coffee Dates

Sasuke chose to go to the coffee shop again the next morning. The more time out of the house, the better. The more time spent with Naruto, the better. 

 

The door chimed as Sasuke walked through it and into the coffee shop. This coffee shop never seemed to be very busy any of the times that Sasuke had come in, and today was no exception. That meant that Naruto looked up and noticed when Sasuke was walking in. He smiled really wide and immediately called out, “Sasuke!” 

 

Sasuke could barely contain his smile. It felt so good to have someone get so excited over seeing him, even if it was just Naruto. He had really been missing out all these years. 

 

He didn’t really have too much time to dwell on it, though, because he heard Tenten’s voice coming from behind the counter next. “God, Naruto, do you have to do that every time he comes in? Like, I know he’s cool, but he’s been here for two weeks. His shiny, new person vibe is starting to wear off,” she said. She then looked over at Sasuke and smiled apologetically. “No offense, though, Sasuke.” 

 

He just smiled and shrugged. “None taken,” he said simply. Honestly, he had always thought Tenten was kind of cool, even though they never talked. She was one of the few girls in school that wasn’t completely devoted to Sasuke. Actually, she never really seemed to even regard him. Sasuke figured out it was because she had come out as a lesbian in her sophomore year of high school. 

 

Naruto was still shoving Tenten a little. “Shut up,” he hissed. Then he turned towards Sasuke and smiled again. “What can I get for you?” 

 

“Just a large black coffee,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto frowned. “Do I really have to buy you a doughnut again?” he warned. 

 

Sasuke’s little smile fell. “I don’t need one. Besides, I haven’t even passed out since that one day, so I’ll be fine,” he said. 

 

Naruto just kept staring at him. Sasuke should have known he’d never give up so easily. He finally just sighed, mostly because he didn’t want to fight with Naruto over something so stupid. “Fine. Get me a doughnut, then,” he added. 

 

Naruto’s smile returned just as quickly as it had disappeared. “Thank you, babe!” he exclaimed. Sasuke pretended he wasn’t blushing at the nickname. 

 

Sasuke paid and stepped aside to wait for his drink. Naruto got his doughnut. He heard Tenten offer to get the coffee, but Naruto shrieked at her until she backed off. It actually took a bit of time for Naruto to finally give him the cup. But it was when Sasuke saw all the little Sharpie doodles that Sasuke realized. 

 

First of all, it didn’t actually have his name on it. The name on it was “Sas-gay,” which had been drawn in bad bubble letters. Then there were little things drawn all over it. There were an overwhelming amount of hearts, but there were a few cats and smiley faces intermingled in between. Honestly, it was adorable. 

 

“What do you think? A masterpiece, you know?” Naruto was saying, and forcing Sasuke to look up. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. “It’s kinda cute. But, uh… ‘Sas- _ gay?’”  _ he asked, raising an eyebrow. 

 

Naruto’s smile turned a little sheepish. “I just couldn’t resist putting that, you know? It’s fitting. But thanks for calling my artwork cute,” he said. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Thanks for the food, though,” he said. He was about to walk away. 

 

“Wait!” Naruto’s voice made him stop. “You are going to eat that doughnut, right?” 

 

“I did buy it,” Sasuke pointed out. 

 

Naruto glanced over at Tenten for a moment, who wasn’t doing anything. “Tenten, cover me for a moment!” he called out. He then jumped over the counter, grabbed Sasuke’s arm and dragged him over to an empty table. He shoved Sasuke, and forced him to sit down. “I’m gonna watch you eat again,” Naruto said, and sat in the other chair. 

 

“It sounds really creepy when you say it like that,” Sasuke pointed out, even though he opened the bag. 

 

Naruto shrugged. “I care about you. Is that so creepy?” 

 

“Depending on how you go about it.” 

 

“Naruto!” 

 

Tenten was interrupting the conversation by yelling across the shop. Naruto sighed deeply before he looked over at his coworker. “What?” 

 

“Get your ass back here before you get yourself fired!” Tenten was calling out. “You know, I’m next in line to be manager and I  _ will  _ fry your ass for constantly going off to sit and have doughnuts with your boyfriend!” 

 

Naruto groaned. “I’ll be there in a second!” he shouted. Sasuke, on the other hand, was still a little shook that Tenten had called him Naruto’s boyfriend. Naruto was turning back to Sasuke, though. “She, uh… she’s not joking. I kind of have to go back to work,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “I knew this would catch up with you sometime,” he said. 

 

“Well, good for you. I guess I’ll see you later, then, babe,” Naruto said, standing up. 

 

“I wasn’t planning on leaving just yet. I don’t like it at home, so I guess I’ll be here a little while longer,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto frowned as he walked backwards towards the counter. “That’s concerning. I’ll have to ask you about that until you tell me. But it’ll have to wait, because of  _ someone _ ,” he decided, shooting an extra glare back at Tenten. 

 

That was when Sasuke realized he had said too much. “Please don’t ask me about that,” he said, taking a sip of his coffee. 

 

“Too late, edgelord, I care about you,” Naruto shouted over the counter. 

 

“Shut up and do your job,” Sasuke hissed. 


	16. Some Secrets Should Stay Secret

Naruto seemed to start coming into the restaurant a lot later than normal. Sasuke supposed this was so he could walk Sasuke home. As cheesy as it was, Sasuke really appreciated it. 

 

The same day, Naruto was walking Sasuke home. As they walked home, Sasuke should have been expecting it when Naruto asked, “Hey, Sas? Can we talk?” 

 

Sasuke knew that this was going to be about what he’d said in the coffee shop this morning. “Depends. What do you wanna talk about?” he said anyway. 

 

Naruto sighed. “Well… this morning, you said something was going on at home to make you not wanna be there. And, well… we’ve got something going here, you know? And I was just wondering if you would talk to me about it,” he said. 

 

Sasuke refused to look at Naruto. “I-I don’t wanna talk about it,” he said. 

 

“Sasuke! Something’s obviously wrong with you and I want to help you! I want you to be happy! I can help you get through whatever’s going on with you!” Naruto insisted. 

 

Finally, Sasuke turned to face him. “You can’t love away all my issues, okay? There’s stuff wrong with me that I can’t even name. You shouldn’t have to deal with all of my stupid issues. I-I just don’t want to be a burden to you,” he admitted. 

 

He didn’t know when Naruto had stopped walking, but soon, there were arms around Sasuke’s waist and he was squeezing him tight. Sasuke’s breath hitched. “You're not a burden. Sasuke, I care about you a lot. Whatever's going on with you, you can tell me about. Y’know, when you're ready,” Naruto whispered. Sasuke could've cried right there. 

 

“I'm not sure I'm ready to tell you just yet,” Sasuke finally admitted. Keeping things from Naruto wasn't sounding like such a good idea anymore. 

 

Naruto spun him around so he was facing him. He pulled him in for a quick kiss. “That's okay. For now, let's just go home,” he said. He took Sasuke's hand and started to walk him home. 


	17. Let's Be Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy birthday, Naruto

Naruto was there at the end of the day again. Once Sasuke had finished his work for the day, Naruto rose up from his seat, took Sasuke's hand and dragged him out the door. Sasuke was shocked by his enthusiasm, but he chose not to say anything. It was only when Naruto dragged him out of the restaurant and down the street in the opposite direction from his house that Sasuke spoke up. 

 

“Naruto, I live in the other direction,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto smiled when he looked back at Sasuke. “I know. I'm not  _ that  _ dumb. I'm taking you somewhere,” he said. “Now pick up the pace, slowpoke!” 

 

“What?” 

 

He stopped for a moment, and so did Sasuke. “Well, I know you said you didn't like being at home. So I'm taking you out so you don't have to go home just yet. You don't have to tell me what’s going on at your house, but I just want to do anything that'll make you feel better,” he said. 

 

All Sasuke could do was stare at him for a moment. No one had ever given that much consideration to his feelings before. He felt like he could've cried right there in front of Naruto. He didn't, though; instead, he just wrapped his arms around Naruto in a tight embrace. 

 

“What are you doing?” Naruto was asking, even though he did hug Sasuke back. 

 

“I just… No one’s ever done anything like that for me before,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto looked a little concerned, even in the dark. But it didn’t last, because soon he was just smiling back at Sasuke. “I told you I was gonna love you like no one ever would. I don’t go back on my word, you know?” he said. Sasuke smiled softly. “Now, come on! I want to go somewhere with you!” He took Sasuke’s hand and started running again. 

 

“Is this supposed to be a date or something?” 

 

Sasuke could see Naruto’s smirk out of the corner of his eye. There was nothing but sheer confidence in Naruto’s voice when he said, “Yes.” Sasuke was glad it was so dark so Naruto couldn’t see the blush on his cheeks. 

 

Sasuke was too shocked to say anything else until Naruto was stopping in front of a small shop and saying, “We’re here.” Sasuke recognized the place; it was a little dumpling shop. He had been here with Itachi countless times when they were younger. Sasuke didn’t have the heart to tell Naruto that he didn’t like dumplings that much. But it was the thought that counts, right? 

 

Naruto lead him to the window and ordered dango for the both of them. Once they had it, they went to sit down, only to discover that they weren’t the only ones that had come here on a date. 

 

Lee and Neji were sitting by themselves at a table and eating their dumplings. Sasuke had been praying that they wouldn’t notice him and Naruto, but Lee’s eyes immediately seemed to find them. He raised his hand up high and waved at them. “Naruto! Sasuke!” he called out. Sasuke wanted to disappear when Neji turned around and scowled at him. 

 

Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s arm and dragged them over to their table. He greeted Lee, and Sasuke just smiled at him. He completely disregarded Neji. “What are you two doing here?” Lee asked. 

 

Naruto exchanged a glance with Sasuke before looking back at the other two. “Same thing you guys are, I guess,” he said with a casual shrug. 

 

“You mean you guys are on a date?” Lee asked. When Naruto nodded, Neji choked on a dumpling. 

 

Naruto turned a glare towards Neji. Meanwhile, Lee had jumped up and was ready to give his boyfriend the Heimlich. Neji just waved him away and coughed into his hand. “You have a problem with that, Neji?” Naruto was growling. “You jealous of me or something?” 

 

Naruto’s comment only seemed to make Neji cough a little harder, but it did make Lee’s eyes widen with sadness. It took Neji a few moments to recover, but when he did, he was glaring at Naruto. “What is there to be jealous of? I don’t want Sasuke. I’m just surprised, that’s all,” he said. 

 

“Surprised about what? You think that only pretty boys like you can get this far with Sasuke?” Naruto hissed. Sasuke had no idea why he was making such a big deal out of this. 

 

Neji rolled his eyes, until he looked over at Lee and saw that he was a little upset. Neji sighed. “I don't care about Sasuke. But I know that he pushes everyone away. I'm just surprised that the one he didn't push away was Naruto,” he said. It seemed like he was talking more to Lee than anyone else, which was odd, since Naruto was the one who started this argument. 

 

“Still sounds like you're jealous,” Naruto mumbled. 

 

Neji was glaring at Naruto now, but he still seemed unaffected by it. “Why would I be jealous? I have everything I could ever want, and that is not Sasuke. Stop being so possessive, Naruto; no one’s trying to steal your boyfriend,” he said. This conversation was making Sasuke uncomfortable, so he shoved a whole dumpling in his mouth. He didn’t know what else to do. 

 

Naruto sighed and looked down. “Shut up, Neji,” he finally said. Then he turned towards Sasuke, and looked a little surprised that he had shoved a whole dumpling in his mouth. “Sasuke, let’s go sit down,” he said. He didn’t even wait for a reply before he was taking Sasuke’s hand and leading him to a different place to sit. 

 

He lead him to a chair and pushed him down into it. “God, that was awkward. I… don’t know what to say,” Naruto said as he sat down across from Sasuke. Sasuke’s mouth was still full, so he shrugged and nodded. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” Naruto asked. Sasuke was still chewing so all he could do was nod. “What ever happened between you and Neji? Like… every time you guys even have to be in the same room as each other, it’s just… I can’t describe it; it’s just weird.” 

 

Sasuke was dreading this question. Because it was weird and he didn’t like to talk about it. He waited until he had chewed and swallowed the dumpling before answering. “Back in high school, we used to  _ talk.  _ Like… probably with the intentions of being more than friends. I always thought he was kind of attractive, so we talked. It was incredibly short lived, because almost as soon as it started, we realized that we couldn’t fucking stand each other. We haven’t really talked since,” he explained. 

 

Naruto was smirking. “That’s really funny,” he said. Sasuke glared at him. “What? You guys are like… the angstiest people I can think of. Of  _ course  _ there was a time you tried to date and of  _ course  _ you just realized that you fucking hate each other. It’s funny, Sasuke,” he said. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and took a bite of his next dumpling. A normal sized bite, this time. “Whatever. It was five years ago,” he said. “And I don’t want to talk about it.” 

 

“Okay, Sasuke,” Naruto said and continued to eat. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t looking at Naruto anymore. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Lee and Neji finally getting up to leave. Fortunately, they left the building without coming over to wish him and Naruto goodbye. Naruto must have noticed, too, because almost as soon as the door closed behind them, he started talking again. “Can I ask you something else?” 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and turned back to Naruto. “What is it now?” he asked. 

 

“Well, uh… you don't have to answer this one if you don't want to, but I was really just wondering what was going on at home. You mentioned you didn't want to be there, but you never told me anything else. You never really tell me anything, and I guess I'm getting a little worried about you, you know?” Naruto explained. 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked away again. He should have known this was the question he was going to get. “Uh, I-I don't know,” he answered shyly. 

 

Naruto shrugged. “It's alright. I mean, I did tell you that you didn't have to answer,” he said and continued to eat. 

 

Sasuke couldn't help the feelings of guilt that were washing over him. This was Naruto; the guy he loved as not only his best friend, but also as much more. Yet he couldn't even tell him one little thing that bothered him so much. Maybe what he needed to do was talk about it with someone, and maybe that someone was Naruto. 

 

But still, even the thought of opening up to Naruto like that made his stomach feel queasy. 

 

He looked down and admitted defeat to himself. “I-I can't tell you that right now,” he said sadly. 

 

“That's okay,” Naruto said. Sasuke couldn't help but notice the tones of disappointment in his voice. 

 

“I'll tell you some other time, okay? I promise,” Sasuke added. He didn't know why he said that when he was having such a problem with actually talking about this stuff. He's have to figure it out eventually, though. 

 

Naruto’s hand was on top of Sasuke's, suddenly. His fingers were wrapping around his hand and Sasuke's eyes widened. “Let’s talk about something else, okay? I brought you here so you wouldn't have to think about it. I'm sorry. How was your day?” he asked instead. 

 

Sasuke just shrugged. “It was alright, I guess,” he said. 

 

Naruto kept staring at him for a while, making him a little uncomfortable. “Yeah, so this is going nowhere. I think I'm just gonna ask you a bunch of questions because sometimes I think I know nothing about you, okay?” he asked. 

 

“Uh, sure,” Sasuke said. He was a little confused. 

 

“What's your favorite color?” 

 

Sasuke was a little confused, but he still answered. “Blue. Dark blue.” 

 

“Favorite movie?” 

 

“Uh… _ Nightmare Before Christmas.”  _

 

Naruto cracked a smile. “Mine’s  _ The Breakfast Club.  _ Or  _ Star Wars.  _ Or  _ White Chicks.  _ I don't know; I have a lot of favorite movies. We should have a movie marathon sometime,” he suggested. Sasuke smiled. “Anyway. what's your zodiac sign?” 

 

“Leo.” 

 

“I'm a Libra. Let me check our comparability later,” Naruto said. “Favorite food?” 

 

“Tomatoes. Or rice balls,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto wrinkled his nose. “Really? Damn, that's boring.” 

 

Sasuke shrugged and smiled softly. “I'm a simple man.” 

 

“Okay, okay. What's your biggest fear?” Naruto asked. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Well, that's deep. Uh… I don't really know,” he lied. He knew what his biggest fear was. He just didn't want to admit to Naruto, or to himself. 

 

Naruto didn't seem to think anything of it, though. “That's fair. Mine would have to be… ghosts. Or demons. Or demon ghosts. Demon ghost zombies. Terrifying stuff right there, Sas,” he said. 

 

Sasuke laughed. Like actually laughed. Naruto’s eyes softened. “Your laugh is adorable,” he said. Sasuke froze and blushed. “Okay, that was weird. So what do you want to do with your life?” 

 

“Uh… I wanted to be a lawyer, I guess,” Sasuke said. 

 

“You don't sound very sure to me,” Naruto pointed out. 

 

Sasuke sighed and any trace of a smile was gone from his face. “That's because I'm really not sure,” he said. Naruto's face fell. “Well, for a long time, all I wanted was to get out of here and go to Oto. I wanted to be a lawyer and have a lot of money so I could have a completely different life. But… being back home and being with you has really made me rethink everything.” 

 

“Are you saying you want to stay in Konoha even after your month leave is over?” Naruto asked. His face was brightening back up again. 

 

“Uh… I don't know,” Sasuke said. “Well… my brother would probably kill me if I suddenly decided to drop out of school. He's sacrificed so much so I could go, so I can't just drop everything because I had a sudden change of heart.” 

 

Naruto was holding his hand again. Sasuke looked down at their hands. “It's okay. You've got time to figure it out,” he said. 

 

Sasuke looked up again. “So what about you? What are  _ you  _ doing with your life?” he asked. 

 

Naruto smiled sheepishly. “Well, uh… actually, I have no idea,” he said. Sasuke smiled. “I'm content with being a barista for now, and I'm just taking basic classes at the community college. I'm just kind of floating through life, and I don't actually mind it.” 

 

“As long as you're happy,” Sasuke said. 

 

“My thoughts exactly. Now, would you say you're more of a dog or a cat person?” Naruto asked. 

 

“Uh… cat person, I guess.” 

 

“But do you like dogs? Are you cool with them?” 

 

Sasuke smiled. “Yeah. I just prefer cats.” 

 

“That's fair. What's your Hogwarts House?” 

 

“Slytherin.” 

 

“I'm a Gryffindor!” 

 

“Of course you are.” 

 

“I don't know what that's supposed to mean. But what's your-” Naruto began. 

 

Someone else was approaching their little table. Someone who worked at the shop whom Sasuke didn't know. “Excuse me? I appreciate you guys coming in but we're actually about to close for the night,” they said. 

 

Naruto stood up immediately. “Oh, I'm sorry about that. We'll get going now,” he said, gesturing to Sasuke to stand with him. Sasuke followed suit. They threw away their trash and left the little shop. 

 

Outside, it was getting pretty cold. Sasuke almost wished he had brought a jacket or something to work. He wasn't too bothered by it because Naruto was grabbing his hand. “Well, that was fun. Sorry we got kicked out, though,” he said. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “That's alright. I had fun anyway.” 

 

“I guess I should be taking you home now.” 

 

“I guess so.” 

 

Naruto stopped walking and pulled Sasuke's body back by his hand. Sasuke turned and raised an eyebrow. “You don't want to go home, do you?” he asked. 

 

“You're smarter than you look,” Sasuke said and smiled softly. 

 

“I'm gonna ignore that and just focus on taking you somewhere,” Naruto said. He was pulling Sasuke off in the opposite direction now. 

 

“Where would you take me? Most places are closed by now on a Wednesday night,” Sasuke pointed out. 

 

Naruto shrugged and kept walking. “I was thinking we could just go to the park for a little while, swing on the swings like ten year olds, and see how many dogs we can find,” he said. 

 

“It's eleven o'clock at night. There won't be any dogs,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Shut up and let me dream, Sas- _ gay,”  _ Naruto hissed. 

 

He was dragging Sasuke into a dimly lit and vacant park. There was a little playground in the middle and a walking path around the perimeter. There were a lot of cherry blossom trees around that were all bare by now. 

 

“Come on, Sasuke!” 

 

**

 

Sasuke woke up the next day to several links and screenshots of articles on the compatibility of a leo and a libra. 


	18. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bad at updating regularly, so this one's a bit late. I'm so sorry that I'm awful at time management lol

It was something like a week later when Sasuke was coming out of work and was immediately met by Naruto- no surprise there. Naruto was grabbing his hand and pulling him off in the direction of his house without saying anything. That was a little surprising. “Hey, Naruto, what are you doing?” Sasuke asked. 

 

He didn't get an answer. 

 

“Naruto?” 

 

Still nothing. 

 

“Naruto, answer me.” 

 

Naruto stopped suddenly. “I'm sorry.” 

 

“Where are you taking me this time?” 

 

“Home.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

Sasuke always looked forward to their little nightly adventures, and going home so soon just did not seem appealing at all. But if Naruto didn't want to spend time with him… 

 

Sasuke's apartment building seemed to come up far too soon for Sasuke's liking. That just meant he had to kiss Naruto real quick and then go inside. Then he'd be alone for the rest of the night. 

 

“Uh, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. Sasuke looked over at him and noticed how nervous he looked. He wouldn't make eye contact with Sasuke and his hands were playing with the hem of his shirt. Sasuke had never seen him look like this ever before in his life. 

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Do you think I could… come inside? I mean, your brother’s not home yet, right?” Naruto asked. 

 

“Sure. He's not home yet,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto smiled for the first time that day as they walked inside. Sasuke realized this would be one of the first times he would bring Naruto inside his house to spend time with him. “So, uh… what exactly are you doing here?” Sasuke asked as he opened the door and lead Naruto into the apartment. 

 

Naruto shrugged. “Do you have that much of a problem with your boyfriend being in your house?” 

 

“No. But like… how long did you wanna stay? Because Itachi will probably be home soon, and then he'll stay in the living room until midnight at least, and I can't sneak you out while he's sitting right there,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Well… do you think I could stay the night? That'd be the easiest option, I suppose. And I don't have work early tomorrow,” Naruto suggested. 

 

Sasuke smiled. “Yeah, that works,” he said. 

 

Instead of a reply, he just got a kiss from Naruto instead. He was pushing Sasuke back by his shoulders so that his back hit the wall. He was pulling away before the kiss could get too heated, though. “Thank you,” he whispered. Then he let Sasuke go. “So, when do you think your brother will come home?” 

 

“Uh, I don’t know. You never really know,” Sasuke said. 

 

Naruto nodded. “Okay. Well, then I think we should grab some food and then go back to your room,” he said. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Food? I just served you ramen,” he said. 

 

“A man’s gotta eat. I wouldn’t expect you to understand, though,” Naruto said. He invited himself into Sasuke’s kitchen anyway. 

 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

 

“Nothing, nothing. Hey, you have cookies,” Naruto said. He opened a tin of cookies and put one in his mouth and grabbed another handful. “You want one?” he asked around the cookies in his mouth. 

 

Sasuke shook his head. “Let’s just go, okay?” 

 

And so Naruto followed Sasuke to his bedroom and shut the door behind him. He turned on the light and looked around Sasuke’s room. “Cute,” he said before he sat down on the bed. Sasuke sat down next to him without a word. 

 

They stayed in a comfortable silence for a little while Naruto ate his cookies. He kept trying to slip one into Sasuke’s hand, but Sasuke just kept giving it back. After Naruto had finished eating, he finally spoke up. “Can I ask you something?” Sasuke nodded. “What’s going on with you and your brother? Like, why can’t you have people over with him around?” 

 

Sasuke sighed. In the time he was taking to build up the courage to tell him, he heard the front door open and close, signaling that Itachi was home. Naruto’s eyes widened a little. Sasuke took a deep breath. “Well, he’s really mad at me right now. Normally, I don’t think he’d care, but everything I do just seems to really piss him off and I don’t want to risk it,” Sasuke whispered. He decided that being too loud would not be a good idea in case Itachi could hear everything he said. 

 

“Why’s he mad at you? I always thought you guys were chill,” Naruto asked. 

 

“Uh… it’s a long story. And it’s really stupid,” Sasuke said. The last thing he needed was to talk about his stupid mistakes with his boyfriend. 

 

Naruto was bouncing up and down on Sasuke’s bed. Sasuke didn’t know why. “I’ve got time. And it can’t be dumber than anything I’ve ever done,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed. For once in his life, he just needed to be honest with someone. And why couldn’t that person be Naruto? He liked Naruto better than anyone else in his life, so why couldn’t he trust him? “So Itachi was sleeping around with this guy that works at the restaurant, right? And he was telling me all about how he didn’t love this guy and that this guy slept with like everyone and he was basically a slut. So I go into work the next day, and this guy says something to me, and I forget why, but I end up calling him a slut. This guy blows up at me, so I tell him that I was only going off of what Itachi told me. Then he gets pissed at Itachi, ends any kind of relationship they sort of have there, and Itachi gets pissed at me for telling this guy he called him a slut. To this day, Itachi won’t talk to me unless it’s to remind me that I ruined his life and I should’ve never come back from Oto,” he explained. 

 

Naruto frowned. “Dude, it’s not your fault. And if your brother doesn't even love that guy, then why does he care that this guy doesn't want him anymore? The only stupid thing about this is the way your brother’s been acting,” Naruto said. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “But he won't ever see it that way,” he murmured. “Maybe he's right. Maybe I should've just stayed in Oto.” 

 

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand and threaded their fingers together. “If you had stayed in Oto, then we wouldn't have happened. And yeah, Itachi’s being a huge dick, but I'm here with you,” he said. He kissed Sasuke's cheek. 

 

Sasuke turned his head so that the next time Naruto kissed him, it was on his lips. Naruto kept kissing him. He cupped his hand around Sasuke's cheek without letting go of his hand. 

 

Sasuke broke the kiss off first. After telling all of this to Naruto, he wasn’t really feeling well enough for a kiss. He let go of his hand and just cupped his hands over his thighs. He had to look away from Naruto and look down instead. 

 

“Sasuke? You know you can’t blame yourself for this, right?” Naruto said suddenly. His voice was so gentle and it almost made Sasuke want to believe him. “Like, you didn’t do anything. It’s Itachi’s fault for saying all that stuff about that guy in the first place. And it’s that guy’s fault for getting so upset about one little comment. Like, grow up, dude. It’s not that deep.” Naruto was placing his hand on top of Sasuke’s again. 

 

Sasuke quickly moved his hand. “It doesn’t matter whose fault it is. It doesn’t matter if it’s my fault, or Itachi’s, or even fucking Deidara’s. The only thing that matters is that now Itachi won’t talk to me and he just completely ignores me,” he mumbled. 

 

Naruto was sighing. “Is Itachi the only one you live with?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. He hadn’t realized that he hadn’t told Naruto about his parents yet. Strange, since most people knew about the murder of his parents anyway. “And he’s the reason you never want to be home…” 

 

Sasuke closed his eyes and pulled his legs up under him. “Remember last week when you took me to that dango shop? And you kept asking me all those dumb questions?” he asked suddenly. 

 

“Uh… yeah? Why, do you want me to ask more dumb questions?” 

 

“No. But do you remember how one of the questions you asked was, ‘what’s my biggest fear?’” 

 

“Yeah, I remember.” 

 

“Remember how I didn’t answer?” 

 

“You said you didn’t know.” 

 

“I did know. I just didn’t want to tell you. But I’m going to tell you now,” Sasuke said. He could feel Naruto’s eyes on him as he bowed his head and took a deep breath. He wasn’t used to being so open with someone. He was never even this open with Itachi before all of this happened. “My biggest fear is being left completely alone.” 

 

Naruto was taking his hand suddenly and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “I know,” he whispered. “I know that. I know you’ve always pushed people away because you were afraid of losing them. You’ve never let anyone in because you thought that if they couldn’t get close to you, then they wouldn’t be able to hurt you. Believe me, I used to be the same way when my parents died. But then I realized that being lonely sucked and I did everything I could to make a lot of friends so I wouldn’t have to feel that way anymore.” 

 

Sasuke sniffled. Wait, when had his eyes started tearing up? That didn’t matter, though, because Naruto was pouring out his heart and Sasuke wanted to know more. “Your parents died?” he asked. 

 

“Yeah, when I was a baby. They were out of town for a short trip, but then got in a train accident on the way back to Konoha and died,” Naruto said. He took a deep breath. “As a kid, mostly everyone ignored me. I started pulling dumb pranks just to get people to pay attention, and somehow, I made some cool friends.” 

 

“I’m sorry,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“Don’t be. It doesn’t really affect me like that anymore,” Naruto said. “Now what about your parents? I’ve never seen any family photos around here, and the only one here is Itachi.” 

 

“It’s a long story,” Sasuke dismissed. 

 

He hated the way Naruto immediately answered with, “I’ve got time.” 

 

Sasuke took a deep breath. He didn’t tell people this story. “When I was ten years old, I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard someone screaming. I went to find out that it was my mother, and when I went into her room, I found her and my father being slaughtered on their bedroom floor,” he said. 

 

“Oh my god,” Naruto breathed out. 

 

“I didn’t know what to do. My mom was already dead, and my dad kept screaming at me to move. I couldn’t move. The man killing my parents approached me and knocked me out. I didn’t wake up until the next day; only to discover that Itachi, who had come home late that night, had to literally carry me out of the house. Since then, I haven’t set foot in that house. I stayed with Kakashi-sensei, who was actually my neighbor, until Itachi, who was only sixteen, scraped up enough money to buy an apartment. This apartment,” Sasuke explained. 

 

He took a deep breath before continuing. “Ever since then, it’s just been me and him. He’s looked after me and helped me get into college and move to Oto. That’s why it hurts so badly that he won’t talk to me. After so many years of relying on him, losing him is just… awful.” 

 

Naruto kissed his cheek again and gripped his hand a little tighter. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He kissed him again. “I had no idea.” Another kiss. “I should’ve been there longer.” 

 

Sasuke smirked. “Don’t say that. You didn’t know. And like you said, I don’t just let people in like that. Sometimes I’m still surprised myself that I made an exception for you,” he said. 

 

Suddenly, Naruto was pushing Sasuke back so that he was laying down on the bed. Naruto climbed up so that he was straddling Sasuke’s hips. Sasuke’s eyes widened. This kind of thing hasn’t happened since Kiba’s party, but now Sasuke was stone-cold sober. “And I am so glad you did,” Naruto murmured. He kissed Sasuke slowly and tenderly. 

 

At the first brush of Naruto’s tongue on his lips, Sasuke pulled away. He was already panting. “What are you trying to do here, Naruto?” 

 

Naruto sat up straight. He bit his lip for a moment, then met Sasuke’s gaze again. “If I’m being completely honest with you, I was looking to have sex with you tonight,” he said. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Um…” 

 

“But if you’re not comfortable with that, then we don’t have to. I won’t make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” Naruto promised. 

 

“Uh… can you get off of me for a moment? So we can talk about this?” Sasuke requested. Naruto obliged and sat next to Sasuke instead of on top of him. Sasuke took a deep breath. He could not believe this was actually about to happen. “What the hell gave you this idea?” 

 

Naruto raised an eyebrow. “What is that supposed to mean? Like, we’re dating now, you know? And I just figured it was something we could try, since most other couples do it, too,” he said. Then, with a blush on his cheeks, he added, “And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about it since high school.” 

 

That made Sasuke blush, too. Why had Naruto wanted Sasuke back in high school? Sasuke was awful in high school. But then again, he was pretty awful now, too. “Uh… okay,” he said awkwardly. 

 

“Is that an ‘okay, we can have sex,’ or an ‘okay, you’re a pervert, get out of my house?’” 

 

“It’s more of an, ‘okay, I haven’t made a decision yet, so let’s keep talking,’” Sasuke answered. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

“Are you a virgin?” Naruto asked bluntly. Sasuke nearly choked on his own saliva. “For a long time, I thought, ‘there’s no way that a guy as hot as that can be a virgin,’ but then I started to get to know you and I realized that it was more likely that you’re a virgin. I’d like an answer for what feels like a lifetime of curiosity, please.” 

 

Sasuke sighed. “Yes, I’m a virgin,” he admitted. 

 

Naruto had this goofy smirk that Sasuke just wanted to smack off his face. “Cute,” he said. 

 

“Shut up. What about you, huh? Are you a virgin?” 

 

Sasuke really wasn’t expecting it when Naruto shook his head and said, “Nah.” 

 

His eyes had to be impossibly wide and his face impossibly red at this point. “What?” he gasped out. He knew just how irritating Naruto could be, which made him confused as to how Naruto was getting more action than him. 

 

“Why are you so surprised?” Naruto asked. He hadn’t stopped smiling. 

 

“Because you’re you! Now, who did you have sex with?” Sasuke demanded. 

 

“Do you want the full list?” 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened a little bit more. There was a  _ list  _ of people Naruto had had sex with? That just didn’t seem right. “How many people have you had sex with?” Sasuke demanded. 

 

“Will my answer in any way, shape, or form affect my chances of getting laid tonight?” Naruto countered. 

 

“Depends.” 

 

“One more question: do you want the number of people or their names?” 

 

“Will I know them based on their names?” 

 

“Uh… yes?” 

 

“Tell me the names.” 

 

Naruto took a deep breath. “Well, first of all, there was Hinata. That was in high school, but then she realized she was gay. I also had sex with Sakura in high school. But I can tell you that I haven’t fucked a girl since high school. After high school… I think it was Sai next? Or maybe Kiba? I dunno, it happened with Kiba a couple times. Then there was that one time with Neji-” 

 

“You had sex with Neji?” Sasuke exclaimed. 

 

Naruto’s eyes widened. “Uh… yeah. One time we went all the way all the way, and another time, he just gave me a blowjob. Honestly, Neji gives the best blowjobs; if you ever get the chance to get one from him,  _ take it.”  _

 

“Don’t tell me to have sex with Neji.” 

 

“Sorry. Did you want me to continue the list?” 

 

“There’s more?” 

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Keep going.” 

 

“Uh… one time, Choji and Shikamaru broke up for a few days, and in that time, I slept with both of them. At different times, though. I’ve never had a threesome. And… is that it?” Naruto asked. He stared off into the distance as he thought. “No, wait, there was Gaara. That should be it, then.” 

 

“I lost count after you brought up Neji.” 

 

“Why are you so shook about me fucking Neji?” 

 

“Because I told you what almost happened with me and Neji. Also, he’s like madly in love with Lee and I can’t really see him having sex with anyone that isn’t Lee. Wait, you’re friends with Lee. Did you ever fuck Lee?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Naruto had to think for a moment. “I gave him a handjob. It was before he started dating Neji and he was really upset about how Neji didn’t like him the same way he did and I was just like, ‘dude, I’ll give you a handjob if you stop talking about Neji,’ and he was like, ‘okay,’” he finally said. 

 

“I literally cannot believe you. When was the last time you had sex?” Sasuke asked. 

 

“Uh… something like six months ago.” 

 

“Oh,” Sasuke murmured. He looked away. He was really unsure of how he was supposed to feel. 

 

“You've been asking me a lot of questions. Can I ask you one now?” Naruto said suddenly. He covered Sasuke's hand with his own. 

 

Sasuke refused to make eye contact. “What is it?” 

 

Naruto took a deep breath. “Will you have sex with me? I know all that was probably not what you wanted to hear-” he started. 

 

“Your sexual history is no concern of mine,” Sasuke said quickly. 

 

Naruto kissed Sasuke's cheek. “You're lying. Do you want to talk about it?” 

 

“No,” Sasuke said immediately. He could still feel Naruto staring at him. He moved his hand out from underneath of Naruto's. “You fucked Neji…” 

 

Naruto let out a loud sigh, catching Sasuke’s attention. “Yes, I fucked Neji. But it didn’t mean anything, okay? Neji’s just a friend, if you could even call it that. He’s not  _ that  _ good of a friend, either; he’s pretty mean,” he said. He leaned over to Sasuke and kissed his cheek again. “But… if you let me do this with you… then it would definitely mean something. It would mean everything. I really like you, Sasuke, and I want to be with you. And I think we should be able to do this.” 

 

Sasuke’s heart was racing. Honestly, he didn’t know how he was feeling at the moment. After all, he liked Naruto. He wanted to do whatever would make Naruto continue to like him as well. Not that he had a problem with any of this, but it was just really new to him. 

 

He turned his head so he could look Naruto in the eyes. Naruto raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to say something. Sasuke took a deep breath. “Yes, I’ll have sex with you. Even though you fucked Neji,” he answered. 

 

The smile on Naruto’s face was well worth it. “I’ll make this good for you, okay? I swear. Just… stop bringing up Neji. It was one time like three years ago and we both agreed to never talk about it again,” he said. 

 

“Right. Sorry,” Sasuke said. 

 

He was caught off guard when Naruto kissed his lips. “It’s fine. Just focus on me and nothing else,” Naruto murmured. 

 

Naruto kept kissing him. He grabbed his shoulders and pushed Sasuke back so he was laying on his back again. Naruto climbed on top of him. He leaned in to kiss him, and that was when Sasuke realized he was locked in to this. “Wait,” he gasped out, placing his hand over Naruto’s mouth to stop his kiss. Naruto narrowed his eyes. “We can’t do this while my brother is still awake. I’m not doing that.” 

 

Naruto sighed and got back off of Sasuke. He nodded, though. “Alright. That’s alright,” he said. “When does your brother usually go to bed?” 

 

Sasuke reached over and checked the time on his phone. It was 11:30 and he hadn’t even realized it. “Soon, I think. Just wait until you hear the TV turn off,” he said. 

 

Naruto nodded and let Sasuke sit up beside him. They waited in silence for a few moments, until finally, the faint hum of the TV on from the other room shut off. Sasuke strained to hear the faint sounds of footsteps, and then a closing door. Itachi was finally going to bed, so Naruto and Sasuke could do whatever they wanted. 


	19. First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is. The badly written porn chapter. Sorry.

Naruto looked over at Sasuke. “He's going to bed, right?” he whispered. Sasuke nodded. “So now I can have you?” 

 

“I'm all yours,” Sasuke murmured. Naruto smirked before he leaned in and kissed Sasuke. 

 

Sasuke was expecting Naruto to go so far as to lay him down again and just shower him in kisses, but Naruto pulled away far before. Sasuke opened his eyes and raised an eyebrow, but Naruto was just staring at him kind of awkwardly. “So… I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that you weren't expecting me to bring this up tonight,” he said. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Well… I guess not,” he said. 

 

Naruto nodded. “So you wouldn't happen to have condoms or lube on you, huh?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke bit his lip. “No, I'm afraid not. Itachi might have extras in the bathroom, though,” he suggested. 

 

“Let's go to the bathroom, then,” Naruto said. He nudged Sasuke's shoulder until he stood up. 

 

Carefully and quietly, Sasuke opened his door, and creeped across the hall to his bathroom. Naruto followed right behind him. They crept into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the light. Sasuke knelt down in front of the vanity cabinets and beckoned for Naruto to follow him. 

 

Naruto was right next to him, his eyes scanning the shelves for something useful. Finally, he said, “Ah-ha!” He reached out and grabbed a small bottle of lube, then handed it to Sasuke. He also found a new box of condoms, opened it, and took one out. “Okay. Let's go back,” he whispered. Sasuke nodded and they both stood up. They crept back across the hall to Sasuke's room. 

 

Neither bothered to turn on the light before Naruto was grabbing Sasuke and kissing him roughly. Sasuke was caught off guard, but not entirely surprised. He wasn't sure exactly what to do, so he just let Naruto take control of the situation. He wasn't aware of much other than Naruto's lips. Until his hands started picking at the buttons of Sasuke's work shirt. 

 

Without even thinking about it, Sasuke smacked Naruto's hand away. That caused Naruto to break off the kiss. Even in the dark, Sasuke could see the pissed look on his face. Before he could yell at him, Sasuke spoke up. “I would prefer to keep my shirt on, if that's alright,” he said. He just didn't want to have to deal with what Naruto's reaction would be like. It was dark, but he would still be able to see how sickly thin Sasuke was. Or worst of all- he would see his scars. And then he'd probably be so grossed out that he'd just leave. And Sasuke was in love with Naruto, so there was no way he could deal with that. 

 

Fortunately, Naruto just nodded. “Dude, if you didn't wanna take your shirt off, you could've just said so. You didn't have to smack my hand, you know?” he pointed out. Sasuke just shrugged. “Let's continue, then,” he added. Sasuke was expecting to be kissed again, but before that could happen, Naruto was pulling his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. 

 

Sasuke couldn't help but stare at Naruto's bare chest. He wasn't sure what he was expecting, but chiseled abs and strong arms certainly weren't it. Naruto's skin was sunkissed and smooth and he just looked  _ stellar.  _ Now Sasuke was glad he hadn’t taken off his shirt. Compared to Naruto’s body, his would look like garbage. 

 

Naruto, of course, noticed Sasuke’s stare. “What’s the matter, Sas? You see something you like?” he asked with a smirk. 

 

Sasuke scoffed. “Keep saying shit like that and you’re not getting laid,” he hissed. 

 

He could watch as Naruto’s jaw dropped, but he wasn’t expecting it when Naruto quickly hugged him tightly. Honestly, Sasuke thought he might suffocate. “I don’t believe you,” Naruto murmured. He moved one of his arms so he could lift Sasuke’s chin and kiss his lips again. Sasuke could have died. 

 

Naruto moved his hands down to Sasuke’s hips. He started backing him up so that his knees hit the bed. “Lay down. I’m gonna take good care of you,” he whispered. Sasuke felt his cheeks heating up. Normally, he wouldn’t be one to just blindly do what someone else tells him, but he had a weakness for Naruto that made him obey. He laid down and stared up at Naruto. 

 

Naruto bent over to kiss his lips once before he straightened up and slid his thumbs under the waistband of his jeans and pulled them off. He kicked them off of his feet and was left standing in his boxers. Sasuke couldn’t resist glancing up and down Naruto’s body. When had the stupid, annoying class clown gotten so hot? And here was Sasuke, too shy to even take his shirt off. 

 

His thoughts were quickly interrupted when Naruto crawled on top of him and straddled his hips. Sasuke could feel his pants growing tighter; he hadn’t been expecting himself to want this so badly. His mouth was open and his eyes were wide and he probably looked so stupid. It didn’t last long, though, because Naruto was leaning down and kissing him. Sasuke kept his hands curled around his blankets, even though Naruto was caressing his face. Time seemed to pass unbelievably quickly, because Naruto was breaking off the kiss and sitting up again. Sasuke knew he couldn’t fight the blush creeping across his cheeks. He had to look away from Naruto, too. 

 

He heard Naruto giggling, which really only concerned him even more. Naruto reached out and put his hands flat against Sasuke’s chest, forcing him to suddenly look up at him. “Calm down, Sasuke. You don’t need to be so shy. It’s just me,” he said with a smile. 

 

“I’m not shy,” Sasuke said. As soon as he had said it, he knew it was dumb. 

 

Naruto laughed. Like, actually laughed, and not just giggled. “Sasuke, it’s okay to be shy. But you trust me, right?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. “Good. Because I promise that I’ll make this good for you,” he said. “Can I keep going now?” Sasuke just nodded again. 

 

Naruto slid off of Sasuke and went down by his feet. Reaching up, he undid Sasuke’s pants. Sasuke had to hold his breath as Naruto slowly began to drag them down. Still, Naruto must have noticed Sasuke’s weird reaction, because he stopped to ask, “Is this okay?” Sasuke could only nod. He wasn’t used to being this exposed in front of anyone before. But he couldn’t let Naruto know that. 

 

Eventually, Sasuke’s pants were all the way off and he was left just laying in his boxers. He was uncomfortable. But he couldn't let Naruto know that. 

 

Naruto lifted his legs up and hitched them around his waist. His fingers were now curling around Sasuke's boxers. Sasuke realized there was no going back now. He squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't bear to see Naruto's face when he was mostly naked in front of him. Again, he had never been this exposed in front of another person before. He was unbelievably nervous. 

 

“Sasuke?” Fuck. Of course Naruto noticed how scared he was. “Sasuke, are you okay?” 

 

“I'm fine,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Open your eyes,” Naruto said. So Sasuke did. Naruto was frowning at him. “You look incredibly nervous right now. You know we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” he pointed out. 

 

Sasuke sighed. He was going to do this. He was twenty years old, he had a boyfriend he really liked, so there was no better time than now to lose his virginity. “No, we’re doing this,” he decided. Despite the fact that he was literally shaking with the idea of Naruto seeing him naked. 

 

Naruto still looked skeptical, and that was probably what made him say, “If you ever get uncomfortable, just let me know and we can stop,” he said. 

 

Sasuke scoffed. “Thanks, but it’s not necessary. Now shut up and take my pants off,” he hissed. 

 

Naruto smirked again. “I think I like it when you get bossy,” he said. He grabbed Sasuke’s boxers again and didn’t waste any time when he yanked them down and threw them on the floor. Sasuke was blushing again and it was only getting worse. Now he was almost fully exposed and he was still pretty uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t let Naruto see that. 

 

Fortunately, Naruto didn’t notice. He just reached out and grabbed the bottle of lube on the bed next to Sasuke. He spread Sasuke’s thighs even wider apart, making him blush. He applied the lube to his fingers, spreading it out evenly. He put his clean hand on the underside of Sasuke’s thigh, squeezing his cheek gently. He didn’t say anything more before he slipped one finger inside of his hole. 

 

Sasuke had never experienced anything like this before. In the rare occasions that he did masturbate, it never once crossed his mind to put his hand  _ there.  _ Honestly, it was such a strange feeling. He couldn’t really determine whether or not it was a good feeling. 

 

“This is okay, right? ‘Cause if it's not, then I'll stop. I'll definitely stop,” Naruto said. His eyes were wide and he looked almost as nervous as Sasuke felt. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It's fine. We're going to do this, so just keep going,” he hissed. 

 

Naruto smiled again. “I'm adding another one,” he warned before he actually did it. Sasuke’s breath hitched. It was weird being stretched like this. Actually, it was a bit painful. It wasn't too bad, though. “How does it feel?” Naruto asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “It's weird,” he said. That was really the only way he could describe it. 

 

Naruto frowned again. “Hold on. I know I can make this feel really good for you,” he said. He seemed really concentrated, and that was when he started moving his fingers. He started crooking them to different angles, reaching places deeper inside of Sasuke. Suddenly, his fingers brushed a spot inside that made Sasuke see stars. He gasped and his eyes went wide. Naruto had been right; he really did know how to make this good for him. 

 

Sasuke opened his eyes again to find Naruto smirking at him. “Found it,” he said. 

 

Sasuke was still panting. “Do that again,” he said. And Naruto did. This time, Sasuke let out the quietest of moans. He didn't know something like this could feel so good. 

 

“Can I add another finger?” Naruto asked. 

 

“Go for it,” Sasuke said. 

 

When he did, the pain level increased. Nothing Sasuke, couldn't handle, but it just made him confused about all these different sensations. Naruto was moving his fingers again, this time thrusting them in and out lightly. Every so often, they would graze Sasuke's prostate and he would have no choice but to groan under his breath. 

 

Without any warning at all, Naruto pulled his fingers out of Sasuke's hole. Sasuke opened his eyes into a glare at Naruto. Naruto noticed, smiled, and said, “Aw, come on. Don't get bitchy, we're not done. You didn't really think I'd leave you high and dry, did you?” 

 

“You're very unpredictable,” Sasuke said dryly. 

 

Naruto scoffed. “I'm going to ignore that and just keep going,” he hissed. He made a big show out of taking his boxers off and tossing them to the floor. Sasuke couldn't help his gaze from wandering down and staring at his dick. It was… much bigger than Sasuke had been expecting. Naruto didn't really seem like the kind of person to have a big dick, okay? Yet… The very thought made Sasuke's cheeks heat up. 

 

Naruto laughed, forcing Sasuke to look up at his face instead. “Hey, why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer, you know,” he said. 

 

Sasuke scoffed and tore his gaze away. “Fuck you,” he growled. 

 

Naruto leaned over Sasuke, placing his hands on either side of Sasuke's body. Sasuke held his breath. “Actually, I believe it will be  _ me  _ that's fucking _ you _ ,” he growled in Sasuke's ear. Sasuke had never wanted someone so badly. 

 

Naruto moved his hands again, this time putting them on Sasuke's ass. He spread his cheeks apart, and Sasuke was getting nervous. He didn't have too much time to feel that way, though, because Naruto was pushing his cock into his hole in no time at all. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes went wide. This was a much different feeling compared to his fingers. His dick was a lot bigger and he was taking it all at once. It was uncomfortable and actually a little painful. He couldn't help it when he winced. 

 

Of course, Naruto was paying attention. “Sasuke? What's wrong?” he asked. “How does it feel?” 

 

Sasuke could have lied and said it was fine, but all this honesty today just inspired him to be even more honest. So he said exactly what was on his mind. “Hurts,” was all he could get out. 

 

He saw Naruto's frown out of the corner of his eye. “I know. I'll move in a second, okay? Then I'll make sure you feel good, too,” he promised. 

 

Sasuke nodded. That was all he could do. Very gently, Naruto pulled back slightly. He then pushed in again. He looked at Sasuke for reassurance, and he just nodded. So Naruto kept going, each thrust getting a little bit more powerful. Still, Sasuke wasn't feeling it. 

 

“How do you feel, Sasuke?” Naruto asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “Uh… it's better. But it just feels really weird,” he admitted. 

 

Naruto was still frowning. He pulled back again. “Alright, let me get a better angle here. Then you won’t be able to stop screaming,” he said. Sasuke wanted to scoff and express his disbelief to his partner, but that was when Naruto spread Sasuke’s legs even wider apart and pushed in again. This time, his cock hit directly on Sasuke’s prostate, causing his jaw to drop in a quiet moan. 

 

Naruto’s frown turned into a smirk. “There it is,” he said. 

 

However, after that first move, Naruto had stopped moving. And Sasuke was left feeling kind of uncomfortable again. Sasuke roughly smacked Naruto's shoulder. “Don't you dare stop moving now,” he hissed. 

 

Naruto's confused expression quickly turned into a smirk. “Aye, aye, Captain,” he said. Sasuke rolled his eyes, but then they just went wide again when Naruto picked up the pace. He pulled back then thrust in again, striking Sasuke's prostate again. Sasuke gasped and moaned, but Naruto was doing it again as soon as he hit it. He kept repeating it until he was building up a steady rhythm. 

 

It was getting much harder for Sasuke to keep relatively quiet. Every thrust would hit Sasuke's prostate, causing waves of pleasure to rush through his body. He had never felt this way before, and he never wanted it to stop. 

 

“Sasuke? How are you feeling?” Naruto asked again. Sasuke could hear his breath quickening and he was wondering how he was managing to talk through this. 

 

He, himself, was having a hard time just stammering out the word, “G-good.” He paused. “So- ah- good!” 

 

Naruto was leaning over and pressing his lips against Sasuke's neck. He could feel his smirk against his skin. “Good boy, Sasuke,” he said. 

 

Sasuke didn't know why he felt a rush to his stomach at the phrase, “good boy,” but he sure did. Suddenly, he was longing for something more. He even surprised himself when he groaned out, “Harder, Naruto.” 

 

Naruto's eyes widened up at least ten times their size. “Whoa,” he breathed out. “A-are you sure? It might hurt.” 

 

“Fuck me harder!” Sasuke shouted. 

 

And so Naruto did. His pace grew faster, his thrusts got harder, and he was reaching places deeper that just made Sasuke's thighs quiver around Naruto's waist. He could not hold back when he tossed his head back against the pillow and shouted. 

 

Naruto was swearing above him, his breath hot against the skin of his neck. “Quiet down. Don't wake your brother,” Naruto murmured. 

 

Itachi was the farthest thing from Sasuke's mind right now, though. “I don't care. Just- ah- don't stop!” he groaned. He had to sling his arms up around Naruto's neck and cling to him. 

 

For a very long time, Sasuke never imagined that someone would ever love him enough to actually have sex with him. He had so many overwhelming flaws that would turn so many people off, yet here was Naruto, taking his virginity, loving him like no one had before. For some odd reason, the thought brought tears to Sasuke's eyes. When he blinked, they began to fall. 

 

Of course, Naruto did not let them go unnoticed. His eyes widened when he stared at Sasuke, and his pace faltered a little bit. “Sasuke! If it hurts that bad, then I would've stopped! You just need to speak up,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sniffled and buried his head in Naruto's shoulder. “No, it doesn't hurt. I-it's just…” he began. He had to pause to think about what he would say. But right now, nothing seemed more right than to say exactly what was on his mind. “I just really love you, okay?” 

 

Naruto's movements stopped altogether. His eyes were wide and he was panting. He just kept staring at Sasuke. “No one’s ever loved me like this before,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

Naruto leaned in and kissed Sasuke's lips slowly. He was running his fingers through Sasuke's hair. When he broke away, he whispered, “That's why I'm here.” Sasuke smiled softly. “Now, can I keep going?” 

 

“Please,” Sasuke whispered. And so Naruto did. He pulled back and thrust in repeatedly, resuming his earlier pace. 

 

Sasuke's loud moans just turned into soft whimpers. Side effect of crying during sex, he supposed. He knew he would look back on this moment and be unbelievably embarrassed, but right now, everything just felt so right. 

 

Naruto still looked skeptical about the tears in Sasuke's eyes, but he didn't stop again. Sasuke was thankful for that, especially when Naruto tossed his head back and moaned, “You're so tight, Sasuke, ah- you feel so good.” 

 

Sasuke didn't know why his words made his stomach flutter, but they did. He could feel his orgasm building up in his stomach, and he hoped that he wouldn't be coming embarrassingly quickly. Still, he couldn't exactly control something like that. “N-Naru… I'm close…” Sasuke groaned out. 

 

Without a word, Naruto's hand was wrapping around Sasuke's cock. Sasuke couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. “Go ahead and come for me, Sas,” Naruto whispered. 

 

He started pumping Sasuke's cock in time with his thrusts. With the pressure both there and on his prostate, Sasuke was finding it really hard not to scream. It didn't take very long at all before Sasuke was bucking into Naruto's hand and coming with a scream. 

 

He could hardly catch his breath afterward. He was still getting over the aftermath of his orgasm when Naruto started thrusting a lot faster than before. It hurt quite a bit, but Sasuke figured Naruto was just trying to get himself off and it wouldn't last very long. So he wasn't very surprised when Naruto thrust in one last time and then stilled with a moan. 

 

Naruto's body collapsed on top of Sasuke's and they both took a few moments to catch their breath. Sasuke buried his head in Naruto's shoulder and held onto him. It took a few moments before Naruto got up, pulled out, and got off the bed. He took off the condom, tied it off, and threw it away before he grabbed his boxers and slipped them on. He also grabbed Sasuke's boxers and tossed them on the bed. Sasuke slipped them on without a word. 

 

Naruto was laying down beside Sasuke once he had put his boxers on. He kissed Sasuke's cheek, then lifted his head and turned his attention to Sasuke's face. He frowned. “Why are you still crying? You don't need to cry,” he murmured, wiping Sasuke's tears away with his thumb. 

 

Sasuke sniffled and smiled softly. “I'm just really happy right now, that's all,” he said. 

 

“Then I guess I don't need to tell you to stop crying,” Naruto said. “But, I am getting pretty tired.” 

 

“Me too. Let's get some sleep,” Sasuke said. 

 

“My thoughts exactly. Roll over,” Naruto said. Sasuke did, but didn't say anything. Any questions he might have had were answered when Naruto curled up behind him and wrapped his arm around Sasuke's waist. He pressed a quick kiss to the nape of Sasuke's neck. “Goodnight, Sasuke,” he murmured. 

 

Sasuke smiled again. “Goodnight.” He finally allowed his eyes to shut and his mind to drift off into sleep. 


	20. Devastation

Sasuke woke up with sunlight streaming through his window. He blinked and lifted his head. It was rather strange that he was up after the sun was. He was so used to waking up before the sun that this was really foreign to him. It wasn’t until he reached out to check the time on his phone that he realized he was still wearing his work shirt. Meaning that he had gone to sleep in his work shirt last night. He sat up in bed, and the second part of last night’s mystery showed itself: his ass hurt. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. He had spent the night with Naruto last night. But now Naruto wasn’t in bed next to Sasuke. Sasuke’s heart was racing. Naruto had to be around here somewhere, right? Maybe he just went to the bathroom. Or maybe he was out in the kitchen, having coffee and waiting for Sasuke to get up. Sasuke swallowed the lump in his throat and got out of bed. He had to find out. 

 

Luckily for him, he had put on boxers before crashing last night, because he didn’t even bother to check and see what he was wearing when he left his room. First, he decided the check the bathroom. But the light was off and the door was open. Still, Sasuke went inside and checked every possible hiding place. Naruto wasn’t there. 

 

Sasuke’s palms were sweating and his heart was racing. That meant that Naruto had to be in the living room or kitchen, right? But when he walked out and looked at the kitchen counter, the only person sitting there was Itachi. Itachi, whose eyes narrowed into a glare as soon as he saw Sasuke. Sasuke disregarded that, though, because he had more important matters. 

 

The couch was empty and the TV was off. Naruto wasn’t here. Sasuke could hardly breathe by the time he walked to the front door. He opened it and peered out into the hallway. Naruto wasn’t there. Naruto was nowhere to be found. He had left without a word, and that hurt Sasuke more than anything. 

 

It took a few moments before he could allow himself to slam the door shut. There were tears in eyes. Naruto left. He didn’t know what to do. He was about to cry; he had to go back to his room. Maybe Naruto had texted him or tried to call or something. Sasuke had to go back. 

 

He made eye contact with Itachi on the way back to his room. Sasuke had to stop and stare at his brother for a moment. Maybe he was seeing things, but he could’ve sworn that he saw Itachi’s eyes soften. But that was too unlikely, so Sasuke dismissed the thought. He ran back to his room and slammed the door behind him. When he went to his phone, he had no notifications. 

 

He couldn’t help it when he threw his phone on the floor, tossed his head back, and shouted, “Fuck!” 

 

He collapsed on his bed and finally broke down in tears. Sobs were ripping through his throat and echoing throughout the room. What the hell was he supposed to do without Naruto here to love him? 


	21. It's Not Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short filler chapter, but the next parts will be really important.

Sasuke went to work that day without even showering. His feet seemed to drag on the pavement as he walked there alone. The air seemed colder and harder to breathe after what had happened this morning. Kisame greeted him at the door, gave him a strange look, but said nothing more. His coworkers all stared at him. But when Konan asked him what was wrong, he quickly dismissed her. 

 

There was a tiny fraction of hope still in Sasuke’s heart. He was hoping that Naruto would sit down in his section and apologize for leaving this morning. That he would tell Sasuke he still loved him. Sasuke kept staring at all his customers, hoping to find that familiar blond head. 

 

Naruto never came in. 

 

The air was so much colder going home alone. 


	22. When It Gets To Be Too Much

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning: this chapter contains self harm and a suicide attempt. Please proceed with caution.

It was around midnight and Sasuke couldn’t sleep. How was he supposed to just go to sleep in the same bed that Naruto had made love to him in, and then just ran off? Had Sasuke really scared him off so much? 

 

Sasuke ran over the details of last night again in his mind. He had been doing this all day. But as he remembered it, he was pretty sure that he hadn’t gotten any bad vibes from Naruto or anything. Naruto had seemed to care so much about him. But if that was the case, then where was he today? 

 

Sasuke decided to text Naruto again. He had been doing that all day. 

 

**You:** naruto what’s going on

**You:** please answer me

 

He didn’t know why he kept doing this. But he had cared so much about Naruto that it hurt so bad now that he was gone. What had Sasuke done? 

 

Sasuke thought back to their conversation the night before when Sasuke had spilled almost everything to Naruto. He told him about his parents, about his deepest fears, about why he always pushed people away. Naruto had kissed him and seemed to understand, but maybe that was just where he drew the line? 

 

Sasuke hugged his knees to his chest. He checked his phone again. 

 

Naruto hadn’t texted back. But he had read the message. 

 

He had read the message three minutes ago. But there were no bubbles to indicate he was typing. 

 

Naruto wasn’t going to answer him. 

 

Sasuke couldn’t stop the tears that fell down his cheeks. Of course Naruto had ran off. Of course Naruto wouldn’t talk to him. How could he expect to be happy when he had done so much wrong? He had made so many mistakes in his life, but worst of all was believing that anybody would ever be able to love him. 

 

What was he supposed to do now? Just live his life in solitude forever? That didn’t seem very desirable. But it seemed like the only option, since there was no way that Naruto would ever come back to him and Itachi still refused to talk to him. 

 

Sasuke was never going to be happy. That much should’ve been evident for a very long time. Unfortunately, it took Sasuke too many heart breaks to finally figure that out. And what was the point of living if he was never going to be happy? Was there a reason he had to get up every day and face a world that was against him? Right now, Sasuke couldn’t see any of those reasons. 

 

He reached down and dug through the pocket of his suitcase that he still hadn’t unpacked. He had always meant to unpack, but after tonight, that certainly wouldn’t matter. 

 

He found what he was looking for. It was his small pocket knife that he’d used a few too many times in his lifetime. And now here he was, about to use it one last time. 

 

Sasuke got off his bed. He crept across the hall to his bathroom. There were no lights on the apartment, meaning Itachi had already gone to bed. 

 

Sasuke nearly slammed the door when he got to the bathroom. He didn’t, though, with only the thought that Itachi would be mad behind it. He hated the thought that he’d die while his brother still hated him. Still, it wasn’t worth living with his anger. 

 

It wasn’t like Sasuke hadn’t tried this before. Then, he’d been in college and his stupid roommate, Suigetsu, had forced him to stop. Suigetsu had meant well, but after that, Sasuke couldn’t help but push him away. Back then, it had failed. But it wouldn’t fail this time. It  _ couldn’t.  _ Suigetsu wasn’t here. And Sasuke had no one else to talk him out of it anymore. 

 

He couldn’t help but think of Naruto. He always thought about him. He couldn’t help but remember all those times when Naruto had promised he’d help Sasuke get past all his issues. Sasuke had always wanted to believe him. 

 

But then Naruto left. 

 

And here was Sasuke, crying in his bathroom with a knife clutched tight in his hand. 

 

Naruto had left. And he wasn’t coming back. How was Sasuke supposed to live in a world where the only man he’d ever loved had left him after stealing his virginity? It seemed undesirable, so here Sasuke was. In his bathroom, crying and cutting gashes in his wrists. 

 

He had lost track of how much he was cutting in all his thoughts. There was so much blood on his arms, but when he looked down, he realized that none of the cuts he’d made so far would be quite lethal. And lethal was exactly what he was going for. 

 

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, the tears pouring down his cheeks. He just wanted to get this over with so it could all be over. His hand shook as he angled the knife above his wrist and made one long, deep cut. 

 

He cracked open his eyes to see the blood bubbling over. He figured it would be a while before he bled out, so he decided to do the same to his other arm. Except, he was cutting with his left hand, so it didn’t work as well. Sasuke sighed. He guessed he would just have to be patient. 

 

Sasuke’s head was starting to feel light. It was only now that it crossed his mind that it may have been a good idea to write a note. That was what all the people who committed suicide did, right? But he quickly dismissed the thought. No one would even care if he died, so why write a note? 

 

His vision was getting blurry. He felt like he was going to pass out. But this time, he wouldn’t be waking up to find Gai kneeling above him. This time, it would be lights out forever. And that was all Sasuke wanted. 

 

His vision gave way to blackness. And his body collapsed to the floor. 

 

When he did wake up, it was because someone was screaming and grabbing his head. “Sasuke? Brother, please wake up! Please, Sasuke, wake up.” 

 

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he discovered that his head was in Itachi’s lap. Itachi was sobbing above him, his tears splashing down to Sasuke. His hands shook around Sasuke’s head. Sasuke could barely process what was going on. He didn’t even recognize his own voice when he mumbled, “I’m sorry… Just let me go.” 

 

He wasn’t expecting it when Itachi begged, “I’m not letting you go! Sasuke, don’t leave me!” 

 

Sasuke was feeling dizzy again. But it kept getting worse. He just turned his head and kept repeating, “Let me go… let me go…” 

 

Everything went black. He heard Itachi shriek just before he lost consciousness again. 


	23. Forgiveness

When Sasuke woke up again, his friend Sakura and another woman were standing above him. He felt less dizzy, but still really confused. He had no idea where he was, until he realized that both women were wearing scrubs and white coats. He blinked a few times. Sakura looked up at him first. She looked really stressed, but when she saw Sasuke, she smiled softly. “Sasuke! You’re alright!” she said. 

 

Sasuke glanced around the room. “Where am I?” he asked. 

 

Sakura frowned. The other woman looked up at him. “You’re in the hospital. Don’t you remember what you did?” she asked. Her tone was a bit colder than Sasuke would have liked, but he didn’t have the time to care. 

 

He glanced down at where Sakura and the other woman were focusing all of their attention; his arms. He saw the stitches and all the gashes and that was when it clicked. He had just attempted suicide. And now he was in the hospital. And according to Sakura, he was alright. 

 

“Sasuke? How are you feeling?” the other woman asked. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Who are you?” 

 

The other lady smiled softly. “I’m Tsunade. I’m your doctor,” she said. “And you seem to already know Sakura. And we’re gonna make sure you get out of here.” Tsunade glanced at Sakura for a moment. “Sakura, hand me the gauze.” 

 

Tsunade wrapped the gauze around the stitches on his arms. “There. You’re going to be fine. We’ll probably keep you for a little bit longer, just in case something goes wrong. But it won’t,” she said warmly. 

 

“Lady Tsunade, his brother’s in the waiting room. Do you think he’s allowed to see visitors yet?” Sakura asked. 

 

At her mention of Itachi, Sasuke’s eyes widened. Itachi was here? Itachi cared enough to come here? Unfortunately, Tsunade just shrugged. “I don’t see why not. Send him in,” she said. 

 

“Wait!” Sasuke exclaimed. Tsunade raised an eyebrow. “I-I don’t think he’ll want to see me,” he mumbled, looking down. 

 

Tsunade and Sakura exchanged a glance. “Sasuke, I know what happened, but believe me, Itachi’s worried out of his mind. You need to see him, just for a little while at least,” Sakura told him. 

 

Sasuke knew better than to argue with Sakura, so he just looked down and nodded. “Alright,” he agreed. 

 

“Good. Now, I’ll get going to see some other patients, and Sakura, you bring his brother in,” Tsunade said. She and Sakura both left the room without another word. 

 

Sasuke’s heart was racing as he waited for Sakura to fetch Itachi. What was Sasuke even going to say to Itachi? What was Itachi going to say to him? He was dreading this interaction, but he didn’t want to have his ass kicked by two scary looking girls for not seeing his brother. 

 

It seemed like years before there was a knock on the closed door. It opened slowly, and Sakura stood in the doorway once more. “Sasuke, Itachi’s here to see you,” she said. Sasuke just nodded. Sakura stepped back and murmured, “Go ahead in,” to Itachi, who was probably waiting outside. 

 

Itachi pushed back the door and stepped inside very carefully. Sakura closed it completely. Before Sasuke could even greet his brother, Itachi was running forward and throwing his arms around Sasuke’s body in a tight embrace. His head was bent down to Sasuke’s shoulder, and Sasuke could have sworn that he heard him crying. 

 

Sasuke didn’t know what to say. Apparently, neither did Itachi, because the room stayed silent, except for his occasional cries. Eventually, though, Sasuke just couldn’t take the silence, and he whispered, “I-Itachi… I’m so sorry.” 

 

Itachi finally lifted his head and stepped back from Sasuke. “For what?” he asked. Sasuke nearly jumped when Itachi brushed the hair out of his face. This was strange. 

 

Sasuke forced himself to look away. He couldn’t do this. “For ruining your relationship. For coming back from Oto. F-for failing at everything, even fucking killing myself,” he said. He sniffled, and wait- when had his eyes grown glassy? 

 

There was a brief pause. Then, a gasp. “Please don’t say that. I-I know I’ve said some really awful things to you lately, but I never meant it. I still really care about you, okay? A-and I can’t even imagine what I would do if you weren’t here,” he said. 

 

Sasuke just couldn’t believe his brother. Not after everything that had happened. Sasuke didn’t even deserve his forgiveness. “You don’t have to lie, Itachi. It’s fine. I’m sorry I ruined your life,” he  murmured. 

 

Itachi let out a loud sob. “Sasuke, look at me!” He suddenly grabbed the underneath of Sasuke’s chin and forced his head up. “Stop apologizing! None of this is your fault! It’s all mine for pushing you to do this! And I am so sorry! I can’t even begin to explain how awful I feel for making you do this! Please don’t die on me, Sasuke! I love you! I always have and I always will!” he cried out. He hugged Sasuke again. His sobs were so loud, that they echoed throughout the room. Sasuke realized he had never seen his brother cry before. 

 

“B-but I ruined your life. You were so mad at me, and you should be. I should’ve never come back here,” Sasuke stammered. If only Itachi knew that there was more than one reason that he should have never come back to Konoha. 

 

“Stop saying that! And yes, I was mad at you, until I realized I was wrong and that it really isn’t worth losing you in the worst way possible! You mean so much to me, Sasuke, you don’t even understand,” Itachi sobbed. 

 

Sasuke sniffled. “Nobody wants me around. I-I shouldn’t be here,” he stammered out sadly. 

 

Itachi straightened up and placed his hand over top of Sasuke’s.  _ “I  _ want you here. You know you’re all I’ve got left, right? I have no idea what I’d do if you weren’t here. P-please don’t leave me,” he said. 

 

Sasuke had to pause for a while. Was Itachi being serious? He seemed awfully serious right now. Maybe he was forgiving Sasuke right now, even though he’d never understand why. But the reasoning didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they could go back to being brothers again. He sniffled and looked up at Itachi. “I won’t,” he whispered. 

 

Itachi smiled softly. It was so relieving to see his smile after so long. “Thank you,” he murmured. 

 

“There’s some things I need to tell you, though. Things I’ve been keeping secret from you,” Sasuke said. Now was finally his chance to be completely honest, and he was not going to pass that opportunity up. Itachi wouldn’t be mad, he was discovering. All that mattered was that he didn’t have to lie anymore. 

 

Itachi just raised an eyebrow. “What is it?” 

 

Sasuke sighed. He wanted to look down, but he forced himself to maintain eye contact. “I’m not going back to Oto. I won’t be going back to school there soon,” he said. 

 

“What? Are you dropping out of school? As much as I want to respect your decision, I just don’t think it’s a very good idea,” Itachi advised. 

 

“It’s not that. Remember how I said the whole school was on temporary leave?” Sasuke asked. Itachi nodded. “Well, that’s not true. It’s just me on leave, and it’s definitely not temporary. I-I got kicked out of school there so I will never be going back,” he explained. 

 

“What?” Itachi’s jaw dropped. “Why would they do that?” 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked away. This was the hardest thing to admit to. “I, uh… I was having a lot of mental issues while I was there. S-some kid was making fun of me for it… and the next thing I knew, I was on top of him and he had a broken nose. The headmaster had to lift me off of that guy, drag me to their office, until they finally decided to just expel me,” he said. 

 

Itachi still just looked shocked. Sasuke didn’t expect anything else; this was a lot to process. “How come you never told me?” he finally asked. 

 

This was the question that Sasuke had been dreading. He had completely expected this, but he still didn’t want to answer. He took another deep breath. “Because I didn’t want you to get mad at me. Then that thing with Deidara happened, and I didn’t want you to get even angrier at me,” he said, looking away again. 

 

“Why didn’t you tell me about your mental issues, either? All this time… and I never knew…”

 

“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I thought I could keep it under control but then you got so mad at me, and then Naruto left, and I just couldn’t take it anymore,” Sasuke said, without even thinking. 

 

“Wait. Who’s Naruto and what do you mean they left?” Itachi asked. 

 

There was already this fire in Itachi’s eyes that Sasuke only saw when he got really mad, and he didn’t even really know about Naruto yet. He was regretting even mentioning Naruto, because his brother didn’t need to know about him. “I-I didn’t mean to tell you about Naruto yet…” he mumbled. He could feel a blush creeping across his cheeks. Pathetic. 

 

“Too late, you already told me. Now, who the hell is Naruto?” Itachi demanded. 

 

Sasuke’s face must have been as red as a fucking tomato by now. He took a shaky deep breath. “Naruto was a guy that I went to high school with. I never knew him very well, but I guess he knew me. I saw him at the restaurant one day, and he started… flirting with me. I didn’t get it at first, but then I realized that there had to be a reason my heart would beat really fast whenever I served him ramen. So I started seeing him outside of the restaurant. I really liked him. Then, last night, he brought up the idea of having sex. For whatever reason, I went along with it. I brought him to our house once I knew that you were asleep and we had sex. I told him I loved him last night. But when I woke up, he wasn’t there. He didn’t answer any of my texts. He didn’t come to the restaurant, either. I came home, and you still wouldn’t talk to me, so I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore. And that’s how we got here,” Sasuke explained. 

 

Itachi was frowning. He was silent for a while, too, so Sasuke could only guess what was going on inside his head. “I’m sorry. Do you know why he just would’ve left like that?” Itachi finally asked. Sasuke could tell there were things he wasn’t saying. 

 

Sasuke just shook his head, though. “Maybe it’s because he finally realized I’m such a bad person,” he said sadly. “He realized I’m just unlovable.” 

 

“Don’t say that!” Itachi said immediately, his voice raising. Sasuke’s mouth just shut. “You’re not unlovable; you just haven’t found the right person yet! Besides, you’re better off without that Naruto guy! If he’s going to leave the morning after, then don’t waste your time with him.” 

 

“But he was the only person who ever made me feel that way,” Sasuke whimpered. Tears were building up behind his eyes again. 

 

“What way?” Itachi asked. 

 

“Like somebody actually loved me. It felt so good, but now it’s all gone,” Sasuke whimpered. 

 

Itachi wrapped his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder and squeezed him tight. “I know he was the first to love you romantically, but he’s not the only one who loves you. There’s me, there’s Kakashi, even all of his boyfriends. All three of them are actually in the waiting room right now,” he pointed out. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. Why would Kakashi, Gai, and Yamato all be here? “Really? Why are they all here?” he asked Itachi. 

 

“To see you, stupid. I can’t believe my own brother is this dumb,” Itachi said playfully. He poked Sasuke’s forehead, just like he used to do when they were kids. Sasuke almost smiled. 

 

Suddenly, Sakura was opening the door of the room. “I know you have first priority, Itachi, but do you think you could hurry this up? Kakashi-sensei’s getting pretty anxious to see his favorite student,” she said. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. Itachi sighed, but nodded. “It’s alright. I’ll be done soon, I promise,” he said. Sakura nodded, then left again. Turning back to his brother, Itachi sighed. “I guess I have to let Kakashi see you. Are you okay with seeing him?” he asked carefully. 

 

Sasuke nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be fine,” he insisted. 

 

The brothers were quiet for a few moments. But Sasuke couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened, and the tears just eventually began to overflow. He sniffled, and Itachi’s head snapped towards him. Sasuke latched his arms around Itachi’s body and letting out some muffled sobs. “I’m so sorry I put you through this, Itachi. But thank you for being able to forgive me,” he cried out. 

 

Slowly, Itachi’s arms wrapped around Sasuke in return. “It’s okay, Sasuke. I’m really just glad you’re alive,” he choked out. Sasuke could tell that his brother was going to cry again. 

 

They remained like that in the embrace for a little while. It was only once Sasuke had mostly stopped crying and he finally pulled away. “I guess you should let Kakashi in before he gets too worried. I don’t want him to worry about me, too,” Sasuke said. 

 

Itachi finally stood up. “Alright. I’ll go let him in,” he said. He smiled back at Sasuke one last time before he left the room. Sasuke was left feeling better about his brother than he had in a very long time. 


	24. You Are Loved

Moments later, the door reopened, and Sasuke was totally expecting it when Kakashi walked in, and immediately marched over to the bed and hugged Sasuke. Sasuke wasn't used to getting so many hugs. 

 

Fortunately, Kakashi didn't hold onto the hug for too long. So Sasuke was able to look up at him quickly and ask, “Kakashi, what are you doing here?” 

 

Kakashi scoffed. “Is that even a question? Did you think I'd just be sleeping when the kid that's like a son to me rotted away in a hospital room?” he hissed. 

 

Sasuke looked down. When he had made this decision, he didn't even think about how Kakashi would feel. Little did he know that it would hurt him so much. Because Sasuke had never seen very much emotion from him, but now his eyes were glassy and his hands were visibly shaking from worry. “I'm so sorry…” he murmured. 

 

Kakashi sighed, then sat down at the edge of the bed. “Don't be sorry. Just please… talk to me,” he said. “What's going on? Why did you do this?” 

 

Sasuke took a deep breath. He hated explaining all this, but Kakashi had a right to know. “Well… to put it simply… I got expelled from school, I got in a fight with Itachi and he didn't talk to me for a while, and then I slept with Naruto and he left me the next day without so much as a breakup text,” he said quickly. 

 

The room was silent for a little while. Sasuke finally looked back up at Kakashi, only to find him apparently deep in thought. “Wait, break it down for me,” he said. 

 

“I had a mental breakdown at school, broke a kid’s nose, and got expelled. I came home and I made the guy that Itachi liked hate him, so then Itachi hated me. And then I started talking to Naruto, and then we started dating, and then we had sex but the morning after, he was gone. I haven't seen him since,” Sasuke explained. He realized it was still vague, but he couldn't bring himself to go into more detail. 

 

“And that's why you…?” Kakashi asked. 

 

Sasuke looked away again. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “I'm so sorry.” 

 

“Stop apologizing. If anything, we should all be apologizing to you,” Kakashi said. 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Kakashi-sensei, you didn't even do anything,” he pointed out. 

 

“It doesn't matter. I'm sorry, Sasuke, that nothing seems to be working out. But that's okay. You're gonna get through this, and we're all gonna be there to help you through it,” Kakashi promised. 

 

Sasuke wished he could've smiled. “Thank you. But I'll be fine,” he said. “How did you even find out about this, anyway?” 

 

Kakashi scoffed again. “Did you think that Itachi wouldn't call me in tears to tell me about this?” he asked. 

 

At Kakashi's description of Itachi’s call, Sasuke's heart sank. His eyes were tearing up again. He felt so bad. “I… I didn't realize that I'd hurt him so badly,” he said sadly. “I thought he wouldn't care… I thought he wanted me dead…” 

 

When he blinked, one of his tears finally slid down his cheek. He felt so bad for doing this to everyone. He only looked up when Kakashi grabbed his hand. His eyes were dark with concern and he was frowning. “Sasuke… that’s not true. It might not mean much coming from me, but Itachi would  _ never  _ want you dead. He really does care about you, even though sometimes he just can’t show it,” Kakashi explained. 

 

Sasuke sniffled. “I just feel awful… I had no idea I’d be hurting so many people… I thought no one cared about me…” he whimpered. 

 

“It’s alright. You don’t have to feel bad. We’re all just so glad you’re alive,” Kakashi insisted. 

 

Sasuke just continued to cry. How was he supposed to not feel bad? “I’m so stupid,” he sobbed. 

 

Kakashi was squeezing his hand even tighter. “Don’t say that. It’s alright. No one’s mad at you, believe me,” he said. “But Sasuke? That fight with Itachi… it was pretty bad, huh?” Sasuke just nodded and wiped his eyes with his other hand. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me, okay? If anything happens to you and Itachi, you don't need to shut yourself away. Talk to me. There's people that love you, and they're not even hard to find. You used to tell me everything when you were ten, so you can do it now,” Kakashi pointed out. 

 

“That was ten years ago. And it's not that easy anymore,” Sasuke mumbled. 

 

“I know. It's a lot easier to just shut yourself away from everyone, and I get that. But that's how you get into situations like this, and then you feel even worse for worrying everyone. So please, just talk to me. Talk to  _ someone,”  _ Kakashi said. 

 

Sasuke figured he wasn’t getting anywhere by being too negative, so he just sighed and said, “I’ll try.” 

 

Kakashi just smiled and quickly hugged him. “That’s all I ask.  You're gonna be okay, alright?” he said. 

 

Sasuke just nodded and wiped his tears away. “I'm okay,” he said. 

 

“I'm gonna go ahead and go now, alright? Sakura said as soon as I left, she and Tsunade would run everything down for you and Itachi. Then you can go home, alright?” Kakashi said. Sasuke just nodded. “Alright. Stay safe, Sasuke. We all care about you, and I really wish you could see it,” Kakashi said. Sasuke said nothing more, so Kakashi just left the room. 

 

He could only take a few deep breaths before the door was opening yet again. This time, Tsunade marched into the room, followed by Sakura, who was leading a still-crying Itachi. Sasuke felt awful. Itachi sat at the foot of Sasuke's bed, while Tsunade searched through a folder. “Alright, so let's talk about what's going on here,” she said. She took a deep breath, then shut the folder. “I'd say it's fairly obvious. He just attempted suicide, you need to get him to see a therapist.” 

 

Itachi's eyes were clouded, but he still nodded. “Right, of course,” he said. 

 

“I'd also recommend getting him some medication, which can be prescribed by a therapist. The best way to fully heal someone with mental illness is medication and therapy,” Tsunade said. 

 

Itachi nodded again. “Okay.” 

 

She took another deep breath. “Another thing: I couldn't help but notice that he's severely underweight,” Tsunade said. Itachi's head turned over to look at Sasuke, his eyes wide. He looked so disappointed; Sasuke just had to look away. “I'm not going to delve into reasoning, because I think that's a conversation for him and his therapist. But it is important that you make sure he's eating enough and that he's not throwing it back up. You're the closest one to him, Itachi, you need to take care of him,” she said. 

 

“I will,” Itachi promised. “But do you think you could recommend a good therapist? I don't really know where to start looking.” 

 

Tsunade nodded. She found a piece of paper and pulled a pen out of her pocket, then scribbled something down on a it. She handed it to Itachi and said, “Here. That’s my friend Shizune’s contact information. She’s one of the best in the mental health field and I trust her implicitly. Give her a call.” 

 

“Thank you,” Itachi said, glancing down at the paper in his hands. 

 

“That's really all I have for you. So we'll go ahead and get ready for you guys to go, alright?” Tsunade said. All Sasuke could do was nod. 

 

**

 

It was quiet when they walked home. Itachi was still sniffling as they walked, but Sasuke chose not to comment on it. He just decided to keep quiet for a while. They got home, and Itachi shut the door without making a sound. He took a deep breath before he turned back to Sasuke. “You should probably get some rest,” he advised. The lights were off, but Sasuke didn’t need them on to tell that Itachi’s eyes were still glassy. 

 

Sasuke just nodded. He couldn’t disagree or anything. “Alright. But you should get some sleep, too,” he mumbled. 

 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine,” Itachi insisted. He reached out and poked Sasuke’s forehead. Sasuke almost teared up. “I’m just worried about you, okay? I love you. Please take care of yourself.” 

 

So much for not tearing up. He felt really dumb when he reached out and embraced his brother. Before he could stop himself, he was crying against Itachi’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry!” he sobbed. 

 

Itachi gently placed his hands on Sasuke’s back, rubbing it in soothing circles. “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m just so glad you’re okay,” he choked out. His voice was weak, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel awful for putting his brother through all of this. 

 

It took a few moments before Sasuke was finally able to lift his head again. His tears had mostly stopped, and he took a few steps back from Itachi. Showing this much emotion was pretty embarrassing for him. “Thank you, Itachi,” he whispered. 

 

Itachi smiled softly, and Sasuke could tell it was kind of hard for him. “You don’t have to thank me. I know I never really did anything for you,” he said, losing his smile. “But that’s going to change. I’m going to be there for you; I’m going to be a better brother. I promise.” 

 

Sasuke sniffled and wiped his eyes. He just nodded. There was nothing he felt he could say. “Well, I’m gonna go to bed. But uh… if you need me, feel free to wake me up. We can talk if you need to,” Itachi said. 

 

“Thanks. But I’ll probably just go to bed,” Sasuke mumbled. He turned towards the hallway and walked to his room. 

 

Itachi was right behind him. “Goodnight, Sasuke,” he said. 

 

Sasuke found it in himself to smile softly. “Goodnight,” he whispered before he went into his room and closed the door. 


	25. Healing

Sasuke woke up again to sunlight streaming through his window. This was strange. He must’ve been really tired last night. When he sat up, he saw the gauze pads wrapped around his wrists and he remembered everything. Yesterday, he had lost Naruto, attempted suicide, and made up with Itachi. Well, at least there was one good thing. His brother was the only real reason he forced himself to get out of bed. He didn’t even know what time it was. 

 

He walked out into the kitchen to make coffee when he saw that Itachi was already up. The clock on the microwave said 10:58. Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Shit, it’s that late already?” he said. 

 

The sound of his voice made Itachi turn around. There were dark circles under his eyes and his stress lines only seemed to have darkened. Still, he forced himself to smile. “Good morning, Sasuke,” Itachi said. He then turned back to work. 

 

Sasuke walked further into the kitchen and wiped his eyes. “What are you doing? Don’t we have to go to work soon?” he asked, before breaking off into a yawn. 

 

Itachi just smiled and didn’t look back up. “Well, for right now, I’m making rice balls so you have something to eat. And as for work, I will have to leave soon, yes. But not before I finish these rice balls,” he said. 

 

Sasuke couldn’t help but notice how Itachi only said that  _ he _ had to leave soon. He hadn’t said anything about Sasuke. “What about me? Don’t I have to go to work, too? Because I still need to shower and have coffee and if you’re making me eat something, I’m afraid I won’t have time,” he said. 

 

Still, Itachi wouldn’t look back up at Sasuke. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not going to work. It’d be absolutely cruel of me to make you go to work today after what happened last night,” he said. 

 

“Wait, what?” 

 

Itachi paused and looked back at Sasuke. His smile had fallen and the look in his eyes was quite melancholic. “Sasuke, I don’t want you to go into work today. Or at all this week. Actually, I’m not sure when to send you back. You need to take some time to heal properly, and I fear you won’t be able to do so if you have to worry about balancing a job,” he said. 

 

Sasuke didn’t know what to say. He still wasn’t very used to his brother being this kind to him. “You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine to go back to work,” he insisted. 

 

Itachi smiled, though there was sadness behind it. He put his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “I appreciate your tenacity, but I know you need time. Last night was… awful. And I never want you to go through something like that ever again. So if that means keeping you home from work just to soothe my worries, then I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you safe,” he promised. He blinked and glanced down at the floor, and that was when Sasuke realized that his brother’s eyes were glassy. 

 

Sasuke also looked down at the floor. He couldn’t stand to see Itachi look so sad. “Thank you, Itachi,” he said. 

 

Itachi sniffled, and looked back up. “Don’t thank me for treating you like a person. I-I made a lot of mistakes in a very short period of time, but I swear it’ll never happen again,” he said. 

 

Sasuke embraced his brother quickly. “I don’t care. Thank you,” he mumbled. 

 

Itachi was quiet for a few moments. They both just allowed for the time to pass for a little while before Itachi pushed Sasuke off of him. “That’s sweet, but I need to finish these rice balls. I know they’re your favorites, so please just eat them. I know you know what Tsunade said about you needing to eat. So start it now,” he said, turning back to the bowl of rice. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly. He chose not to say anything and he just moved along so he could finally make his coffee. He drank a sip of it, then moved back to the counter to sit down. 

 

He gazed at his wrists and the bandages all around them. He wasn’t proud of himself for this. He really wasn’t proud of how he’d made Itachi feel through all of this. He was used to feeling bad all the time, but he didn’t like to make other people feel that way. This whole thing wasn’t supposed to be the reason he made up with his brother. He put his head down on the table to rethink his life. 

 

“Hey, Sasuke? Are you okay?” Itachi was asking. He lifted his head to see Itachi glancing over his shoulder back at his brother. He looked so concerned for his brother, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel bad again. 

 

Sasuke sighed. “I’ve been better,” he said. Itachi was placing the rice ball in his hands back down on the table, then washing his hands. He slid the plate of rice balls across the counter to Sasuke, then sat down beside him. 

 

Itachi brushed the hair out of Sasuke’s face. “I know,” he murmured. “But you're going to get better.” Sasuke said nothing. Itachi looked up at the time on the microwave. “Oh, shit. I need to go get changed. You stay here and eat something,” he insisted. He made sure Sasuke was at least holding a rice ball before he turned back to go to his bedroom. 

 

Sasuke sighed and put his head back down on the table, nibbling a little on the rice ball. He lost track of the time before Itachi came out. He was carrying his shoes and he set them down on the floor. “Alright, I should really get going now,” Itachi said. He rested his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “You sure you'll be alright if I leave you here alone? Because I can stay home if you need me to.” 

 

“I'll be fine. I don't want to inconvenience you anymore,” Sasuke insisted. 

 

Itachi's face fell. “You won't be inconveniencing me, Sasuke. You're not a burden, I swear,” he said. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly. “You can go to work. I'll be fine,” he repeated. 

 

Itachi poked his forehead again. He was doing that a lot these days. “I'm sorry. I'll be home as soon as I can. Please take care of yourself. And please don't do anything stupid. I care about you,” he said. 

 

“You should get going,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“I know. I just want you to be safe. I'll see you later, then?” Itachi asked. Sasuke nodded. And so Itachi headed for the door. 

 

Once he was gone, Sasuke took another bite of the rice ball and forced himself to swallow it, though he wasn't very hungry. He didn't want to disappoint his brother anymore. 


	26. One Problem Solved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These next couple of chapters are really going to be more about Sasuke and Itachi and his healing process, so I'm sorry if it gets a little boring and repetitive, but I promise it'll pick back up again. Also we're getting close to the end! :)

Sasuke was sitting on the couch. The room was dark around him, and he wasn't about to get up to turn the lights on. It was pretty cold in the house, so Sasuke sat in a cocoon of blankets, rather than turning up the heater.  

 

It kept getting later and later, and Sasuke couldn’t help but get kind of worried. The restaurant closed at 9, and he knew better than anyone that some people stayed later than others, but it was past 10 now and Itachi still wasn’t home. And now that he had finally made up with his brother, he wouldn’t be able to handle it if something happened to him. He had to debate with himself a little bit before he finally decided to call his brother. 

 

It rang a few times and Sasuke’s heart was beating in his throat. But finally, Itachi picked up. “Sasuke, hi. Is everything okay?” Itachi said from the other line. 

 

“Hey, where are you? This is probably annoying, but it’s getting pretty late and maybe I’m a little worried, but I was just wondering where you are,” Sasuke said. He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking as badly as he thought it was. 

 

Itachi paused for a moment, but when he did speak, his voice sounded incredibly sad. “I’m sorry, Sasuke. Really, I am. Things were running a little busy here, and I stayed after for a while with Deidara. Hey, would it be okay if he came over and stayed the night?” he asked. At the end of his sentence, he started to sound a lot happier. What happened at the restaurant with Deidara? 

 

“Uh… I don’t care. But… I thought he was mad at you? Isn’t he mad you? Isn’t he mad at  _ me?” _ Sasuke asked. He was suddenly very afraid of what would happen if and when Deidara came to spend the night at their house. 

 

He could hear the smile in Itachi’s voice when he said, “No, no, we patched things up and I think we’re dating now, just so you know. But yeah, we’ll be home soon,” he said. 

 

“Oh, good for you,” Sasuke said. He hoped it didn’t sound sarcastic. 

 

“Thanks. I’ll see you soon. Bye,” Itachi said. 

 

“Bye,” Sasuke answered. He hung up and sighed. Itachi and Deidara not only made up, but were now dating? Well, Itachi’s life was certainly looking up right about now.  _ If only mine was… No, don’t think about that. Just be happy for Itachi,  _ Sasuke thought. He pushed the thought out of his head and looked at something dumb on his phone. 

 

It wasn’t very long before the door was opening, and Itachi was turning on the light and calling out, “Sasuke, I’m home!” Sasuke looked up, and sure enough, Itachi was standing in the doorway, grinning, and holding Deidara’s hand. 

 

“I know. You’re late, but I know you’re home,” Sasuke said, looking up. 

 

Sasuke decided to avoid looking at Deidara, because that would just be awkward, considering everything that had happened. But Itachi was walking towards him, and sitting on the couch beside him. His smile had dropped, and he asked, “Have you been okay?” His voice was so gentle. 

 

Sasuke just shrugged. “Yeah, I guess. I just slept a lot. It was kind of nice to not have anything to do,” he murmured, looking away. 

 

“That’s good, because you’re not coming back to work until you’ve been healed,” Itachi insisted. There was this fire in his eyes, that made Sasuke not want to argue with his reasoning. Still, he did roll his eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t want you to overdo anything. Anyway, show me your arms,” Itachi added. 

 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Why? They’re all covered in gauze anyway,” he pointed out. 

 

“I have to make sure you don’t do anything stupid today,” Itachi explained. “Please.” 

 

“I guess you don’t trust me, then,” Sasuke sighed, finally moving his arms out of his cozy blanket cocoon. 

 

Itachi’s face fell. “I’m sorry, Sasuke, but I really don’t,” Itachi murmured as he rolled up the sleeves of Sasuke’s long sleeved black sweater. Sure enough, they both stared down at the gauze wrapping, with a few scars on his left arm peeking out above. It looked just like it did when he’d left the hospital. “Okay, you’re good. Sorry if that was weird, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” he said. 

 

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. “Stop doing that,” he said. 

 

Itachi looked confused. “Stop doing what?” he asked. 

 

“Stop being weird. You’re not my mom; you’re my brother,” Sasuke said. 

 

“I’m the closest thing to a mom you’ve got,” Itachi hissed, poking Sasuke’s forehead. 

 

Sasuke leaned his head back against the couch. That was when he realized that Deidara was still standing back by the door, just looking kind of uncomfortable. He was kind of staring, and he didn’t realize that until Itachi followed his gaze. “Oh, I told Dei about what happened. I hope that’s okay,” Itachi said. 

 

Sasuke just shrugged. “No, it’s fine. If he’s your  _ boyfriend  _ now, then I guess he gets to know everything,” he said. He looked past Itachi’s shoulder at Deidara and said, “You can come in, you know. You don’t have to just stand there at the door.” 

 

Itachi scooted over towards Sasuke and patted the area of the couch next to him. “You’ve got small hips, you can fit,” he insisted. Deidara smiled softly and moved over to sit in the small space between Itachi and the arm of the couch. It was silent for a moment, and that made Sasuke a little uncomfortable. Fortunately, though, Itachi was clearing his throat and saying, “Well, I don’t really wanna go to bed right now. You guys wanna watch TV or something?” Sasuke and Deidara exchanged a glance before they both shrugged and nodded. 

 

Itachi turned on something that didn’t really interest Sasuke, so he just turned back to his phone. He wasn’t paying a bit of attention to his brother, who had his arm around his new boyfriend, until he spoke up and said, “Sasuke, it’s really cold in here. You gonna share any of those blankets?” 

 

Sasuke kept a completely straight face when he said, “No.” 

 

Itachi just stared at him for a moment. “Uh… you sure? We have a  _ guest  _ and that’s quite rude,” he said. 

 

Deidara was playfully hitting Itachi’s chest. “Don’t tell him that. I don’t want him to act all weird around me, hm,” he said. 

 

“Yeah, so I’m just gonna treat you exactly like I would treat Itachi,” Sasuke said. “And that means neither of you are getting my blankets.” 

 

Itachi sighed very loudly to let everyone know he was pissed. “I guess I’ll have to go get my own blanket,” he hissed before stalking back to his bedroom. 

 

The silence was quite awkward, since Sasuke wasn’t really on the best of terms with Deidara. He had said some awful things to him in the midst of his downfall, and he couldn’t help but feel bad for it. Especially since he was now dating Itachi, and that probably meant he’d be over a lot, and so Sasuke would have to be around him a lot. And Sasuke honestly hated this tension, so that was why he finally spoke up and murmured, “I’m sorry.” 

 

Deidara snapped his head over at the sound of Sasuke’s voice. Sasuke was sort of expecting him to say something assholish, but he just looked kind of confused. For once, Sasuke didn’t get a bad vibe from him. “For what?” Deidara asked simply.  _ So far, so good.  _

 

Sasuke had to take a deep breath and break off eye contact with Deidara. He wasn’t good at these kinds of things. “I’m sorry for saying that Itachi called you a slut, and then also calling you a slut myself. It was out of line and not true, and I feel really bad about it. Also, I’m sorry that Itachi dragged you into my whole mess here,” he said, looking down. 

 

“It’s okay, hm. Itachi’s not forcing me to do this, and since he cares about you and I care about him, then I guess that means I care about you, too,” Deidara said. When Sasuke looked up with wide eyes, there was actually a soft smile on the other man’s face. “And as for the slut thing, it’s fine. You didn’t know, and I guess I did overreact quite a bit. But, uh… thanks for apologizing, hm.” 

 

Sasuke returned his faint smile, but he didn’t get the chance to say anything else because that was when Itachi walked up and, quite literally, threw a fleece blanket on top of Deidara. “I could only find one blanket, so you’re gonna have to share with me, Dei,” he said. He turned towards Sasuke and shouted, “Because sharing is fucking caring!” It took him a few minutes to realize that he walked in on a situation, because he froze, sighed, and said, “I just walked in on something, didn’t I?” 

 

“Yeah,” Deidara said, taking the blanket off his head and looked back at his boyfriend. 

 

Itachi winced. “Bad something or good something?” he asked. 

 

“Good something, hm,” Deidara answered. 

 

“Oh, thank god,” Itachi said. He sat back down on the couch and covered himself and Deidara with the blanket. “Let’s watch some fucking Chopped!” 


	27. Serenity

Sasuke woke up once the sun was up again. If this was his new schedule, he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Still, he decided not to lay around in bed all day and be alone with his thoughts, so he got up and walked out to the kitchen. 

 

He was expecting to be alone, but Itachi was sitting at the counter, drinking some coffee. Itachi waved as he saw Sasuke. “Morning,” he murmured once he set the coffee cup down. He didn’t look nearly as tired as he did yesterday morning, but he still sounded sleepy. But Sasuke figured that Itachi was never really well rested. 

 

“Where’s Deidara?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Itachi shrugged. “He’s still sleeping,” he answered. “So how are you doing?” 

 

Sasuke shrugged this time. “I’ve been better. But I’ve also been worse,” he said. 

 

“Figures,” Itachi said, taking a sip of his coffee. He swallowed, but then yawned. “God, I am so tired,” he commented. 

 

Sasuke just scoffed. “Still? Because you fell asleep on the couch last night and Deidara had to literally drag you off to bed,” he said. 

 

Itachi bit his lip. “Is that what happened?” he asked. Sasuke nodded and smirked. Itachi shrugged. “I’m a tired man, Sasuke. I didn’t get much sleep the night before last.” 

 

Sasuke looked down at his hands at the mention of that night. He’d kept Itachi up for a while waiting in the hospital. Which wasn’t completely fair to him. And it was all Sasuke’s fault. He didn’t want to get sad again, but he couldn’t help that tone from creeping into his voice when he murmured, “Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to keep you up.” 

 

“Are you kidding me? It’s not your fault. I just felt so guilty that I did that to you that I felt I didn’t deserve to sleep,” Itachi said. He reached out across the table and put his hand over top of Sasuke’s. 

 

“I’m sorry for making you feel that way,” Sasuke mumbled. He could barely look up at his brother. 

 

“Don’t worry about it and stop apologizing. It’s still not your fault. It’s Naruto’s fault,” Itachi said.

 

Sasuke brought himself to smile softly again. “Can you really say that, though? You’ve never even met him,” he pointed out. 

 

“He broke my little brother’s heart. I can say whatever I want about him,” Itachi said with sheer confidence. 

 

Sasuke didn’t respond. As pathetic as it probably was, he didn’t really want to say anything bad about Naruto. As badly as it had hurt when he’d left, he still really liked him. He’d probably even go as far as to say that he loved him still. One doesn’t just get over feelings like these easily. Sasuke wasn’t angry at Naruto, no, he was just terribly upset. 

 

“You still love him, don’t you?” Itachi asked suddenly, ripping Sasuke away from his thoughts. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes went wide as he stared back at his brother. “Why would you say that?” he asked. 

 

“You just got really quiet. I can tell you’re thinking about him,” Itachi said. 

 

“You don’t know that.”

 

“Yes, I do. It’s an older brother thing,” Itachi said with a smile. 

 

Sasuke looked away again. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like he’s coming back anyway. He hates me,” he said. 

 

Itachi sighed. “I can’t tell you how he feels. All I know is that it was a dick move on his part to leave the day after like that. But if I ever see him, oh, you know I won’t go easy on him. I’ll have everyone at the restaurant looking out for him. What’s he look like?” he asked. 

 

“Messy blond hair, blue eyes, about my height. He’s got three little scars on each of his cheeks that look like whiskers. He wears a lot of orange. He doesn’t look like it, but he’s actually pretty muscular, too,” Sasuke said. 

 

Itachi nodded and somehow took in all of that information. “We’ll find him, Sasuke. And we’ll figure all this out. I promise,” he said. 

 

“Thanks, Itachi,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“No problem. What kind of brother would I be if I didn’t help you in all of this? Now, did you want some breakfast?” 


	28. Brotherly Bonding

Sasuke was wrapped up in a big blanket and laying down on the couch. Now that Itachi wasn’t letting him go to work, Sasuke had literally nothing to do. And with Itachi gone for nine hours a day, Sasuke would actually get pretty lonely. He only lifted his head when he heard the sound of the door opening. 

 

“Sasuke!” Itachi shouted as he walked through the door. “I tried to leave as early as possible. I hope you’re not tired, though, because we’re having movie night!” 

 

“Movie night?” Sasuke echoed. “You never do anything with me, but now we’re having movie night?” 

 

Itachi smiled and closed the door, then walked into the apartment. He ungraciously moved Sasuke’s feet and sat down in their place. Sasuke grunted softly and rested his feet back up on Itachi’s lap instead. “Sasuke… how are you feeling?” Itachi asked, his tone turning gentle. 

 

Sasuke shrugged, even though he knew Itachi couldn’t see it. “I’m fine, I guess,” he murmured. 

 

“You guess?” 

 

“Y-yeah. I just got really bored when you were gone. I really wish you’d let me go back to work so I could actually  _ do _ something,” Sasuke hissed. 

 

Itachi sighed. “Yeah, I know. But I just don’t want you push things too far. I want you to stay safe, and I want you to make a full recovery, too.” 

 

“Alright,” Sasuke muttered. 

 

“Movie night! Sasuke, get off of me,” Itachi said suddenly, shoving Sasuke’s legs off of him. 

 

Sasuke groaned and curled up in fetal position while Itachi stood up. “What are we watching?” he asked lazily. 

 

“Well, I don’t have the entire list planned out, but I was thinking we would start with  _ Nightmare Before Christmas,”  _ Itachi announced. He was rummaging through their stack of movies, looking for the right one. 

 

_ “Nightmare Before Christmas?”  _ Sasuke repeated. He raised his head up a bit, staring at his brother. 

 

Itachi turned around and smiled. “Yes. You’re such a basic emo, Sasuke, I know it’s your favorite,” he answered, then turned back to his search. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly, but stayed silent. He just watched as his brother found the movie, then put it in and turned on the TV. He turned back to sit down, sighed, and said, “Sasuke, sit up. I’d like to sit down.” 

 

Reluctantly, Sasuke sat up, but stayed in his cocoon of a blanket. “You’re not going to share any blankets with me again?” Itachi asked, staring at Sasuke. Sasuke shook his head and the blanket a little tighter around himself. “Well, fuck you, too,” Itachi growled. He stood up and left the living room in pursuit of another blanket, presumably. 

 

The menu was already on the screen by the time Itachi came back with a blanket draped over his shoulders. “Sasuke, you couldn’t at least press play for me or anything?” he was saying as he sat down next to his brother. 

 

“I didn’t want to start it without you,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

Itachi sighed and pressed play. “I’ve seen this movie so many times, so I’m really not missing anything.” 

 

“If you’ve seen it so many times, then why are we watching it now?” 

 

“Because it’s your favorite.” 

 

The sounds of “This is Halloween” filled the room, and Sasuke stayed silent in the wake of his brother’s comment. Yes, this was Sasuke’s favorite movie, but Itachi hadn’t really cared about that in years. Was it because he knew that Sasuke wanted to kill himself that Itachi was being so nice to him? Sasuke’s knees were tucked up to his chest already, and as his thoughts continued to darken, he tucked his head down to meet his knees. 

 

Unfortunately, Itachi’s watchful gaze did not miss the change in Sasuke’s body language. “Sasuke? Are you alright?” Itachi asked gently. He placed his hand lightly on Sasuke’s shoulder, causing him to jump. 

 

Sasuke lifted his head again, glancing up at his brother. Itachi looked so concerned, and Sasuke couldn’t help but feel bad. “Why are you being so nice to me?” he asked suddenly. 

 

Itachi just stared at him blankly. “What is that supposed to mean? We’re brothers, Sasuke, and we only have each other. Why shouldn’t we be nice to each other?” 

 

Sasuke looked away. “I’ve just been awful to you ever since I got back. I got in a fight with Deidara and made him hate you. And I’ve caused you so much trouble with my depression and dropping out of school, and now I can’t even work,” he confessed. 

 

Itachi sighed. “Sasuke, I should’ve never let you go away to Oto. It was stupid to send you so far away when you were so unstable. And your depression is not a problem. You are going to get better, though, I promise you,” Itachi swore. “And you know that Dei and I are cool now. We’ve talked it out and he’s not mad at either of us anymore. It’s all okay.” 

 

Sasuke nodded, though he looked away from Itachi’s eyes. “I-I told Dei about what was going on with you. I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of tell him everything. I know, to you, it looked like we only ever slept together, but I was always able to talk to him, and he would listen. So he understood, and he’s not mad at you. I swear,” Itachi added. 

 

“I honestly never thought you had that kind of relationship with him. I always just thought you guys just banged and that was it,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

Itachi chuckled. “No. There’s much more to him than just a hot body,” he commented. 

 

Sasuke sighed loudly. “Itachi, I have asked you many times not to talk about your sex life,” he said. 

 

“You know, Sasuke, you’re free to talk about your sex life any time. Now that you have one, anyway,” Itachi pointed out. 

 

Sasuke sighed again and looked back at the screen. “What sex life?” he grumbled. 

 

Itachi chuckled again. “The one time you’ve actually had sex. Just because it was only once doesn’t mean you can’t talk about it,” he advised. 

 

Sasuke tucked his head down to his knees. “There’s nothing to say,” he countered softly. 

 

“Oh,” Itachi murmured, his voice softening. “Sasuke, are you-” 

 

“Have you seen him?” Sasuke interrupted suddenly. “Has he been in since I’ve been gone?” 

 

“Sasuke, you’ve only been out of work for a week,” Itachi pointed out. At Sasuke’s desperate look, Itachi just sighed. “No, I’m sorry. I told every server to look out for him, but no one’s seen Naruto. I’m sorry.” 

 

_ No one’s seen Naruto.  _ Itachi’s words echoed in Sasuke’s head. “Oh,” he whispered. Sasuke sighed. Right now, he was really wishing he could see Naruto again. He wanted to ask why he left without a word, why he wasn’t answering Sasuke’s texts or calls, why he wouldn’t even go to the restaurant again. But most of all, Sasuke wanted to curl up by his side; to kiss his lips; or to even have sex with him again. But Naruto didn’t seem to want anything to do with him ever again. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes teared up. Why had Naruto left so abruptly? Did he really hate Sasuke  _ that  _ much? If so, then what was all that flirting for? Had he wanted Sasuke to fall head over heels for him just so he could leave him heartbroken? 

 

Sasuke sniffled, and Itachi, whose eyes had been trained on the screen, snapped his head to look over at him. He sighed and reached over to wipe Sasuke’s tears from his cheeks. “You know, I put on your favorite movie so you  _ wouldn’t  _ start crying,” Itachi said with mock annoyance. But Sasuke could feel his lower lip trembling, and it was only a few seconds before he finally broke down and sobbed. 

 

“I’m sorry, Sasuke,” Itachi whispered, placing his hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Naruto went M.I.A. after you fell in love with him. I’m sorry I even brought him up just now, damn. But crying about it is not going to do any good. You just have to accept that you made a mistake and at least try to get over him. It was wrong, what he did, but crying about it won’t make him come back. Maybe you just need a rebound guy,” he suggested brightly. 

 

Sasuke lifted his head and wiped his eyes. “I don’t want a rebound guy,” he growled. 

 

“Alright, fine. But don’t cry. You just need to wait to find the right guy,” Itachi offered instead. Sasuke must have looked full of disbelief, because Itachi sighed and continued, “Like, it took me a while to find my Deidara. And then it took me even longer to realize that I liked him for more than just his hot body and a good fuck.” 

 

Sasuke sighed. “I just don’t think I’ll ever find anyone like that,” he muttered bitterly. 

 

“Don’t say that.” 

 

“I don’t want to talk about me anymore,” Sasuke interjected suddenly. “Let’s talk about you instead. You a-and Deidara. I don’t even know how you guys met or started fucking or anything.” 

 

Itachi sighed. “Well… let’s see… it was after you left for Oto, so the restaurant was really understaffed. So I hired a lot of new people and fired all the old ones. Everyone who works there now was just employed at this time, except for Dei. I hadn’t planned on hiring anyone else, but one day after hours, I was locking up and that was when Dei came up to me. He asked if I was still hiring, and I said sure, since I didn’t really want to turn away extra help if I could get it. 

 

“He had his resume and gave it to me, but I didn’t want to really take extra time and call him back or anything, so I let him inside and looked it over. Honestly, it was not very impressive, so I had him sit down so I could talk to him. I asked if he had any restaurant experience, and he said no. So I was like, ‘then why the hell should I hire you?’ and he was like, ‘if you hire me, I’ll give you a blowjob,’” Itachi said. 

 

Sasuke wrinkled his nose. “Oh my god, you did not,” he gasped out. 

 

Itachi smirked. “Oh my god, I did,” he echoed. “I was young, stupid, and not a whole lot of people were offering to blow me, you know? So I figured, ‘why the hell not? I’m horny and he’s a hot college dropout who probably really needs a job.’ So I said, ‘okay,’ and I found out he’s really good at giving blowjobs, so I hired him,” Itachi explained. 

 

Sasuke sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I literally cannot believe you right now,” he said and shook his head. 

 

Itachi chuckled. “Sure. Just pretend like you weren’t expecting me to say something dumb like this,” he said. 

 

Sasuke sighed and glanced back towards the screen. His head was now full of gross visuals, much to his dismay. He felt weird about leaving it on that note, so he said, “Well, I’m glad you guys finally made up.” 

 

He could feel Itachi staring at him. When he looked back, Itachi was smiling. “Is that your way of giving us your blessing?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke scoffed. “You don’t need my blessing.” 

 

“Either way, it means a lot,” Itachi said. Sasuke turned back to the screen. 

 

There weren’t words to describe how glad he felt that he had his brother back. 


	29. Better Friends

Sasuke’s days all seemed to run together. Some days he would clean parts of the apartment just to do something, but then he’d run out of stuff to clean. It was incredibly boring being out of work, and while he did appreciate Itachi’s thinking of him and the chance to relax, he rather despised feeling so useless and unproductive. 

 

It had to be at least a week or two since it had all gone down, but Sasuke didn’t really have a reason to know the date anymore, so time just seemed to meld together. But one day he was laying on the couch and looking up skin care routines on his phone when someone knocked on the door. 

 

Only three people ever walked into this apartment. There was Sasuke, but he was here all the time. Then there was Itachi, who only came home late after his shifts and not at noon on a Tuesday, and Deidara, who came in with Itachi and left with him, too. 

 

It was noon on a Tuesday, someone was knocking on the door, and Sasuke was awfully confused. The situation wasn’t right for anyone to be here, yet someone was knocking at the door. 

 

Sasuke didn’t move for a moment. Maybe it was just a solicitor, and if Sasuke never answered, then they’d go away eventually. But when the knocking began again and was more persistent, Sasuke realized he was going to have to drag his ass off the couch and answer the door. 

 

When he did, he really wasn’t expecting to see Sakura Haruno standing behind it with a pleasant smile on her face and a bag of something in her hands. “Hi, Sasuke! Can I come in?” she asked. 

 

Sasuke didn’t say anything, so he just moved to let her in. Her appearance here was incredibly shocking to Sasuke and he wasn’t sure how to respond to it. When he closed the door and she set the bag down on the counter, he finally decided to voice his thoughts. “What are you doing here?” he asked. “How do you even know where I live?” 

 

“I was at your restaurant, and I got talking to Itachi about you. He said you were doing better, and I just wanted to see for myself. Also I brought muffins,” Sakura said, gesturing to the bag on the counter. Sasuke raised an eyebrow. 

 

“Well, I’m fine, I guess,” Sasuke said. It wasn’t a lie, but nothing eventful ever happened to him, so it was all just quite boring. 

 

Sakura never stopped smiling. “Well, that’s good,” she said. When Sasuke didn’t respond, she sighed and her face fell. “You know, Sasuke, I know we kind of got off on a weird foot since you came back from Oto. All Ino and I ever seemed to care about was your relationship, if you had had one, and we weren’t being too great of friends. So I’m here to apologize. And to say that if you need a friend, a  _ real  _ friend, I’m here,” she explained. 

 

Sasuke was shocked, to say the least. He remembered when Sakura was in high school and she’d had the biggest crush on Sasuke. Honestly, she had been so annoying back then that once Sasuke left for Oto, he had never really wanted to see her again. But now she was in his house, proposing that they be friends? It was strange, yes, but not unwelcome. Everyone said he needed a strong support system, so now he was building one. 

 

He couldn’t help it when he smiled softly. “Thanks,” he said. 

 

Sakura went back to beaming at him. “I’m afraid I’m pretty busy today, but some other time, if you wanna go grab a coffee or go see a movie, you can just text me. Or if you need to rant to someone, I’m always open. I’m here for you, Sasuke. I always will be,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. 

 

“I’ll let you know,” Sasuke said. “I don’t want to keep you from whatever you have to do, so you can go when you have to. Thanks for stopping by, and thanks for the muffins.” 

 

“It’s no problem. But I will admit, the muffins are store bought. I really can’t cook,” Sakura said with a chuckle. “Alright, I’ll get out of your hair. Have fun inside and remember to text me! We can share memes or something dumb like that!” She was already on her way to the door. 

 

Sasuke smiled at her for probably one of the first times ever. “See you later,” he said with a wave. She closed the door as she left. Sasuke was still smiling. 


	30. Is It Better?

Sasuke was getting by. He had already been in to see his new therapist a few times. He couldn’t exactly say whether or not it was helping, since he’d only had a few visits with her. But he was feeling a lot better now that he had his brother back. And now that he was making better friends than he’d had before this. 

 

And he tried not to think about Naruto. Although it never really worked. 

 

Naruto just seemed to always work himself back into Sasuke’s brain. Sasuke didn’t want to think about him, but it happened anyway, and then he’d be crying on the couch. It wasn’t like he had much to occupy his time with now that Itachi wouldn’t let him work. The free time was nice, but it was still incredibly dull. Sasuke wanted something better. Much better. 

 

Better never seemed to happen. 

 

He’d made friends with Deidara, sort of. Considering Sasuke’s awkward nature and everything that had happened previously, they weren’t super close. Sasuke didn’t talk to him a whole lot. But whenever Itachi brought him over, it was never uncomfortable. They had a mutual understanding of each other, and Sasuke was content with that. And Itachi seemed to be coping so much better with Deidara as his actual boyfriend, and Sasuke couldn’t help but be happy for them, if not a little jealous. 

 

But Itachi’s being around Deidara and their relationship just made Sasuke miss Naruto even more. 

 

No matter how much time passed, Sasuke just couldn’t make peace with the fact that Naruto was gone. 


	31. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while since I last updated this. Sorry about that. School's just been kicking my ass recently and editing this wasn't exactly my first priority, but I should be back on track to finish this out. Also thank you all so much for over 200 kudos because I still don't understand why anyone reads this lol. But it really does mean a lot. :)

Sasuke wasn’t expecting a knock at the door. Itachi had a key, and it was a couple hours too early for him to be here. So Sasuke nearly didn’t get up off the couch to go see who it was. But then the person behind the door started knocking a lot faster and a lot harder, and absolutely would not let up. Sasuke sighed and got off the couch. He was gonna kill whoever this was. 

 

He opened the door and was thoroughly shocked. Standing behind the door was Naruto. 

 

Sasuke gasped when he saw him. It had been weeks since he’d last seen Naruto. He thought Naruto hated him or something after he’d gone MIA. But yet here was Naruto, looking pretty angry with a new bruise on his left cheek. Sasuke couldn’t move or say anything, so Naruto spoke first. 

 

“I know what you did.” 

 

Sasuke didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. He was still just so surprised to find Naruto standing outside his door. What the hell was Naruto doing here? 

 

“Aren’t you going to say something? Or let me in? Or do something?” Naruto asked. There was a bit of a growl to his voice that Sasuke didn’t understand. 

 

But Sasuke eventually snapped out of his daze, blinked a few times, and stepped back so Naruto could come inside. Naruto did, and Sasuke let the door slam behind him, more out of shock than anything. “What are you doing here?” Sasuke finally asked. 

 

Naruto looked like he wanted to smirk, but forced himself not to. “I’m here to see you. I know what you did,” he repeated. 

 

That statement still confused Sasuke the second time he heard it. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

 

Suddenly, Naruto grabbed Sasuke’s wrists. He rolled down the sleeve of his left arm and exposed the fading scars from that night. Oh. Naruto knew about Sasuke’s suicide attempt. Sasuke didn’t say anything. What the hell was he supposed to say to something like that? 

 

“Well? Say something! Tell me why you would do something so stupid! I-I can’t even imagine what the hell you must have been thinking!” Naruto shouted. 

 

Sasuke maintained eye contact with the other. “Why don’t you tell me why you left? Why you left the morning after I told you I loved you? And then you disappeared for weeks on end without so much as a breakup text?” he hissed back. 

 

“This isn’t about me!” Naruto cried out. He had lost his glare and he just looked incredibly… desperate? Why was he having so many feelings about this? “This is about you! You and… your problem! Now tell me why you did it!” 

 

Sasuke scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? You can’t just abandon me for weeks without a word then come back and expect me to just tell you everything like nothing’s wrong!” he shouted. 

 

Naruto’s face just dropped. Sasuke couldn’t figure out why he looked so upset, but he didn’t care. Naruto had hurt him too many times and he just didn’t care to know what the hell Naruto was so upset about. He just looked away and when Naruto didn’t say anything, he just scoffed again and said, “Why the hell are you here anyway?” 

 

“Because I’m so fucking worried!” Naruto cried out. Time seemed to stop. Naruto was…  _ worried?  _ All Sasuke could do was stare. That didn’t make any sense. Naruto left so how could he be worried? 

 

Maybe there were tears in Sasuke’s eyes. Maybe this situation was just so frustrating that tears were forming in his eyes. “How can you be worried? You left me alone. You hurt me more times than I can count. And now you show up here and cry to me about how worried you are? That’s fucked up; what were you even thinking?” Sasuke hissed. 

 

“I had to see you,” Naruto breathed out. “I have to talk to you. Please just talk to me. What the hell were  _ you _ thinking? Did you think I wouldn’t care?” When Sasuke crossed his arms and nodded, Naruto’s face fell. “How could you think that? When I found out, I had to see you. I was so scared.” 

 

Sasuke blinked, and that was when the tears rolled down his cheeks. In all of this, he had never once imagined that Naruto would care at all about him. He hadn’t imagined that  _ anyone  _ would care, actually. When he began to cry, it was from the realization that he had hurt so many people in this. That this had all been a mistake. 

 

Sasuke hadn’t meant to hurt Naruto so badly. Sasuke couldn’t help it anymore when he squeezed his eyes shut and let out a loud sob. “I fucked up, I fucked up,” he murmured. 

 

Naruto was gently shushing him. “Don’t say that. Just… just be quiet,” Naruto said. He sounded really upset. 

 

For whatever reason, Sasuke listened to him. He didn’t say anything; he just stood there, covered his face with his hands and kept crying. Suddenly, Naruto grabbed his arms and pulled them away from his face. “Stop crying,” he said. That just made Sasuke cry a little bit more. Naruto sighed, then grabbed Sasuke in a tight hug. “Don’t cry. Because when you cry, I cry,” Naruto said. For the first time, he sniffled. And Sasuke was overcome with guilt. 

 

“I’m so sorry! I-I’m so sorry!” Sasuke cried. “I-I never…” He couldn’t take these feelings of guilt anymore. 

 

Naruto was shushing him again. “C-can we talk? Okay?” he asked. Sasuke nodded. That was when Naruto let go of him, and when Sasuke noticed the tear drops running down his face. “What the hell were you thinking? W-why would you do something like that?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke wiped his eyes. “Why don’t you just say it? I attempted suicide. Just say it; it’s fine,” he said. He was tired of people trying to treat this so delicately. 

 

Naruto just stared at Sasuke for a moment. He took a deep breath. “Why would you try to kill yourself?” he asked. His voice was soft and it made him cry a little bit more. 

 

“You were gone. You were my only friend. I loved you. Then you left without a word and I couldn’t talk to you at all. I missed you. I did it because I was so upset that you would leave me and I had no one left, and so I thought nobody would be around me anymore, so that’s why I did it,” Sasuke explained. 

 

Naruto’s eyes widened. He looked absolutely horrified. “Fuck!” he swore, grabbing his head in his hands. If Sasuke thought he was crying before, it was nothing compared to now. He was sobbing really loudly now. It made Sasuke feel a lot guiltier. “Fuck! How could I even come back here when…? I-I never wanted to…!” 

 

Sasuke was feeling really upset and he couldn’t bear to see Naruto beating himself up over this. Stop it! I didn’t try to kill myself because of you!” he shouted. It made Naruto look up at him again with wide eyes. Sasuke sniffled. “I did it because I was alone and Itachi still wouldn’t talk to me, a-and because I just didn’t feel comfortable at all,” he said. 

 

Naruto shook his head. “No, I should’ve been there for you! I was supposed to be your boyfriend, but I just left you for my own fucking selfish reasons! I should’ve been there; I-I should’ve prevented this! It’s all my fault!” he cried out 

 

Sasuke moved towards Naruto, watching his eyes water. He put his hands over top of Naruto’s and pulled them away from his head. “It’s not your fault. I-it probably would’ve happened eventually anyway. Y-you probably shouldn’t have gotten involved with me; t-there’s so much wrong with me…” he said. 

 

“No, no… I could’ve helped you! I-I should’ve been around… Please forgive me,” Naruto begged. 

 

“Only if you can forgive me,” Sasuke said. Naruto raised an eyebrow. “I never even imagined that you’d come back or t-that you’d even care.  _ I  _ was wrong,  _ I  _ was selfish, I never even thought about how you’d feel.” 

 

Naruto reached out and brushed Sasuke’s tears away. “Don’t worry about me. B-but I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll be with you, I promise, okay?” he said. Sasuke nodded. 

 

“C-can I ask you something, though?” Sasuke said. 

 

“Of course.” 

 

“Why did you leave? It’s bad enough that you weren’t there the morning after, but then I never even saw you at the restaurant. I tried to call you, I tried to text you, but you never answered me,” Sasuke said. He tried not to cry again. 

 

Naruto looked so guilty. “Uh, god, it was so selfish… Do you remember what you told me that night? T-the last time I saw you before this?” he asked. 

 

Sasuke looked away. He wasn’t sure why Naruto was bringing this up now. “I told you I loved you,” he murmured. 

 

“Do you remember how I didn’t say anything to that?” 

 

“How could I forget?” 

 

Naruto frowned. That was probably another thing he felt bad about. “I-I didn’t mean to not say anything, you know? I-I wanted to tell you that I loved you, too,” Naruto admitted. 

 

Sasuke’s eyes widened. “Then why wouldn’t you say it back? Do you have any idea-” 

 

“Yes! I know how bad it must have hurt you! B-but I didn’t tell you that b-because I didn’t want to admit it to myself,” Naruto said. “I didn’t want to get attached to you and be in love with you because I knew you were leaving in something like a week. I-I didn’t want to get hurt when you left me for Oto. It was completely selfish of me, and I should’ve just said I loved you and just stayed with you until the end. I-I was so stupid.” 

 

Sasuke sighed and looked down. “It’s okay,” he said. “But I actually need to talk to you about that.” 

 

Naruto nodded. “Let’s go sit down for a while, okay?” he said. Sasuke nodded. Naruto took his hand and lead him over to the couch. Sasuke sat on one side of the couch with his feet up and Naruto sat on the other. By now they had both seemed to calm down a little, and neither was crying anymore. “So, what’s going on, Sas?” 

 

Sasuke sighed. At least he didn’t have to worry about disappointing Naruto like he did with Itachi. “I’m not going back to Oto. I was expelled from my college,” he admitted. 

 

Naruto’s eyes widened. “You’re kidding! You graduated at the top of our class; you can’t just get expelled!” he hissed. 

 

Sasuke smiled softly and looked down. “It wasn’t because of my academics that I was expelled. I-I kept having these mental breakdowns, and when someone finally said something about it, I ended up tackling a kid to the floor and breaking his nose. Nobody ever knows what to do with mental illness, so they just expelled me,” he explained. 

 

It was before Sasuke had even finished speaking that Naruto was shifting forward and taking Sasuke into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he said. Sasuke let his head fall against Naruto’s shoulder. When Naruto sat back, he asked, “So what will you do now?” 

 

Sasuke looked away. He hadn’t figured that out quite yet. “I don’t know just yet. I don’t know if I can go back to school. I don’t know if I want to, either,” he said. 

 

Fortunately, Naruto just put his hand on his shoulder. “That’s okay. You can figure it out later,” he said. “For now, just come here.” 

 

Sasuke shifted closer to Naruto. Naruto spread his legs and Sasuke laid between them, resting his head against Naruto’s chest. He let his hands run through Sasuke’s hair. Sasuke could get used to this again. 


	32. Potential Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I'd like to apologize once again for the delayed update. It's just not so easy to post something when you're in the middle of a depressive episode. I would also like to apologize for anyone who's disappointed in the route that I'm taking this. It's fine if you don't like it, because it's all just a matter of personal preference, but it also means a lot to me that some of you will continue to support myself and this story. Thanks for sticking around :)

Sasuke must have dozed off at some point because he was woken up by the sound of the door slamming shut. Then, Itachi’s voice shouting out, “What the fuck are you doing in my house?” 

 

Sasuke lifted his head off of Naruto’s chest. He looked up to see Itachi standing in the doorway and looking super pissed. Except he had Deidara with him, holding his hand, and just looking a little confused. “Sasuke, stay away from him!” Itachi shouted. 

 

Sasuke was still feeling a little groggy after his nap, so he just looked up feeling confused. Then he looked at the scared look on Naruto’s face, then back up at the anger of his brother’s. “No, no, it’s fine, Itachi,” Sasuke said. Itachi narrowed his eyes. “Don’t worry. We’re fine now.” 

 

“It’s not fine! You know what he did to you! He can’t just leave for weeks, then come back and hold you, and then make you think that everything’s fine! Why are you so forgiving? He doesn't deserve it!” Itachi shouted. 

 

Sasuke sat up so he wasn’t laying on top of Naruto anymore. “Itachi, it’s not your relationship,” he said. Itachi glared at him. “You can’t decided who I see. I love you, but it’s not your decision.” 

 

Itachi sighed and finally stepped away from the door. “I’m just trying to look out for you. I-I know it wasn’t all his fault… but you have to see where I’m coming from, right?” he said. 

 

Sasuke nodded. “I know that. But I’ll be fine. We both will,” he said. 

 

Itachi glanced back at Naruto for a moment. He didn’t know what Naruto’s face looked like, but it probably wasn’t good. “You’d better be,” he growled at Naruto. Then he looked back up at Sasuke. “I’ll trust you. Okay? But if he does anything,” he hissed, his glare turned back to Naruto. “I’ll crush him.” 

 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “You’re being overdramatic, Itachi,” he said with a bored tone. 

 

Itachi looked at the floor. “Maybe I am. But it’s just because I care about you, okay?” he said. Sasuke nodded. “Well, I’m gonna go to bed. Dei and I are both tired.” 

 

Sasuke shrugged and nodded. “Alright. Good night,” he said. 

 

“Okay, we’ll talk later,” Itachi said. “Goodnight, Sasuke.  _ Naruto.”  _

 

Sasuke chose not to pay attention to the way his brother growled out Naruto’s name, but it was definitely there. He just laid his head back down on Naruto’s chest until he heard the sound of Itachi’s door closing. “Your brother really hates me, doesn’t he?” Naruto asked suddenly. 

 

That made Sasuke lift his head again. “I won’t sugarcoat it. Yes, he probably does. But I also know that he still really blames himself for it, too. But I think he’ll get over it eventually,” he said. 

 

Naruto sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to try and make him like me more, then,” he said. 

 

“Can I ask you something?” 

 

“Sure.” 

 

“What happened to your face?” Sasuke asked. The bruise on Naruto’s cheek had been there this whole time, and the more time that passed, the more curious Sasuke was. 

 

Naruto bit his his lip and looked away. “Well… your brother happened,” he said. 

 

“What?” 

 

“Um, I finally went back to the restaurant. Your brother makes some really good ramen and I thought you’d be back in Oto by now, you know? So I went back, and that blond guy that’s probably sleeping with your brother was my waiter. He asked me to come back to the kitchen, saying that the chef wanted to ask me something. So I followed him back, and there was your brother. He made everyone else leave, and then just exploded. The first thing he did was punch me in the face, thus the bruise. Then he just yelled at me for a while. He told me he knew about you and me, and that he knew that I left you. He started crying when he yelled at me that I made you attempt suicide. I was really confused, so as soon as I left the restaurant, I had to come find you,” Naruto explained. 

 

Sasuke bit his lip as he stared at Naruto’s bruise. Naruto’s story didn’t seem to be very far-fetched at all. Itachi could be quite unreasonable when he got angry enough. “I’m sorry he did all that. He tends to… overreact quite a bit. He’s just upset, that’s all. And he doesn’t really know what to do, so I guess he’s just taking it out on you. I’m sorry,” Sasuke murmured. 

 

“It’s not your fault,” Naruto whispered, curling his fingers through Sasuke’s hair. 

 

Sasuke shrugged his hand away. “It kind of is. I caused this whole mess. I hurt a lot of people,” he mumbled. 

 

Naruto’s lips were pressing against Sasuke’s forehead. “I’m just so glad that you’re okay. I could never forgive myself if you had actually died,” he said. 

 

Sasuke chose not to say anything. He just let Naruto grab the underside of his chin, and pull him in for a slow kiss. Naruto just kept kissing him, too, after that. He only pulled away to ask, “Can we go to your room?” 

 

He nodded, and the two of them stood up together and walked back to Sasuke’s bedroom. Sasuke shut the door, and Naruto pressed his back against it. He kissed Sasuke gently, then moved his lips down to his neck. “What are you going to do with me?” Sasuke asked. 

 

Naruto moved his lips so he could speak. “My first thought was to have sex with you, but I don’t really want to anymore. I think I just want to hold you and never let go. Y-you mean so much to me a-and I never want to lose you again,” he said. His eyes looked a little bit watery, but he blinked, shook his head, and said, “Is that alright?”

 

Sasuke smiled softly. “From you? Always.” 


	33. Faith

The sheets next to him were cold when Sasuke woke up. He thought nothing of it, until he sat up and prepared to get out of bed for coffee. But as he sat up, he remembered something. He hadn’t slept alone last night. 

 

Memories of that night flooded back to him. Naruto had his arms around Sasuke as their legs tangled together. He pressed kiss after kiss to any part of his body. Sasuke’s ears had been filled with continuous “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry’s.” They had both cried a bit more and just talked about anything until they finally passed out together.  

 

But where was Naruto now? 

 

He was gone. That could only mean one thing: he’d left before Sasuke woke up again. 

 

It was just like the first time. Naruto had realized he didn’t want to be around Sasuke, so he left before the latter got too clingy. The thought made tears come to Sasuke’s eyes. Naruto kept leaving him, and he had good reason to. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t sure what to do. He could go get coffee and face Itachi’s questions. He’d ask, “Well, where’s Naruto?” and Sasuke would have to tell him that he was gone. Then Itachi would get angry and rant loudly about Naruto all while reminding Sasuke that he loved him. 

 

That didn’t seem like fun. Life without Naruto didn’t seem like fun. Why was it that every time Sasuke confessed his feelings for Naruto that he would just run off? Was Sasuke’s emotional baggage just too much for Naruto to bear? It made sense, why he wouldn’t want to be around Sasuke. Who would want to love someone who was such a failure that they couldn’t even kill themselves? 

 

Sasuke was having those thoughts, and before he knew it, he was sobbing into his hands. 

 

He missed Naruto. 

 

He was almost too wrapped up in his crying that he didn’t hear the sound of a phone going off. However, Sasuke was able to hear it, and so he checked his phone. There were no notifications. That was when Naruto glanced at the table on the other side of the bed and discovered a phone in an orange Otter Box that wasn’t his. 

 

The message had come from Kiba, who was Naruto’s best friend. This was Naruto’s phone. This meant one of two things: A) Naruto had left his phone behind in his mad dash for the door this morning or B) he was still in the house and was just having breakfast or something. 

 

Sasuke figured he would never know if he stayed in bed and cried. So he got out of bed, despite his legs shaking. He had to find out if Naruto was still here. He couldn’t be left alone again. 

 

He opened the door and heard the sounds of soft conversation. That could be Itachi and Deidara, or it could be Itachi, Deidara, and Naruto. Sasuke had to find out. 

 

He walked out into the kitchen on shaky legs. Itachi sat next to Deidara, and on the other side of the table sat Naruto. No one had noticed Sasuke’s presence until he sobbed and ran towards Naruto, immediately enveloping him in an embrace. 

 

He heard someone gasp out his name, but he wasn’t quite sure who. Sasuke just kept crying against Naruto’s chest. He was so happy that he was actually here and he couldn’t exactly control himself. 

 

“Sasuke, are you alright?” It was definitely Naruto who had spoken this time. Sasuke could feel the vibrations through his chest. 

 

He forced himself to look up. When Naruto finally saw his face, his eyes widened. “I’m okay,’ Sasuke said. He still didn’t let go of Naruto. 

 

From behind him, he heard Itachi’s voice. “What’s going on, Sasuke?” he asked. 

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke mumbled, then pressed his face against Naruto’s chest again. 

 

Naruto’s fingers were ruffling through Sasuke’s hair. “Please talk to me. I don’t want you to cry,” he said. 

 

Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to lift his head and admit that he was crying because of Naruto again. “I-I just… I woke up and you weren’t there so I got really scared and thought that you were leaving me again… But then I found you out here and I-I’m just so happy that you didn’t leave me,” he cried. 

 

Sasuke felt Naruto’s arms squeeze him a little tighter. “No, Sasuke, I wouldn’t do that. Not again; never again,” he swore. “I just woke up with a such a headache, and I wanted you to get some more rest, so I went to get some coffee. I-I’m so sorry, Sasuke.” 

 

Sasuke wasn’t mad. He couldn’t dream of being mad at Naruto for something like this. “It’s okay,” he murmured. “It’s okay.” 

 

Of course, however, this did not go over quietly. “I’m sorry, but is it really okay?” Itachi was asking rather loudly. 

 

Sasuke finally lifted his head and looked at his brother. Sure, there were still tears on his cheeks, but none of this was Naruto’s fault. “Yes, Itachi. It’s fine, and it’s not your problem,” he said. 

 

Itachi stared at Sasuke, until he finally got up from his seat at the counter. “I’m sorry, but yes, it kind of is my problem. I know you’re an adult, but come on! How many times is he gonna hurt you before you decided enough is enough? I know this time he didn’t leave, but you still got worried! And I believe that’s means enough for you to break it off with him!” he hissed. 

 

“I never meant to hurt him!” Naruto cried out. Itachi raised an eyebrow. “I know you don’t like me, and that’s fine, but I honestly never could even dream of hurting Sasuke. I do care about him, and this morning was just an honest mistake. And I feel horrible for worrying him, but I’m trying to get better! I’m trying to be the boyfriend he honestly deserves!”

 

“You’re not trying hard enough! My brother doesn’t deserve someone who’s going to leave the morning after! Why don’t you ever stay? What kind of commitment issues are you holding onto?” Itachi growled. 

 

Naruto let go of Sasuke at this point. Probably so he could argue better, assumably. “You don’t know a thing about me! And if we’re talking about past grievances, then let’s talk about how you called the guy you liked a slut!” he argued. 

 

It wasn’t often that Itachi got that rageful fire in his eyes. This was one of those times.  “You bastard! What gives you the right-” 

 

Itachi stopped moving and speaking when the sleeve of his shirt was caught by Deidara, who was looking rather bored. “Calm down. It isn’t worth it, hm,” he said rather calmly. 

 

Sasuke wasn’t expecting when he shot his glare towards Deidara. “No, it’s totally worth it! I have to protect my brother! I’m not letting him slip away from me again!” This time, when Itachi spoke, his voice cracked. From where Sasuke stood, his eyes looked a little glassy. 

 

Sasuke sighed. He supposed now was the time for him to cut in. “You don’t have to protect me. I’m an adult. You have to let me make mistakes and figure life out for myself. I’m not ten years old anymore; I don’t need your protection,” he said. 

 

Itachi turned towards him, and yeah, he was definitely on the verge of tears. “I just don’t want to lose you,” he said. 

 

“We’re all gonna die eventually, Itachi,” Sasuke said bluntly. When Deidara glared at him, Sasuke sighed and added, “But I won’t until it’s natural, okay? You don’t need to protect me. Stop trying to act like my mom.” 

 

Itachi smiled softly. “I’m sorry. It’s just… been a rough few weeks,” he murmured as he looked at the floor. 

 

“I know. But it’s over now. We’ve got to move on,” Sasuke said. 

 

“Speaking of moving on, I think it’s time we moved on into the shower, hm,” Deidara said as he arose from his chair. He didn’t even let Itachi say anything before he dragged him off to the master bedroom. 

 

And so Sasuke was left alone in the kitchen with Naruto. He turned back to his boyfriend, whose eyes were fixed upon the floor. “You okay?” Sasuke asked as he threaded his fingers through Naruto’s. 

 

“I’m sorry for almost fighting your brother,” Naruto mumbled. He still didn’t look up from the floor. 

 

Sasuke shrugged. “It’s fine. He’s just… stressed out. There’s a lot going on with him that he won’t even tell me about. He gets angry and he gets passionate, but he doesn’t always know the best way to show it,” he said. 

 

Naruto nodded. He finally looked up, and his blue eyes were a bit glassy. Sasuke’s face softened. “I’m also sorry about not being there this morning. Every excuse I give is just gonna sound dumb, even if it’s the truth. Please believe me when I say that I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said. 

 

“I believe you,” Sasuke said, his smile fading. “I always have and probably always will. I was overreacting. But I am glad that you’re here.” 

 

“I’m glad I’m here, too. I swear I’ll never leave you again.” 

 

“You’d better not.” 


	34. Epilogue

Six months went by after all that happened and Naruto seemed to hold onto his promise. He stayed by Sasuke’s side and he stayed faithful. 

 

Sasuke decided that with his fixed relationships with Naruto and Itachi and everyone else here that it would be in his best interest to stay in Konoha. He quit school and turned to working full time in the restaurant as a cook with Itachi. 

 

Six months had gone by, and Itachi was planning his wedding with Deidara. Sasuke couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen his brother so happy. 

 

Speaking of his brother, Itachi seemed to be getting along much better with Naruto. They didn’t fight every time they saw each other. Naruto didn’t stay at their house full time, but he was over often enough to finally form a pretty decent relationship with Itachi. Sasuke was quite happy about that. 

 

Sasuke had been seeing his therapist regularly. She had prescribed some medication for him, and while it was still early, he seemed to be getting a bit better. He hadn’t cut himself since when he’d attempted suicide. 

 

Years ago, Sasuke was sure he’d never be satisfied just working in the restaurant like the rest of his family forever. But now, he was really beginning to enjoy it. He wasn’t a great chef, but working as one certainly helped him and Itachi bond a bit more. Sasuke was making pretty good friendships with all of the employees there, too. 

 

Overall, Sasuke was satisfied with life. Sure, it seemed fairly average, but he liked average. He liked dinner dates with his boyfriend and movie nights with his brother. 

 

Sasuke was happy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap. Looking back on this, I'm not incredibly satisfied with how it turned out. I started writing this over a year ago, and back then it seemed like such a good idea, but now I would do everything differently. I held off from posting this for so long because I was trying to think of the right way to end it, but I decided not to waste any more energy on it. There's a lot more works that I have started that I'm more interested in and I think will turn out much better. This was my first published fic, and I'm still so surprised by all the positive feedback. It really means a lot to me. So thank you to everyone who read it, who commented, and who gave kudos. May our paths meet again.


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